question about kids today..

[rooster-red]

If one of my children acted that way, I'd kick their butt until their nose bleeds.


'Nuff said.

 

[kodiakchicken]

Quote:

Now that sounds like something MY parents would say!

 

[Julie08]

Quote:
Bravo! well Said!

 

[Verboten]

Is it legal to let a 16 year-old smoke on your property? Maybe you should think about being more assertive (I know that it is hard), politeness can be called off when others are being so rude.

It would be a mistake to group all or most kids together in one group. This kid is obviously bad kid, his parents (all of them) are obviously bad parents (the key word being obvious)- for each one like him there are many times more well behaved kids out there whose proper behavior is harder to notice (I have even noticed some being polite!).

There have always been bad kids. There have always been bad parents
There will always be bad kids. There will always be bad parents.

 

[FrontPorchIndiana]

I would have asked the whole family to leave. It's bad enough we have to put up with behavior like that in public, we certainly don't have to in our own homes.

 

[speckledhen]

Every person has the right to decide what he/she will or will not tolerate in his/her own home. Put your foot down and dont waste any time feeling guilty about it.

 

[agnes_day]

Quote:
its totally illegal, which is why i told her about it...i was just hoping for a policeman to drive by! out here, they will give you a 200 dollar ticket and also a 500 ticket for the parent!
i was going to ask them to leave but my husband wanted to just get it over with and be nice etc which is highly unusual for him i must say.
it wont be happening again though, thats for sure. they already hinted around about christmas but i am telling him that i wont have that sort of thing going on in my house.

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

My mother always said that cursing was a sign of a lack of a sufficient vocabulary. Whenever anyone would curse around her she would look at them disdainfully and start offering adjectives to take the place of the curse.

 

[rebelcowboysnb]

I think kids need both sides. They need an adult that lays down the law an they need an adult that is there friend. You cant be both, it takes help.

I did some mentoring with the Explorers(for kids 14 to 21) an the first thing that has to happen is to figure out what the kids are missing at home.

If the parents are the "friends" kind ya have your work cut out for you. Even though they are looking for a role model, the fact that you have no authority over them makes your only option to lead by example an hope for the best.

If the parents are strict(i love strict parents) you have it made. These kids are looking for a friend. They need an adult that they can trust to not judge them or punish them for there mistakes. Some one who can help them make adult decisions that there not comfortable taking to there parents.

My advice to any parent would be to be the strict parent an find someone else that you an they both can trust to do the adult friend job. Give them the authority to do the job without fear an never ask them to betray your kids trust. This person will save your kids from more than you will ever know!

After 13 years in EMS an more good kid in body bags than I care to remember. I don't hesitate to give my number to every young adult I know with a no questions asked rule. When you get the first 4 AM phone call that says something like this: "I just went to hang out an it got out of hand. Will you come get me, I cant drive" It all makes sence. Almost every kid needs to make this call once in there life an very few will call there parents.


Marlon

By the way, smoking an drinking under parent supervision is legal in some states. I was shocked when some cops told us that a kid (15) that was drunk was with in his rights to be that way as long as he was at home an his parents gave it to him.

 

[Rosalind]

Define "today"...?

My grandparents and great-grandparents smoked, cussed, did various grownup things (not hard drugs, but probably only because they didn't have easy access to any), smoked pot (it was legal at the time, and the local cash crop), got jobs, and got girls in trouble when they were 13 years old. By the time they were 16 they had quite a lot of interesting jobs, were working 12 hour days, had intimate girlfriends/boyfriends (sometimes many), and drank everything that could be put in a glass. And that was not terribly unusual in the late 1800s/early 1900s. My great-grandfather, a real *ahem* gentleman, used to tell his granddaughters about his escapades at the local cathouse, as well as the various ways to leave town in a hurry.

Classay!

My parents thought they were seriously upright and well-behaved individuals because they didn't start smoking until they were 15-ish. My mother was a homely-looking teenager and didn't have a whole lot of boyfriends, but her younger sisters sure did.

In boarding school, the rules were that if your parents let you smoke and you were a certain age limit (15? 16? something like that) you could smoke only in the designated smoking room. There were rules about smoking in front of other people on special occasions--that is, if you were smoking and someone else was present, you were supposed to say, "Miss/Ma'am/Sir, may I offer you a cigarette?" but that was about it. We had to wear uniforms most of the time, or else nice dresses. This was when dinosaurs roamed the earth, so things may have changed since then.

What I am saying is, this has been going on since the dawn of time, there have always been teenagers who are bratty or un-parented. Some of them turn out lousy and some of them turn out OK. Plenty of polite, well-dressed kids grow up to run Enron and Wall Street. It's just life and all you can do is live yours.