***RANT & VENT***

[CMV]

Quote:
Wow!! I was going to post, but this says it all. Were you switched at birth with my current sister?

 

[Mrs. Glassman]

Wow...all these replies so fast. A lot of you out there must know what it's like having to deal with this kind of bull.

On one hand, I feel the need to help him. He is my younger brother, our father was murdered when we were young, and he had to live with our 'mom' who BTW introduced him to drugs.
(mom is in quotes because I have no respect for that woman....long story), he has no education, no personal belongings other than his clothes & that dog. (EVERY THING he loaded the trailer with belonged to the landlord & had to be returned the next day.)

On the other hand...he is going on 34 years old. I grew up in the same house with the same crap going on all the time. I made a decision that I just didn't like my circumstances, and have worked (sometimes 2 jobs) since I was 16 years old, to improve my life and have nice things.

I feel the responsiblity to rescue him, because I'm the only one who got out and did well...not great, just well. And I have always been the one to lend extra money, or buy a buggy full of food for any of my siblings who were in need.

But I am going to have to draw the line at me & my things being disrespected.

Ok....While posting this, My brother woke up from his nap (must be nice).

I pulled him aside and told him that this was something that I was only going to say ONCE....

And I told him that I love him, but hate his dog. And if I catch it off the chain just one more time, I was going to plot to kill it in a horrible fashion. I explained what it was doing, & all.

He hung his head & said, "But it's all I have." & went out side.

SEE it freaking makes me SAD. Dang It!!

Only time will tell what happens next. He knows my Daddy raised me. He knows I'll rise to the task if it's nessasary.

I am at my wit's end here. My house is a peaceful non-drama house.

Thanks for all the hugs & advise. It's all welcome.

 

[Wolf-Kim]

He's playing you.


It is simple as that. If he can't care for himself, he SHOULDN'T have a dog. Don't let his pitiful guilt trips change your decision. He is controlling YOU. REALLY! He KNOWS you feel sorry for him, and he is taking CONSCIOUS advantage of it. He knows JUST what to say, to get the reaction out of you that HE wants.

If he doesn't want to work, either for you or an employer and if he doesn't want to pay rent; kick him out. There are shelters out there and they can put up with his crap. He is living it up and using you to do it. A free roof over your head? Free food? Free air conditioning and heat? No!

My husband and I are both living in his parent's house. Not something I am proud of, but we are both attending college full time and he works part time. But, I bust my butt cleaning the house, taking care of my brother-in-laws(10 & 13 ), mowing the lawn, tending the garden, feeding and washing the animals, laundry, cooking, and WHATEVER else they ask me to do! I don't sit around and live it up as though it is MY house. I respect there rules and they are allowing us to stay until their son(full time college student, part time employee) finishes his 2 year degree and gets a job.

That is RIDICULOUS! Have animal control come get the dog, if he won't tie it out. Give your brother a DATE, tell him that he has a MONTH to get his own place before you kick him out. If he doesn't start helping out and respecting YOU and YOUR hardearned living then he has to leave NOW.

He's not a boy, he is an adult. He is responsible for HIMSELF, you are not responsible for him. Little brother or not. HE is only a victim of the circumstance HE has created for HIMSELF.

-Kim

 

[Rolsjo]

It is a very sad, and difficult situation you are in. I understand that you want to help him, but is this the best way?

He is an adult and needs to start acting like one. If his dog is "all he has" then he needs to "man-up" and do what MUST be done to take proper care of it. He should not use the dog as an excuse to take advantage of you.

You are a great sister, but just be careful that you don't take TOO much care of him. I realize he never had a mom, but it's too late for that now. It's not a role you should be required to fill.

I wish you the best and hope that your brother pulls himself together. He is still young enough to have a good life if he chooses to.

 

[france]

Next time the dog is off the chain take it to a no kill shelter.
Tell brother to pay up or start working off rent.
You are not doing him any favors by letting him get away with this.

 

[Judy]

It's called tough love.

 

[b.hromada]

Quote:
I agree. I wouldn't hurt the dog, its not its fault, just take it to a no kill, or if there isn't any, any animal control facility. Thats just to bad for your brother. Heck, hes, what did you say, like 34! Tell him to get with the program buddy, you've had enough. I know he's your brother, hes blood to you and all, but you've got to look out for your family. Keep on bailing him out will not help him anymore, he needs help, professional help. I feel so bad for you, when I read what you've posted, I can feel the pain your in. Now's the time to look out for yourself and yours, your family, thats whats important. Best of luck in what ever decision you make.

 

[enola]

My dad died when I was 9, he left my mother with 7 children, all of them younger than me.

Me, I graduated, married a drug addict/alcoholic, had a child, left him, straightened my life out got remarried, raised 4 kids

My sister, graduated, has been married twice (still is married), raised her child, works hard for a living, raises and shows chickens, BYC member

My brother, excelled in track, graduated, had one job that he kept until he died of cancer 2 summers ago

Next brother, graduated, has sold insurance his whole life, married, divorced, raised 3 sons

Next brother, graduated, joined the service, married, raised her child, who is now in the service

Next brother, graduated, went through college, works for NASA as a civilian, married twice (first wife died of cancer), is still married, is raising 2 sons

Baby sister, graduated, went through college, taught science in high school, married, divorced is raising her son

ALL of us stayed out of jail, NONE of us used food stamps, NONE of us used sickness, divorces, deaths or other circumstances to fall by the wayside......

SO, SOME HOW HE NEEDS TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GROW UP AND STOP DEPENDING ON HIS SISTER WHO LOVES HIM TO TAKE CARE OF HIM !

I know exactly how you feel, but, you are enabling him ! You will be in my prayers until you let us all know the situation has improved.

 

[mxpres]

sounds like brother is in control of your household and will continue to be untill you kick his sorry deadbeat butt out in the street and kick his dog out behind him,you can,t help someone that refuses to help themselves,,tough?maybe,,but true

 

[KLH2010]

Looks like you've gotten some good advice! I think everyone wants to do all they can for family but sometimes enabling them to continue irresponsible behavior is not helping at all. As far as the dog, the no-kill shelter sounds like a great idea.