Oh Craigslist, You Amuse Me So!

[rosewolf22002]

I love cats! This is to funny!

 

[MuranoFarms]

LOL!

 

[Carols Clucks]

I Need that CAT!!!

I have his brother right here. Maybe the two of them will plot to keep each other busy and I can use the tp in peace (instead of pieces)

 

[kuntrygirl]

 I love cats! This is to funny!

x2

 

[kuntrygirl]

FREE SILKIE ROOSTER (Secret Location)

Date: 2012-10-17, 9:22AM CDT
Reply to this post [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

Here is this fella's story. He is a loner - a rebel. He has survived for years with unsupervised probation. He is left to his own devices every day. This little tazmanian devil wakes up every morning with a new plan of attack. He begins each morning with a loud crow or as I say, his "EMS - Emergency Broadcast System" call warning everyone near and far that the devil is up and ready to rumble. He roams around his backyard to see if anything is unsettled or if anyone has infiltrated his kingdom. Once he surveys the scene, he then proceeds to find his plan of escape to the outside world. Once the renegade has embarked on his covert operation, his radar focuses on the neighbor's yard. The neighbor's yard has a couple hundred animals or in his eyes (victims). He then maneuvers unnoticed (well at least he thinks so), into the next perimeter while the sun has not come up yet. He knows the neighbor's routine because he is front and center as the neighbor opens the door to go and open the chicken coops. Each morning is a new battle for the neighbor because he doesn't know what point of attack the little monster will appear. It could be North. It could be South. It could be East. It could be West. So the neighbor grabs his big stick. This is the only protection that he has to fend off this wild beast. As the neighbor quietly opens the door and grabs the big stick, he quietly sneaks towards his OWN chicken yard to open his chicken coops. Before the neighbor gets to the chicken yard, the wildebeest gets into position and takes off like his has been practicing for the 2012 Olympic's 100 yard dash. The neighbor runs for his life into the chicken yard to try to avoid the crouching tiger. The neighbor makes it into his chicken yard just in the nick of time. WHEW! The insurgent almost got him. As the neighbor proceeds to open his chicken coops, so that his chickens can begin their morning, he watches his back to make sure that the winged varmint hasn't hurdled the fence in another attempt to "surprise" him. The neighbor is safe for now. Once all of his animals are out into the chicken yard, the neighbor quietly attempts to lock up the yard. Little does he know the zombie rooster is hiding right around the corner waiting for the kill. The neighbor thinks he has fooled the Joker and has cruised passed his road to hell morning adventure. NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The little jackass has found a weak point of entry. The neighbor feels a below the knee (ankle) strike on his left ankle. The steel toe knee length rubber boots failed again in it's attempt to provide protection, with their steel-toed version that is supposed to provide an extra degree of protection from on the job hazards (NASTY MEAN ROOSTERS). The neighbor goes down. The terrorist has struck yet AGAIN. The neighbor races to his feet as the thug rooster steps back only to charge faster with a rope-a-dope. The neighbor is able to gather his thoughts and grabs the big stick that was ejected from his hand when he was taken down. The neighbor gives him a hard smack to the rear to try to push him away so that he can make it back inside. The enemy runs behind the neighbor but is not able to catch him. The neighbor gets inside and looks out the window as the foe paces alongside the door. Yet another morning of cardio.

Soooooooooooo, to conclude this story, I AM THE NEIGHBOR who is having a heck of a time with my neighbor's rooster. The neighbor's don't know it but I am placing an ad for THEIR rooster. I will tell them about the ad when I get home from work. Until then, email me if you are interested in this bundle of joy. His is fiesty, mean, rude, cruel, aggressive and a good watch dog. He will not let any visitors get out of their cars when they come to visit. So, for all of those unwanted guests that you have been trying to avoid for months, this fella would make the perfect security guard for your yard.

I will PAY you to have this varmint REMOVED. Only catch is that you can't kill him. Although I hate the little ***, I don't want to see any harm come to him. Please give me an early Christmas present by allowing me to have something to live for. My life has been pure HELL with this darn rooster. And his owners don't give a crap about him. He comes over to my house to eat and drink AND get treats. He knows the schedule.

This message will self destruct in 5 seconds.
Location: Secret Location
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 3345008270

 

[elsfieldchickens]

ive seen one that says female cockerels for sale!

 

[oldrooster]

ive seen one that says female cockerels for sale!

I'll by one I'll send my Uncle who used to love me but she died after it to pick them up. Don't believe about my uncle ask roger miller here about it.

 

[Scooter&Suzie]

http://lancaster.craigslist.org/grd/3261364433.html

Laying hens + Rooster - $4 (---)

Date: 2012-09-09, 8:56PM EDT
--- [Errors when replying to ads?]

I got five Sexlink laying hens and one rooster for sale. They are about 1&1/2 years old and are laying brown eggs, except for the Rooster. If interested call 555-555-5555. No calls after 9:00 pm



Darn, I really wanted a rooster that laid brown eggs!

 

[Gargoyle]

and are laying brown eggs, except for the Rooster.

What color eggs is the Rooster laying?

 

[oldrooster]

What color eggs is the Rooster laying?

none, he's frying up green ham to go with the neighbor's green eggs......