Oh Craigslist, You Amuse Me So!

[Angelicisi]

Awwwww! lol

That reminds me of art class in 8th grade

me: oh you know Mary? I know her from ceramics class. She always brought this weird girl with her

Claire: .....that was me

 

[MEMama3]

That reminds me of art class in 8th grade

me: oh you know Mary? I know her from ceramics class. She always brought this weird girl with her

Claire: .....that was me

Lol!!!

 

[kuntrygirl]

Answers to the name "DipXXXX. This is the most insane dog I have ever known. He eats acorns, rocks, electrical tape, dirty diapers, xbox controllers, lego bricks, and just about any object that will fit into his face-XXXX. He also knows how to open the fridge so half of my food has dog bites in it now.

He refuses to poop outside. I put him outside and he poops on the porch, I put a gate on the porch and he poops on the steps, I put a gate in front of the steps and he poops on the sidewalk. If you take him for a walk he'll hold it for hours and poop the moment you get back indoors, preferably on a shag rug. The harder it is to clean the more he wants to poop on it.

Doesn't respond to a single command despite having been through obedience school twice. In front of the obedience teacher he's perfectly well behaved but at home he's like some kind of demon-spawn that only wants to run around tearing up furniture, pooping on things and seeing how many things he can eat before he gets sicks and vomits on a prized possession.

Did I mention that he has a skin condition and won't stop scratching (and grunting) ALL NIGHT LONG. My eyes are constantly bloodshot and I have massive migraines because I can no longer sleep. I tried putting him in the shed at night but all he does is howl and tears up/poops all over everything in the shed. He climbed on top of the washing machine and POOPED ON IT!

The last time I took him for a ride in my car he refused to potty before we left but the moment we started driving he got the runs and shot feces all over the back seat. I don't mean like a single little puddle, I mean his XXX was a fire hose and he purposefully made sure to cover as much square footage of the upholstery as doggly-possible. I found it all the way from driver to passenger side from seat bottom to head-rest.

Oh, he also has gastro-intestinal distress from eating so many strange things that he farts incessantly and it smells like week-old rancid ham steak dipped in dead raccoon. Speaking of raccoon the little XXXXXXX once caught one and brought it into the XXXXXXX house. The worst part is that it was still alive and I had to chase the little XXXXXX all over the place while it was hissing and making angry noises at me. All the while DipXXXX is freaking the XXXX out so i had to contend with that as well.

I should also note that DipXXXX HATES my cat, except when he's trying to XXXX Mr. Jingles, then he likes him. A few weeks ago they got into it so bad that I heard them in the yard knocking things over (my fountain for one) and the next thing you know Mr. Jingles comes shooting through the cat flap like a fur-rocket, before the plastic flap had even closed here comes DipXXXX trying to shove his way through a door 8 inches too small for him. It looked like my back door was giving birth to the spawn of satan. He was shaking his head back and forth in anger and howling some un-godly howl and just generally freaking out. I'm not sure if it was because he was XXXXXX off at the cat or if he was freaked out because he got stuck. So I ended up having to put on some oven mitts and try to calm down this XXXXXX off and scared retard of a dog. He had himself wedged in so bad I had to use some dish soap on his fur to lube him up and get him out, which was difficult because he insisted on going FORWARD even when I was trying to pull him back out the other way.

One more thing, when company comes over he gets so excited that he runs around losing control of his sizable bladder all over my hardwood floors and goes under the coffee table and "jumps" around under there repeatedly bashing his head into the wood.

No, I'm not trying to pawn him off on some poor sucker, nobody deserves this mess, I just needed to vent. Hope it made you laugh, it makes me laugh too....but kinda more in a demented "I wanna cry" way.

--If you've made it all this way hopefully you will figure out that this post is a joke.--

 

[kentuckychicks]

Omg! I was laughing so hard!!

 

[AK Baha]

Omg! I was laughing so hard!!

x 2

 

[Amarisus]

Sounds like my husband's dog...I hate that dang thing

 

[alibra]

Awwwww! lol

She thought it was funny tho hahaha

 

[Chickenfan4life]

Some of it sounds like my dog. My dog crapped all over the house the first MONTH that I had her. Of course, it turned out it was just the terrible food she was eating.

 

[Quailz]

http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/grq/4140737375.html

The Game Farm Ga Bloodline Peruvian. Asil . America . Mini America Games . sell now Anyone need good Rooster please calling Danny 2one4 23fiv 52two8. Email youtube choigausa We are Sell for show only

We are Sell for show only? Is this guy even trying??? I can't even figure out what kind of chicken he's trying to cheat someone into paying $600 dollars for. Also what is email youtube choigausa? Maybe this is a rare breed, but I can't tell from the post!

Also loved the title of this one -
"Nice Stuff 4 Sale By Owner"

This next post bugged me -
http://milwaukee.craigslist.org/grd/4153419679.html
Done doing the chicken thing for now? If you are going to get a pet(and that is what these are), you need to be in it for the long haul! You can't just have one until it gets boring then get a new one!

http://southbend.craigslist.org/grd/4149139053.html
Does this guy just throw all his/her animals into the same box and get rid of the babies? There is something called selective breeding. Try it.

Ahhhhh... feels good to vent that anger.

 

[CochinBrahmaLover]

Ok so I was bored & looked at Detroit and look what I found.... Is this legal? LOL. I think it's a joke, or the last part is.


Deer and Stags for Sale - $50 (Southfield)
Hi, My name is Lisa, I recently bought a house and a few days ago I caught 6 deer in my backyard. I have been feeding them and grooming them daily.
One is a few years old and a few baby deer stag also. Pretty and unique deer.

Asking $50 each and the big one im asking $100
Great with kids,easy to feed and let kids feed also.

Would like to see them go to a good home before Christmas
(they will turn into reindeer and fly)
Thanks

Please contact if interested in deer, need gone now.