OK I need to say this: to new parents

[chics in the sun]

I have WHAT in my yard? :

Several of you seemed to have missed the part where I said if you must co sleep use a side car or bassinet etc etc etc..... There are ways to sleep with your baby next to you. That is different than putting your baby in your bed with you and American beds are usually different than Japanese beds. Japanese beds tend to be harder and use fewer accoutrements.


I give up. People apparently hear what they want to hear anyway.

Yep, pretty much. I have no idea where the statistic is about death rates being four times higher in cribs (is that a percentage/ rate, or just number of infants?) is found. I actually grew up in Japan, and yes, their beds are completely different than ours, as are European mattresses (spent time there, too).
Yes, there are factors that can reduce the risks of deaths like not smoking, using drugs, or obesity, but how many of the women that lost their babies to co-sleeping suffocation or injury thought they had it all figured out and were doing it correctly? Probably every single one.

I'm not here to judge, just educate.​

 

[ChickenfootDuckbutt]

I'm not here to judge, just educate

ahh, but see, that is where you are wrong, by trying to "educate" people, who have already done something, or who WANT to, you ARE judging, by saying that people should NOT sleep with their babies in their beds, then you are saying that their parenting skills are incorrect, and people who have kids never want to hear "YOU AIN'T DOIN' THAT RIGHT! bad parent! badbadbadbadbadbadbadbadbad! bad parent, bad!" educating is not telling people what they SHOULD NOT do.

people don't realize that there is NO "right" way to raise a child, there is no "right" way to do anything with a child, some may say that is unfair for the african tribes' women to carry their babies on their backs all day in the hot sun while they work their fields, but they've done it for hundreds of years, some may say it's not right to feed your baby bacon flavored waffles, but I'm sure if there was such a thing, SOMEONE would feed their baby bacon flavored waffles. there is no BOOK, babies aren't born with a 3,000 page manual attached to their bums for you to skim over right after baby is born, unless ofcourse, you swollered a book during your pregnancy...

we must look at all sides of things, not just do this because some nut with big glasses, poofy hair and no teeth said to because he/she are most likely an accult leader who have 5 or 6 wives/hubbies and dozens of kids.​

 

[chics in the sun]

No, they are not the same thing. Educating is providing the facts, without judgement, and the facts are that hundreds of babies a year are dying of suffocation while co-sleeping. The rate has increased recently, and people often don't realize that it can be dangerous. If someone still chooses to do it - especially after they have educated themselves on the safest way to go about it - I'm not going to hold it against them. That would be judging.

And yes, if these African babies were dying on mothers backs while being carried around in the sun, they would probably come to their own coclusions that maybe it isn't safe and they would do something differently. But if it is safe and they have been doing it for thousands of years, why would anyone tell them not to?

If I were in a country like Japan - where co-sleeping does not appear to pose a risk (because they don't seem to be having the issue we are here with suffocating infants), then nobody would be telling them not to co- sleep.

Numbers don't lie. They aren't just made up by a 'nut with big glasses and poofy hair'.

 

[effie]

I guess I must be the tough love mom here-had three and nursed them all--for a year!!!! None of them shared a bed with me---with all the other things you go thru with a baby -weaning -potty training,etc--why in the world would I create that habit to have to break!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have heard horror stories from some parents trying to get it broke---and lets touch on how many years you do it and are you and your husband celibant in the bedroom the whole time-----I know some parents that kept theirs in the bedroom for several years and I caught the little boy mimicking sex with his sister

---sick ,huh?believe me -they are out there--they just think little Johnny is sleeping--- harm can surface in several ways. But with all the information we learn on each and everything we do everyday--it is our right to do as we think fit. There can also be consequences as she is trying to point out. We probably are all guilty of crawling in our parents beds or our children crawling in ours with the occasional nightmare but I have to say , I was really surprised how many do sleep with their children......




I must say this post was not intended as a response to any particluar person on here----just my thoughts....

 

[dinahmoe]

it is just sad when any child dies,esp from an accident involving a parent,who just didn't know.

i personally slept with my 2 babies.i couldn't sleep if they were in their crib, right next to the bed.i was up every 5 min checking to make sure they were breathing.i could feel them breathing when they were next to me.i put my daughter on the far side of the bed and watched as she wormed her way over to me in her sleep until she was touching my side,maybe the body heat or smell.i did lighten the covers and used less pillows during that time though.

breastfeeding was the hardest thing i have ever done.it takes so much out of a mom and i applaud anyone who does it and however they can manage it.

 

[klf73]

I haven't read the whole thread...BUT, I co-slept with #1 and #2...but that was it. I would be soo exhausted that I would fall asleep when I didnt want to and wake up in a panic. I would position myself in painful positions while nursing in bed so I could make sure I put the baby back and STILL fell asleep. If I had no control over staying awake I didn't trust having them next to me. I just thought it better to be safe than sorry

of course having a nightmare that you smothered the baby in your bed didn't help

 

[CluckyJay]

Don't do the nasty when your kids are around. Problem solved.

 

[mamagardener]

I have WHAT in my yard? :

Several of you seemed to have missed the part where I said if you must co sleep use a side car or bassinet etc etc etc..... There are ways to sleep with your baby next to you. That is different than putting your baby in your bed with you and American beds are usually different than Japanese beds. Japanese beds tend to be harder and use fewer accoutrements.


I give up. People apparently hear what they want to hear anyway.

I agree with you, and even if I didn't I would not act like some of the other posters on this thread. Like you said people hear what they want.​

 

[AriLovesChickens]

In my mind, putting the baby in a bassinet nearby does not equate with "co-sleeping", so to say that we can still co-sleep with the baby in a bassinet /sidecar is a little insulting. It's just not the same.

I'm a light sleeper, and neither one of my newborns would stay asleep unless they were directly next to me. It worked for us. That doesn't mean it can work for everyone. I also took all the recommended safety precautions -- short of moving them out of my bed.