With all due respect, (and Ewe Sheep, since I dont have children with ADHD your situation may be different, so forgive me in advance) I think we are all missing the point here.
Every decision or action (be it child or adult) comes with consequences. Some decision yield GOOD consequences, some yield BAD consequences. As parents, I think our primary responsibility is to raise our children so that they become independent, functioning adults....fully accountable for their decisions.
When children mis-behave, its is our responsibility to discipline. Discipline does NOT mean to punish, but rather it comes from the word DISCIPLE, which has its root meaning in the words "to teach". Sometimes "to teach" involves punishment when all else has failed. In my house we have 2 boys (13 and 17) and each responds differently to different things. The youngest is the one who "tests" us most often and he typically has to be dealt with more severely than my 17 yr old who is a "people pleaser".
While I agree that in this case the daughter "earned" those tickets, it obviously got her attention when some were taken back! Do I agree with it.....I can't say because I wasn't there. Perhaps the duaghter should be told "a consequence for arguing with your father is that you will lose "X #" of tickets. Whatever the case (the discipline) I fully believe that it needs to be severe enough to get a reaction, one that will cause the child to think about it before doing it again.
I'll give you an example of one that worked VERY WELL here. Both of my boys LOVE to hunt and fish. Almost so much so that they would rather hunt/fish than ANYTHING else. Typically, we take a long weekend, after Thanksgiving, and spend 4 days hunting. A trip they both look forward to annually. A few years back, my oldest was caught in a lie concerning a test grade. (Long story, but he was CAUGHT, no way around it). We simply told him that he would not be going on the family hunting trip at Thanksgiving due to his behavior. Was it severe? Probably. BUT, it got his attention and so far, we haven't dealt with the behavior in him again (that we know of anyway). His younger brother ALSO understands that we will not tolerate it. So, it wound up being a learning lesson for them both
I think you and your husband should definitely be on the same page as far as what discipline you choose to use and for what behaviors. Remember Dr J Dobson (Focus on the Family) tells us we have to "chose our battles". Children are gonna test us and we have to determine what behaviors we simply won't tolerate and what behaviors we can overlook.
Wishing you the best
Merry Christmas everyone!
Scott
Every decision or action (be it child or adult) comes with consequences. Some decision yield GOOD consequences, some yield BAD consequences. As parents, I think our primary responsibility is to raise our children so that they become independent, functioning adults....fully accountable for their decisions.
When children mis-behave, its is our responsibility to discipline. Discipline does NOT mean to punish, but rather it comes from the word DISCIPLE, which has its root meaning in the words "to teach". Sometimes "to teach" involves punishment when all else has failed. In my house we have 2 boys (13 and 17) and each responds differently to different things. The youngest is the one who "tests" us most often and he typically has to be dealt with more severely than my 17 yr old who is a "people pleaser".
While I agree that in this case the daughter "earned" those tickets, it obviously got her attention when some were taken back! Do I agree with it.....I can't say because I wasn't there. Perhaps the duaghter should be told "a consequence for arguing with your father is that you will lose "X #" of tickets. Whatever the case (the discipline) I fully believe that it needs to be severe enough to get a reaction, one that will cause the child to think about it before doing it again.
I'll give you an example of one that worked VERY WELL here. Both of my boys LOVE to hunt and fish. Almost so much so that they would rather hunt/fish than ANYTHING else. Typically, we take a long weekend, after Thanksgiving, and spend 4 days hunting. A trip they both look forward to annually. A few years back, my oldest was caught in a lie concerning a test grade. (Long story, but he was CAUGHT, no way around it). We simply told him that he would not be going on the family hunting trip at Thanksgiving due to his behavior. Was it severe? Probably. BUT, it got his attention and so far, we haven't dealt with the behavior in him again (that we know of anyway). His younger brother ALSO understands that we will not tolerate it. So, it wound up being a learning lesson for them both
I think you and your husband should definitely be on the same page as far as what discipline you choose to use and for what behaviors. Remember Dr J Dobson (Focus on the Family) tells us we have to "chose our battles". Children are gonna test us and we have to determine what behaviors we simply won't tolerate and what behaviors we can overlook.
Wishing you the best
Merry Christmas everyone!
Scott
