Nice Girl syndrome... so true

[Tylt33]

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Around 50% in our country. This number is of course inflated by those that are unfortunate enough to have to go through multiple divorces

 

[Nicola]

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if you do not take care of yourself you can not take care of others. People forget this sometimes

Exactly If i were having a bad time or being sick i would be in no condition to help others with their needs or wants if i felt the need to help them, if its something as petty as could you get me a glass of water its a case of.. get it yourself

But if everything is fine with me, i will be there for others to talk to, if the need someone to talk to, because everyone at sompoint in their lives needs someone to talk to.

 

[chickened]

If that is so then the Mormons have it made, polygamy? I agree that the paper is worthless but making a commitment in front of witnesses and by witnesses I mean not just God or whatever your deity is but in front of someone else that actually means something to you and you respect it will give weight to your commitment because if it is just between two people then the door to divorce is easily opened. Kids are an example people will stay together for the sake of the kids but after they are grown and gone you discover you have learned to live with each others' issues during the child raising years. People are not as careful with the vows they make these days that is why they do not last, talk to people that have been married for 50 plus years about their commitment let them tell you why it is important. Getting advice from a person that has been married and divorced multiple times or even divorced once is not always a good idea.
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you do not need marriage to be committed

a strong relationship is strong because of the two people not because of a piece of paper

 

[chickened]

What if all they want is a hug would you tell them to get that themselves? I have found plenty of lip service in life but little actual action. Not picking on you but find this line of thinking in our society selfish to a degree.
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if you do not take care of yourself you can not take care of others. People forget this sometimes

Exactly If i were having a bad time or being sick i would be in no condition to help others with their needs or wants if i felt the need to help them, if its something as petty as could you get me a glass of water its a case of.. get it yourself

But if everything is fine with me, i will be there for others to talk to, if the need someone to talk to, because everyone at sompoint in their lives needs someone to talk to.

 

[Nicola]

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Exactly If i were having a bad time or being sick i would be in no condition to help others with their needs or wants if i felt the need to help them, if its something as petty as could you get me a glass of water its a case of.. get it yourself

But if everything is fine with me, i will be there for others to talk to, if the need someone to talk to, because everyone at sompoint in their lives needs someone to talk to.


I myself personally, have never been a really "Huggy" person, have been that way since i was a baby, But if someone needs a hug and i can see that i will put my personal preference of not liking hugs aside and will give my friend or family memeber a hug, its the friends that constantly try and hug me knowing that i don't like having my personal space invaded that bug me.

 

[un-named]

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marriage is falling out of favor in the us, from what I heard

I think it takes one heck of a strong commitment to stick with just one person for many years, struggle through the changes when there may be someone better suited for that one person during various life stages.....just my opinion

 

[KristyHall]

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you do not need marriage to be committed

a strong relationship is strong because of the two people not because of a piece of paper


actually I think polygamy is ok, for men and women. Polygamy doesn't always equal oppression of women. Just like marriage doesn't always equal oppression of women.

And sticking together for the sake of the kids can cause damage to the children. children pick up a lot more than one might think.

 

[chickened]

It may be they are trying to help you enjoy the comforts that are outside your comfort zone, it does feel unnatural at first but like anything it gets better and soon you will be hugging people. I was the same way and I married into a family that hugs all the time and I found that my preconceived prejudices kept me from enjoying the great joy I get getting and giving hugs, as an example.

 

[KristyHall]

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huh?

 

[Nicola]

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Yes, i get that people Like hugs etc, but i dont mind the occasional hug, I just don't like the fact that someone is coming up to me every 5 minutes invading my personal space without my permission to do so, or sneaking up on me to hug me, i would think that me not hugging back would be a sign of " I do not like this" and me saying " please stop that i do not like it" would be a big enough hint to some people that they are making me highly uncomfortable, especially when its a male friend, that is a big NO to me. I am not trying to argue just trying to word my point of view on it. I am just one of those people that like my space and who respect others choices with their space and would like them to do the same in return.