REMINDER to parents of young ones...

when i was in jr. high we got a computer with dial up internet LOL. i was not allowed to go into chatrooms or anything. i couldn't have an aol screen name till i was in high school and even then i only went into chatrooms with my big brother. we would go tell jokes LOL. i met a boy in a chat room and we got to talking. he lived like 2 hours away. my parents agreed to take me to meet him and his parents. i was kinda upset that he looked totally different in person than in his pictures. that being said i have mixed feelings about internet dating. my brother met his wife in an aol chatroom. they were married 3 months later. that was the dumbest thing he's done.. and he even put his knee through a spinkler LOL. the first time i tried internet dating again, a friend and i went to the yardhouse to get a few drinks.. he said he'd meet us there. 3 hours later he shows up, gets his own table then isn't even gentlemen enough to come get us. we left. then he text me an hour after we left and said where are you? i said at home with my pjs on watching a movie. he said wow that was rude. i said nope you were rude now lose my number. the second time i tried i posted my story about how he asked me to pay for half the date, knowing that i am unemployed. then tried to take a nap on my couch at 2:30 am! NOPE i am not stupid. i made him leave. i told him to lose my number too. i think there is a reason why some people try internet dating. i give up on it.
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but my parents always monitered. i'm 22 and my mom still does! she has a facebook too and reads all my posts and stuff. even if my family wasn't on facebook, i still couldn't post risky pics of myself like some teenage girls do. some are asking to be raped. it's sad really. i wish those moms would moniter their children more cuz it's sad. did anyone ever watch to catch a preditor? i loved that show. the men were so dumn founded and it scared me too!!
 
Let me apologize in advance for the length of this post. I feel that it's quite important information.

Considering that I, quite some time ago in my early 20's, and friends recently, have "fallen in love" online without ever actually meeting the person face to face, there has to be a way to communicate to today's youth how risky online interaction can be. It's very easy to put up whatever facade one chooses. In my early 20's, I "met" a guy in a CompuServe international chatroom where I was a communication hostess. He lived in England. We hit it off, and he spent hours upon hours chatting with me in the chatroom, and then later calling me on the phone. We eventually said we were in love and he intended to move here and marry me. He set up a trip where he could spend a week with me, and then he was going to get his things in order to return permanently. He did end up visiting, and it went well in some respects, but not others. After he returned to England, he stopped communicating with me, other than to say he was sorry and couldn't be what I wanted. To make a long story shorter, I wasn't "rich" enough for him and he decided to move in with a girl in California instead. That part was found out when his common-law wife called me. She found my number through his work records and called to confront me. She didn't even know he had visited me for the week, or that he had dumped me. I found out that the children I kept hearing on the phone weren't his niece and nephew, but his own children. I had given him "points" because he "babysat" his "sister's children" quite often, and thought he would be a good father because of it. Little did I know until everything was brought to light.

Additionally, I am a member of another board similar to this, but which originated on the original American Idol messageboard and then spun off from there. We've been together, in one form or another, for almost 9 years. Currently, we have a private website and the group has dwindled to about two dozen people who would be considered "regulars." Even if we don't always like each other, we are a tight group and know each other pretty well. I mention this because recently a shocking thing happened. Some of us have met others in person, but the majority of us have either talked on webcam, or most often talked by phone. Well, one of our longstanding members who was always posting, texting, emailing, and talking to people via webcam or phone was revealed to not be who we thought he was. We thought he was a mid-20's, single guy who was in college, who had a job and all the normal things that go with that time of one's life. He was going to make a big move to another state to return to college to pursue another career. Pretty normal stuff. Surprising, but not shocking because he was quick-witted, sarcastic and handsome, no less than 3 of our female members had long-term, long distance, online love affairs with him. (I didn't know about the affairs, as they were kept secret from most everyone.)

Imagine if you will, "knowing" someone here for almost 9 years. Talking to them on the phone. Interacting with them via webcam, but not being able to see them because they don't have a webcam - but they can see you. Laughing, crying, supporting, playing with them. You know who they are. Until you don't.

This man who we knew, was actually a female - younger than "him" by a few years. She did live in the state and towns that she claimed he did, but other than that, and her supposedly moving to the new state, pretty much everything else was make believe. She went so far as to use a voice changer on the phone to disguise herself, (blaming the bad sound on a phone to help with a hearing disability that we all believed he had,) and she kept up the act for almost 9 years. It finally fell apart because "his" current love affair interest was insisting on seeing him in person, and then he accidentally posted a picture showing "him" wearing a wedding ring. The people on that board are amazing sleuths, and they were able to get to the truth that it was all a charade. When found out and confronted, after trying to lie her way out of it, she finally confessed and apologized to everyone. She left the board and deleted the fake myspace and facebook accounts that she had created to go with the ruse. (Or either she blocked everyone who could see those pages.) We were all devastated because "he" was a core member of the group since the beginning. It's very difficult to know how to mourn the loss of someone who didn't even exist.

I've been doing the internet chatroom/messageboard thing for around 16 years now, and thought I had seen it all. I thought I could spot a fake, since I had been taken by some in the past. But this blew me away. Please continue to educate your children about internet predators and fakes. *No one* is real until you spend a lot of time in person with them. Anything can be faked, including pictures, and even voices! I hope that my stories here shed some personal light as to what can happen online. Never give out your exact location, only give your telephone number and full name to trusted people, and if you do meet someone, try to make it in a public place. Absolutely let someone know where you will be going, and give them, in writing, all the contact information for the person you'll be meeting, including home address, telephone number, and the time, date and location of where you're going. It's easier now to look up someone online, but as you see, a lot of that can be faked. We, as adults, know to be more cautious. A hormonal teen or pre-teen might just be too taken with someone who charms them to realize the danger. It's a really good thing that y'all are educating early. Keep up the good work.
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Edited to add: Although my forays into internet dating haven't produced a lasting relationship as of yet, one of my cousins has been married 5 years to a girl he met online. It can work, but it takes a lot of weeding out the good from the bad. lol
 
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Steven got very lucky with that one... yikes...
I hope he has proof that she said that shes 17??....
Just in case the police want to follow up on it... ugh...
 
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Don't worry everyone, I am a young girl watching appropriate T.V shows. Yup, Noggin/Nick Jr. is what I watch when I watch T.V. LOL I don't really like watching T.V, but I do like Little Bill, Ni-Hao Kai-lan, and Pinky Dinky Doo. Oh, I love that show! Down, Down turn around, having fun is what it's all abouuuut....
 
We have a simple rule here..
If you lie and sneak around my rules.. then things get tough for you. And it was ALL your doing....YOUR bad choice that got you put on restrictions. Its important to let them know that THEY made the CHOICE to be sneaky..hence its THEIR problem that they have no internet access and cell phone anymore and no hanging out with their friends...... AND they need to figure out a way to fix it... (hint: By following the rules..maybe??..),
When i put my kids on restrictions..i dont set a set time for them to "get off" restrictions... its something that they have to earn back... trust isnt just given back freely once you break it... My kids have to realize what they did... and when they feel that they are ready they need to sit down with me and TELL me what they did wrong and how they are going to "fix/change" it..and i need to SEE those changes... this can take many,many weeks, even months, before a child "gets it".... it all depends on the child. And i'm more than willing to wait them out....
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See..it makes THEM responsible for their behavior...it makes THEM think...
I dont "compromise" with them about rules... kids need to learn that rules are in place for a reason.(usually for their safety)... they need to also know that in real life people dont "compromise" with you.... if your boss tells you to be at work for 6 am..then there is NO compromise...you dont show up..you lose the job..period.
These are all important things that teens need to learn NOW... before they do get in the real world. And yes, respect for rules is a major one that they need to learn! OR they WILL struggle their whole lives with it... going from job to job..its always the bosses fault why they were fired...blah..blah..... *you know the kind of people that i'm talking about..*
If my rule is NO Face Book acct....then thats what it is..period. If i catch you on FB..then you have no internet access in my house and you also have no free/unsupevised time with your friends either. Because you simply cant be trusted. Trust is very important to me...And SO many teens need to learn the value of that word...
And its your job as a parent to teach them it.
Is my strict way perfect?? Nope, not at all! I dont think that any certain way ALWAYS works for EVERY kid... but at least i dont just give up and give in... i keep trying to do whats right for them.
 
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x2!! Now if I could just get BOTH sets of grandparents to understand this reasoning while she is in their care....
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The ones she is currently with is totally got the grip on her right now, now that he understands how she can be...the others...may never 'get it.' SIGH.
 
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I second that emotion Cindi. You're very lucky that your child understands she did wrong and accepts her due.... (not like the one who's suing his mother for violating his rights...) her reaction tells so so much about what kind of parent you are... A GOOD ONE that teaches personal responsibility. Well Done!
 
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I second that emotion Cindi. You're very lucky that your child understands she did wrong and accepts her due.... (not like the one who's suing his mother for violating his rights...) her reaction tells so so much about what kind of parent you are... A GOOD ONE that teaches personal responsibility. Well Done!

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Thanks PineappleMama! I hope she stays that way...other DD used to 'get it' when she got in trouble, but once she hit 15 it got A LOT tougher, and she was never wrong again...lol! Hormones are hard to fight against! I dread it with this one, she's a fireball anyway! Ya'll pray for me...
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Thumbs up for this book. I was nagged my DD about her and her friends FB accounts (I insisted on "friending" both of them) and have politely suggested certain postings be removed. The book scared the poopus out of the DD so much she is insisting (no, demanding) her friends read the book ASAP.
 

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