Old Boyfriend Looking for ME!

[Eggs4Sale]

Quote:
That would be correct. The reason they became EX was I couldn't stand them any longer.

 

[Eggs4Sale]

I think the heading of this post says it all.

Step back and breathe. Clear your head.

He's not worth it. Your husband is.

Picture that heading being said by your mom. Your grandmother. Your mother-in-law. Your ANYONE.

 

[fowltemptress]

I guess that would make all the difference. My exes became exes because I realized they weren't right for me as a partner, not because of anything wrong in them. They make good friends, though.

That's a point, though . . . if you're on here asking for advice, that could be a red flag to begin with.

 

[thewarriorchild]

Quote:
Ummm I will talk to him for you.... <said the single Mom>

If he is an architect I bet you could find info about him before contacting him. I am good at that if you want me to see what I can findout about him let me know!

 

[ZepChick]

Like someone else said, if my husband met up with his ex-girlfriend/model, I would be SO hurt. Even a phone call, aargh, I think it would just about kill me. I would appreciate his honesty, but oh boy, I would probably be feeling terrible.

 

[mom'sfolly]

I think I would tell hubby, but I would treat it like any old friend trying to contact me. I think I'd be a little suspecious of the reason for contact, pleased to reconnect with an old friend, and dubious of expectations of continuing real friendship. I would make the contact, but with little expectation of anything more than a "hi, how are you". But.....

I would also carefully examine your motives and expectations before making contact. A little self examination can save a lot of heartache in the long term. If you feel a thrill or a spark at the idea of getting together with this person, you have to consider if it is really worth it. You also need to think about what that thrill or sense of excitement means to your marriage. If it is just a genuine desire to see or talk to an old friend, by all means go ahead.

 

[michelle1017]

Quote:
I agree!

 

[Quillgirl]

I told DH about the email last night. He said, "How's he doing?" and I told him I have no idea because I hadn't answered the email. He said he would feel really weird if I had been having a conversation with him in secret for a while, but since that wasn't the case, "go ahead and catch up."

I understand that old flame might have motives. However, other men have had motives over the years and I have successfully deflected them despite their surface appeal and accessibility (a dad on my son's team, one of their coaches, a neighbor, a friend of my hubby's early in our marriage, and a couple of random single men...) I have no desire to have an affair with anyone. If OF is looking for a relationship, then I'd wish him well in finding one.

I do wonder why so many men try to start things with women they KNOW are married? sheesh.

I believe this guy lives out of state, possibly on the opposite coast from me (last I heard, that was his plan.) There would be no plans for a reunion-style get together. If I do contact him it would be to find out how life has treated him, convey the happiness I have in mine, and then that will be that.

I sort of think if I don't say hello, DH will assume it's because I didn't feel like I could contact OF without rekindling things. He'll ask if I contacted OF, and if not, why not. Obviously I have to be agreeable to a romance, and I am not receptive AT ALL. I'm just curious about someone I used to care for and hope all is well.

I'll let you know the end decision.

 

[Quillgirl]

Random single men sounds strange. What I meant is men who happened to be in a class or a group I belong to, etc.

 

[beefy]

sounds like the situation has been handled tactfully all around.