privacy during labor

[The Wolf Queen]

Privacy is a good thing. I agree with you.

 

[dun chick]

most hospitals will limit 2-3 people in the room. You will have doc and possibly at least 3 or more other hospital staff. It's nice everyone is so supportive and want to be there for the big moment, tell dh you don't have the energy to entertain everyone while you are concentrating bringing his child in the world.

 

[momofdrew]

When my granddaughter was born we waited in the waiting room until after she was born we got to see her when she was 5 mins old
It's bad enough that the doctor and staff are there poking and checking you dont need mil and mom and dad's and brothers and sisters all in there watching you... talk to your DH and tell him no please and thank you

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

OMG I am SO on your side about this!! Tell him what frenchhen said!!

That was great!! Seriously, tell him you do NOT want people around while you are in pain. I was not the nicest person during labor and I didn't need anyone else to be there and tick me off!

I know a woman whose FATHER in law was in the room!!!

I am sorry there are parts of me that there are very few people on this planet that are allowed to see!!! He is so not on that list!

Besides, I am sure yours will go fine, but I had all kinds of complications and issues. I was clear no one comes until the morning after the baby is born. It was much better that way. Good luck!!

 

[SophieLain127]

If student nurses or doctors show up with your doctor you have every right to make them leave. I had my mom and dad and my DH in the room with me. It was nice because they did exactly what I said (I think they were afraid that the devil would come out in me...lol) they were quiet and waited their turn to hold the baby. I was first then DH then after a while either mom or dad held her, I don't know I was exhausted by that point. Then for the duration of the time I pretty much hogged her up....lol.

 

[saddina]

Do what makes you comfortable, when I had our first it took 3 days, my FIL brought 2 books and sat/slept in the waiting room untill his grandson was born. He would come in every 4 hours or so and ask if we needed anything (food/water for hubby and bring it in), UNLESS you have a family member who is happy to sit in the waiting room and be unintrousive, make a deal that family will be called when you hit the "active" pushing part of labor, and once the baby is delivered they can see them.

 

[farmerlor]

This is one time when YOU get to call the shots. A nervous, upset woman in labor only prolongs labor and isn't good for the baby either so you get to decide who to call and who to have in the labor room and if anyone gets pissy about it that's just too darn bad.

 

[Katy]

We didn't tell anyone with the first until he made his appearance. The other two my folks knew because I needed a babysitter. I didn't want ANYONE around except my husband. I've always thought that should be a private time for the couple. There's plenty of time for the family to be around later.

 

[MissPrissy]

I held firm to my choice not to have people at the hospital. It is far too much stress with people wanting to visit 'for a minute' etc. Even knowing eople are hanging around outside makes me anxious. You can make it very clear you do not want people at the hospital and still let your DH have his excitement in telling people. Be very frank right now. When the time comes you will not allow anyone in to see you and the baby until it is all over and done and you are resting comfortably in your own room.

Stick to your guns. It is your DH's job to aide you at this time not to make more stress for you. Let him know you fully appreciate his excitement and wanting to shout to the world but the stress and anxiety you are under is very bad for you and the baby.

 

[calicokat]

I"m glad to hear someone else shares my opinion on this!

My first was born 16 year ago and I felt the same way. As I recall, my stance was "Unless you have seen THOSE parts of me as an adult, or you have a medical degree - you are not welcome

"

Now, my mom did figure out we were in labor (she worked at the hospital and saw I'd been admitted), and my sister (DH wasn't home when the contractions started so I called her to help me time them over the phone.) So they were at the hospital, but I didn't see them until a half hour after the delivery or so.

For our second, we took our son to our Daycare provider to babysit (she was awesome and like a family memer!)- no family knew until we called after the delivery.

For our last we made an exception. I knew it would be our last, and I knew from the first two that my DH isn't really good about being my advocate and getting me what I want or need during labor. So I had my sister there and it was great. I wish I had brought her in for the first two labors!

My SIL (DH's sister) still holds a grudge over not being present for any of the births, but I don't care. I did not want a waiting room full of people waiting on me to "perform" and pop out that baby. And these are people who have walked in on me in my own home in the bathtub - and proceeded to have a conversation - so I knew what I was in for if I even TRIED to set any boundries. They don't understand boundries at all.

As others have said, stick to your guns - if you cave it will only get harder later when you try to set other boundries with them.