Questions for Setter4 - Cremation - You MUST be respectful!!!

[HennysMom]

wegotchickens: - thats my biggest concern - given its a National "whatever" I do believe you need permission, unless you dont get caught. But if you get caught (for whatever reason...could be someone doesnt like the idea of what you're doing..who knows!) then what are the fines/implications of that?

Hubby and I have discussed this (our 2 fav places are the mountains and the beach) and we've discussed it with our children (mainly the 18 year old, 10 yr old a little young yet we think) but - they also love these 2 areas and have grown up in them. Our thoughts were if they moved away and couldnt make it to our cemetary should we choose to be buried, then if we were up on the drive - they could go up there anytime and "visit" us. If we were at the beach - we'd be in the ocean actually (and some on the shore) - that way in the ocean no matter where they were in the world, we'd be "there" as they all run together in one shape or form.

And yes - you can mix them with cement. We have a company here in VA that does it! Its very neat actually

 

[wegotchickens]

Thanks, HennysMom!

I think if you get caught 'dumping' ashes where you shouldn't then there's a fine involved. I think you're even supposed to fill out special paperwork if you mail/ship them somewhere, since they are human remains.

I've always thought it would be nice to be sprinkled on my rose bushes. DH wants to be dumped in the 'Mighty Mississippi' (his words, he's a Yankee). I told him it would be easier and more practical to dump him in the chicken coop, and then let nature wash his remains to the sea. He was not amused....

But I really like the idea of making a stepping stone, imbedded with representations of things your loved one enjoyed in life. If you're cremated, that is.

The 'green' burial where a tree is planted over the body is a cool idea, though. I've used the same sort of idea with lost pets, planting flowers over them. Then when we move we take the flowers, and therefor the pet, with us...

 

[setter4]

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The scattering garden is all done in the rounded river rock and has lots of plantings, large rocks, etc. Yes, a certain amount of the ashes will eventually blow away. There is nothing closer than about 300 feet except cemetery.

 

[setter4]

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I can not say what your sister may or may not have seen...
I can say that I have NEVER heard of such a thing!
Our retort has held bodies that are 7 ft. tall and ones that weigh in excess of 600 lbs. I can't imagine anyone bigger than that.
People who are very big boned may require a slightly longer time than a smaller person.
There is a book about cremation called Purified By Fire , that's how I think of cremation.

He was a very large man....I dont know the actual weight however but according to my sister he was very very heavy.

So - if I were to be cremated (hubby and I have talked about this) and I wanted to be spread somewhere like in the mountains or in the ocean (gosh, I'm sorry I dont know how else to put it...please forgive me) - are there laws for that? Do I need to get a permit or something?

Most places you can be scattered on private property with the owners permission. You can not be scattered in a public waterway. You can be scattered in a national park if you get permission. There are applications on some of the national park web sites.

 

[setter4]

mom'sfolly :

Thank you for answering all these questions. I think most of the ones I've thought of have already been asked. Would your family consider adding a green burial area to your cemetery?

As a side note, I just got together with a childhood friend. She told me that her father had passed away, which was sad; but then went on to tell me about the send off they did for him. They spread his ashes, from the air, over his favorite hunting area and later had a big beach party where they sent the cremains off in Viking style on a flaming raft. It made me smile, because it was something her dad would have loved, and it would have made him laugh.

My Dad is scattered where he went deer hunting.

 

[setter4]

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Although my Dad is scattered on the mountain where he hunted we placed a small marker on his Mother's grave with his name and dates. We buried an urn that had pictures of us kids and a few small momentos in it.
We return the remains to the funeral home so we never have them left here but the funeral homes do. In fact about 4 years ago we contacted all out funeral directors and told them they could bring any unclaimed cremations to us and we placed them all in 1 vault and buried them in our cemetery. I think there were probably over 100 of them. We have a complete list of all the names and information in the cemetery records in case any one ever comes looking. Some of them had been left for 20 years.

 

[greyfields]

Awesome thread.

One of our dear friends is an embalmer/funeral direction in England. We try to avoid bringing up "work" when chatting.

 

[wegotchickens]

My dad was in the Air Force, and helped rescue his flight trainer from a burning plane. So he didn't want to be cremated because burning was always a big fear of his. But I kind of wish we'd cremated him anyway. Then I could think of him as being in the air, rather than trapped under ground.
I know he really isn't in the molecules that are buried. But what I know and what I feel are 2 different things

 

[setter4]

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This is why we got a marker for my Dad even though he isn't buried under it.

 

[eggchel]

My father's family are all cremated and my mother's family are all buried. My brother didnt want to be buried underground so he is in a mausoleum.

Somehow, after my father's death, I ended up with custody of my uncle's cremains in a lovely sealed marble box. Now what do I do with him? I was young when he died and barely knew him, so we werent close enough that I'd want him on my mantle but I certainly couldnt just toss him out.

A few years ago at an estate auction, I noticed that there were several urns with names on them that were just sitting in boxes full of miscellaneous household junk. How awful to end up as estate sale junk! Of course, I didnt bid on that group of boxes!

I would like to own a piece of land where I can legally have a family cemetery with green burial sites in addition to a mausoleum for remains and cremains.

Chel