NY Gay Pride Weekend

[welsummerchicks]

That makes a lot more sense and I think if everyone followed that, there would be some much happier people in the world.

Since you're in this situation, can I ask a question - do you think the 'assignment' choice is too arbitrary. I read all sorts of assurance sthat it 'usually' is 'the right choice' - do you think so? Again, an incredible LACK of studies on any of these subjects.

ETA - FINALLY found some information on intersex issues.

And - yes - calls into question everything I was told.

Except what was told here by arock...I'm going to learn more about this.

One article I read said that 1% of all human births show some degree of external ambiguity, but a smaller percentage than that are actually designated as intersex.

 

[Laurajean]

Quote:
THAT is funny stuff right there....

 

[welsummerchicks]

YEah, but doesn't it make you think? That right there says nature, not nurture.

 

[Laurajean]

Yes, and I agree with that.

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

Quote:
That's funny! That's the same speech I posted several pages back! Different link, same speech. The TED link is the speech delivered.

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

And BTW, we need to remember to thank the moderators for allowing this and working to keep it this way!!!

Think os the lives that an be changed from exposure to this information!!

 

[Black Cochin Bantams]

As the parent of a gay child I can tell you it is nature not nurture. Is this what we as parents wanted for him? No but that is what nature predestined. We decided that accepting him and his partner is much preferable to losing contact with them. We have ended up with 2 incredible sons.

 

[welsummerchicks]

How great! What a wonderful thing to have such parents.

In a way I am kind of sitting here with steam coming out of my head - I am kind of incensed that for years I some how only got one side of intersex issues in crisis work and other training.

Grrrr...there is a whole nother side to this..thanks arock for your story. At first I though it was just a great story, now I realize I'm going to learn something very useful because of you.

 

[Laurajean]

Quote:
x2.

 

[arockkid]

In a sense, it is completely arbitrary, and I should start by saying a good doctor shouldn't push in one direction or another. Though when you're sitting there being told YOU have to choose, a little push would have been nice. It's most important to take into consideration the anatomy. Our daughter has a condition where the 'ovotestes' have a 30-50% likelihood of becoming cancerous by her late teens, band in nearly all cases removal is recommended, which was done for her at 6 weeks.
Otherwise internally, her structures are entirely female, so while she could never have produced her own children whether with sperm or egg, there is a likelihood that she can use a donor egg to carry a child. So that was pretty clear to us.
And not that I'd recommend this for the faint of heart but if you do an image search for intersex, you will see that there is a range from completely female to completely male....with just about everything in between.
She sits quite closely to the female side. She's also likely to top out at about 4'6" without growth hormones, and 5' with, so there is even a push for most children with her condition to be raised female simply because it's easier in society to be a short girl than guy...sad but true.
Now, as far as 'chosing wrong'? A decent percentage of these kids will end up gay, or at least higher than average...but surprisingly few change genders...they are just a lot more likely to engage in, and enjoy behaviors and activities associated with the opposite sex. They tend to be sensitive boys, or tomboy girls. The ones with the most issues are those that feel different and no one ever explains why.
As a total tomboy myself, it's ironic that she was given to me, because I was so freaked out at the prospect of having a 'princess'!

And on the total plus side I never ever ever have to worry about being on an episode of 16 and Pregnant.

I've done a little blog, which is admittedly horribly updated, but if it gives one person one piece of info they take to heart, that's good enough.
http://xoxychild.blogspot.com/

I also want to vent about my biggest pet peeve, coming from people who know nothing about her condition. They do not mean any harm, but ones that unknowingly 'compare' her to boys kinda gets me. I remember right after bringing her home, where anything reminding me of what we had going on could make me cry, a friend said "Oh, she's got such beautiful lashes.....usually only boys have lashes like that" or more recently making a comment to her playing on a jungle gym.... "that is the difference between boys and girls.....my boys would jump right off that and break their necks." I wanted to reply...."eh, no....that's the difference between smart and dumb". Arrr.