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That's true....she loves to get his "dander" up that he would be very frustrated.
Our counselor worked with us as family unit, AND individual counseling as well.
Hubby does not like the counselors even he was willing to go each and every time when appointments are being made. Even Love and Logic methods would NOT work for HIM but it does work somewhat with me which I would incorporate some of my methods with that Logic method. I don't have that much of a problem getting my daughter to do chores or being asked what should be done for the day.
Hubby and daughter always clashed from day one, the minute he comes home from work, her demeanor changes. She knows better to listen to me because my punishments are consisent and swift, not dragging it out for days or weeks to come, reminding her of her past bad deeds like hubby's methods. He believes that she needs a "good ol fashioned disclipine". (I don't necessarily agree with this either...that is the problem. As our counselor said, we have "perpextual problems" that we can not agree on punishing her. I would find his methods too harsh, drill sargeant methods, hardcore, and inconsisent and he finds my methods too flexible(various methods of punishments that FITS the crimes), not strict enough or "looks too easy". His major complaints were that he sees me having an easy time disclipining her, she is more responsive to me and does well when he is not around. He used to say I override his decisions and I figured OK, then YOU figure out how to effectively disclipine dd! Still to this day, he is trying to figure it out.
Can kids benefit both parents having different disclipining styles? There are some punishments we agree on and some we are not.
I've seen parts of the Nanny's programs and I haven't seen ALL of it. I wished I had...I could use some of their methods that would be good for me and have different methods and so forth. I understand dd has her moments, good and bad days. She will try to always please me and make the best efforts even she is on the lowest dose of medications. It is a difficult time for her, I am sure, with the holidays and hustle and bustle of things to do and places to go. She has a big gift of gab...talk non stop even I had to "shush" her in the movies because she gets excited about everything going on and misses half of the movies LOL! I had to remind her to continue to watch the movies quietly, laugh when there are funny scenes, that's ok there but to talk while it is quiet isn't. Good thing her name isn't Abby...Gabby Abby LOL!
I do remember seeing the library book about the Nanny....is it worthwhile reading? I was checking out books about ADD/Asperger's books as well as Love and Logic.
Urbanfarmer, that may work if both of them can agree to it. I will bring it up to hubby and see if it would work if they have some disputes why one should do something. It is something ALL of us have to agree on, not just one or two of us.
