While some Silkies can be born with 4 toes, that looks like it may have been a cross breed.
Gosh, I don't think you need to harden your heart and that would just be even sadder! There's a problem with people who feel nothing.
I also volunteered at a wildlife rehab center. It was hard work! And yes not all make it. I wasn't sure how I would react when someone passes. Eventually it became essentially I acknowledge what happened, feel my sadness and discomfort. But understand that not a single one of us is gonna live forever. And this is part of the circle of life. Ugh, I probably won't forget handling dead baby chicks (the sexed males from hatcheries) in order to feed them out. The first time I had to cut one into smaller chunks was the first time I realized that the yolk in fact does NOT become the chick and is instead absorbed into the belly.
It's completely OK to cry, regardless of your age. That is one way that our human brain releases chemicals known as endorphin's in order to help us get over things and be able to move forward. After our first processing day, I cried because my 17 year old daughter took it better than me and DID her part! I cried because I was so proud of her. I'm early 40's and my hubby does NOT participate in culling. He can't handle it... Well, I've seen too many chicken factory videos... and I cannot handle the idea of eating something that was handled and treated so atrociously. No thank you on eating anything that floated down the chlorine blood river!
Now anybody who says oh I could never eat my chicken, I secretly cringe inside about the chicken they DO eat. That they somehow don't have any emotional attachment to, as if it was never alive.
Even with a bachelor pad, not all roos will get along whether they were raised together or not. Dynamics often dictate who stays or goes... into the freezer.
If our boys have enough personality to earn names they still get them even if I know they will be heading to freezer camp in the future. They might even get labeled with their name and referred to in whatever dish we are making like... Ditto and dumplings or High Tower enchiladas. We are aware of where our food comes from. They live a really good life and have one quick bad moment. No more fear than what is standard for a chicken who doesn't want to be caught. No need to be callous or distance myself. I remain calm and know that I'm not killing out of vengeance but out of need to eat. And any other omnivorous animal will also. I make it a quick, painless, and drama free as possible. It took a VERY long time of talking openly with my family before getting to this point. I have since decided to pay someone else to "do the deed", because I can afford to and it's still done humanely. However having the skill up my sleeve has proven immensely useful in chicken rearing when it comes to injury or disease. Without the previous experience that would be a nightmare. If it appears as though someone will not make it... they don't have to die slowly, I can help them out of their pain. Again, I don't enjoy it... but I live with it as part of hatching. I knew going in if I can't do it, then I cannot hatch. Of course that doesn't help when people who don't hatch get oops gendered chicks from feed stores or hatcheries. But now I'm equipped to deal with that to. Not to pretend as though it doesn't bother me. It does, but I'm OK with my place in the circle of life. If it wasn't illegal... I just assume have my family toss me out when I pass and let the other animals have their meal or become compost for the ground. Pass on all the embalming chemicals and stuff going into the land or a casket waiting for an earth quake to push up.
Hopefully if they do get to go to the petting zoo, they won't become the little demons I mention. Otherwise, their fate could still be the same and you just might not know it. All are individuals though so hope they turn out awesome!
