Question in Parade Magazine...

[HarlansHollowFarms]

Quote:
Same here, but they're in a file cabinet. We're both open- the only limit is bodily functions, unless it's an emergency! But I knew him, and he knew me very well before we made a commitment to marry for life.

Oddly enough, just this evening, we discussed people posting rather negative info about their partner/spouse online- it won't ever happen here. We talk it out. And NOT on the internet.

I really need to write all ours down....alzheimer's is setting in and there are way to many to remember! My DD has access to all our PWs just in case something happens to us both! It is so good to know you have people you can trust with everything...that includes my DH!

 

[Dunkopf]

I would feel kind of funny. Like looking through Dw's purse trying to find something.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
Its true! I dont think i have ever looked in my husbands wallet... god knows whats in there!

*now i'm going to look!*

 

[gritsar]

Question to me would be why she feels the need to check his emails. Being married doesn't have to mean giving up all privacy, if privacy is something that's important to a person.

I know my DH's passwords, he knows mine. Don't feel any need to check.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
Yep... something more is wrong if she doesnt trust him.
But... i do have to say, if i asked my husband for his passwords and didnt want to give them to me?? HUGE red flag..IMO

 

[punk-a-doodle]

We have each other's passwords and a joint account. That said, for the personal accounts we ask before logging in just as a respect thing. We don't share texts because....we don't have texting. XD I could see a relationship working out fine if both partners wanted their email passwords to stay private. Problems arise when only one does, or if there are any trust issues to begin with. People can always make accounts their partners do not know about, so a relationship will always require strong trust in each other regardless if one shares or not. I've seen overly paranoid partners not trust very trustworthy partners, and then people wonder why they don't trust very untrustworthy partners but ignore that gut feeling.

 

[turney31]

All of ours are the same or shared, nothing to hide.

 

[australorpchick]

I know DH's password, I have to, because I'm the one that setup the account and he never remembers it. He does not have mine, nor do I think he needs to. I actually have three emails, one for work, one for family/close friends and one I can list and end up getting lots of junk mail. We're married, but that doesn't mean we're not entitled to some privacy, nor does it mean we lose our own self identities. There's his life, my life and our life. Most things is our life, but we have our own friends and own interests and activites.

 

[WickedNerd]

You would think that I would have mixed feelings on this whole issue. My ex carried on an affair through email, so I can understand the desire to know the passwords to my boyfriend's online life. It'd be a show of faith. Surprisingly though, I don't need it and I don't know his passwords. I trust him anyway.

Also if we look at the flip side of thing, I write some rather graphic things down in my computer journal and short stories I've written on the desktop that could need a disclaimer if he wanted to see what I was up to. I have to agree with sheaviance1 that trouble could be created over something completely innocent...well not completely innocent, but harmless fictional writings that bear no mark on our relationship. They are just the product of an overactive mind.

Furthermore, I used to have work on my computer too when I worked on the court side of things with the domestic violence shelter. I had to maintain confidentiality about them, so it spreads through my life in other arenas too. Some of the emails my friends send me are very personal and need to be kept in confidence. It doesn't have anything to do with me, personally. They may be going through a difficult time and just need someone to confide in, and they feel safe doing so with me. I delete these emails and conversations regularly, but there may be something sensitive waiting in the inbox if I were to give DL my passwords. I wouldn't be able to share my passwords for that reason. Luckily DL knows this and supports it. After all, I keep his worries and concerns in confidence too.

 

[KristyHall]

everyone should have a little privacy in their lives. If you trust your significant other then you don't need to know their passwords. each person should have their own account and then one main account both contribute to. just because you love your spouse doesn't mean you both can agree on how money is spent. there is often one spouse who is better with money than the other.

I trust DL. I don't snoop in his business. I once offered to give him the pin to my account so he could put gas in my car and he flat refused. he insisted i have my own account unknown to him because he felt it was an invasion of my privacy. he doesn't go through my purse and i don't go through his wallet.

heck if he went to those "shows" I wouldn't care because I trust him not to "touch" He's with me not the ladies in those shows.

I feel if a person can not trust their spouse then that spouse is not worth being with or that counseling is in order. Break my trust and you may never get it back. And I will do everything in my power not to break my DL's trust.