Rude Teenage DS

[zzGypsy]

Quote:
who you "are" changes over time. you have choices, the decisions are not cast in stone.

think this stuff over, decide who you want to be in the future.

if it was all "just who I am" there'd be no point in going to college... you have stuff to learn for your career, you have stuff to learn for how to live a life and in your relationships too.

I am not who I was at 15 (thank god!) or at 20 or at 40... some things are still true, but others have changed. I have many more skills, emotional and mental, than I did when I was 15 or 20 or 40.

you have room to grow, time to change. you are not fully made at 17 or 18, you are just beginning.

you want to be independent, to be in charge of your life - then do so. start by making some choices about how you treat people, especially people you live with and love. be in charge of that. in the long run, that will pay you better than anything you could possibly learn in college.

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

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Who you are is your choice and it is not carved in stone. You can change. YOU get to pick what kind of person you will be. If you are happy with who you are, then so be it. You will get to deal with the repercussions of your attitude and behaviour. Maturing means dealing with things that you don't like though. Maturing also means changing who you are into a better person. A more respectful person. A person who makes things around him or her better. We do not come into this world perfect. The goal is to improve every single day along the path.

People who say "This is who I am. Deal with it." are generally obnoxious people who are trying to excuse their wretched behaviour. The people in my world that I have the most respect for are quick to help others and quick to lower themselves to lift others up. Those are the kinds of people who leave a legacy of love and kindness in their wake.

The question you should be asking is are your parents going to be happy or sad when you move out of their house?

 

[zzGypsy]

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Holly, take note of this.
this is what your parents are going through.

 

[lotzahenz]

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Lord have mercy, I cried alot over them. Many days there are times when I regret having kids and heart ache does not end. Even now that they are grown and when they hurt you hurt. You want the best for them but they have their own ideas. For some reason no matter how well a life they have at home, seems they all think their parents are the worst. For some reason they see parents as the enemy and not the one who gives advice because we love them the most and have nothing to gain, except the joy of seeing them happy. Such is life.

I used to have a tag, "Every teenager should get out and make their way in the world while they still know everything".

"Every mother of teenagers knows why animals eat their young".

I wish you well,

Rancher

Excellent Quote Rancher. I too have regrets at times, and of course would do it all over again, but maybe different, maybe not. My DS is still causing me to have High B/P and lost sleep, he is 19. My daughter when she was 15 went to "Sleep away school" as we called boarding school and it made a world of difference in her life. I think maybe all children should spend a year or two in a school like that while in High School. They had strict rules and lots of love, just like home, but somehow they accepted it better there. They taught her a lot. I like Dr. PHil's saying "Find their currency and use it" I have taken my DS's door off the hinges, cleared out his "toys" and made him earn them back. I understand they do get better, later on in life, and I am hoping this is true. I refuse to bail any of them out, ever. I will listen, but if they get into trouble, they can get out of trouble. I am currently reading a good book called "The Seven Worst Things a Parent Can Do" so far it has some great advice. I needed it 12 years ago when it was first published. BUT, we do the best we can do, and sometimes that is all we can do. OP, you are definitely NOT alone.

 

[yomama]

Lord have mercy, I cried alot over them. Many days there are times when I regret having kids and heart ache does not end. Even now that they are grown and when they hurt you hurt. You want the best for them but they have their own ideas. For some reason no matter how well a life they have at home, seems they all think their parents are the worst. For some reason they see parents as the enemy and not the one who gives advice because we love them the most and have nothing to gain, except the joy of seeing them happy. Such is life.

I used to have a tag, "Every teenager should get out and make their way in the world while they still know everything".

"Every mother of teenagers knows why animals eat their young".

I wish you well,

Rancher

I feel the same way. My girls aren't grown yet, in fact my oldest is a "tween", but some of the issues we've gone through with my oldest, rival that of dealing with a teen. There are many times where I wish I had never had kids. Of course my kids will never hear those words out of my mouth. My mom said similiar things to me, and let me tell you, that stays with you all your life. I really never thought raising kids would be this hard.

The emotional toll is overwhelming at times. I'm finding consistancy is the key too, but kind of hard to maintain. I'm getting better, though. I'm pretty anxious as the girls get older about how things will go. It's very true that when they hurt, you hurt. You just want to see them happy, and sometimes the universe doesn't always see it that way. I try to remind myself that this is only a short time compared to their life as a whole. It's amazing the things I'm starting to remember, as my daughter starts to face certain obstacles.I'm remembering the way I would feel if my mom said a certain thing, or how I felt when friends were mean at school. I don't enjoy having those feelings drudged up, but at least it allows me to be a little more empathetic to my daughter's emotions. I just really try to be there for her, and give her the best advice I can and hope she makes good decisions. I have found that sometimes if I just listen without judging(which can be very hard for me)she tends to come to me more often. There are many times where I really don't feel like listening to her latest problem. Not that I don't care, just that I'm emotionally tapped out at times. I try really hard not to let on about that, though, so that she knows that I am always there to listen to her. I am really dreading the days where she really truely feels I'm the enemy. I can only hope that she still feels she can always come to me.​

 

[ForestOwl]

Quote:
Holly, take note of this.
this is what your parents are going through.

wow that is rude......

While you can make a guess from what she has posted it seems un-needed to say it if you can't say anything nice....


anyway.......to the OP I would NEVER curse at my parents and he prolly deserves a good dropkick

but from being a teen not to long ago I have no idea what it's like to raise a teen but from working in the public, I can say what your going through seems to be becoming an unfortunate trend

 

[zzGypsy]

Quote:
Holly, take note of this.
this is what your parents are going through.

wow that is rude......

While you can make a guess from what she has posted it seems un-needed to say it if you can't say anything nice....

did you take the time to read my other posts?
it's not about rude, or about saying something nice, it's about getting to the point. when people are at war in their own household with their own children, if they care at all they are crying over them, and they have heartache every day. no doubt Holly does too. I just don't think, based on what she's said, that she's seeing their side of it, or their pain.

sometimes seeing the pain on the other side of the fight can bring an awareness that changes everything.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
wow that is rude......

While you can make a guess from what she has posted it seems un-needed to say it if you can't say anything nice....

did you take the time to read my other posts?
it's not about rude, or about saying something nice, it's about getting to the point. when people are at war in their own household with their own children, if they care at all they are crying over them, and they have heartache every day. no doubt Holly does too. I just don't think, based on what she's said, that she's seeing their side of it, or their pain.

sometimes seeing the pain on the other side of the fight can bring an awareness that changes everything.

I agree.. it wasnt rude at all..
Just honest.

 

[HollyBird24]

Quote:
Holly, take note of this.
this is what your parents are going through.

wow that is rude......

While you can make a guess from what she has posted it seems un-needed to say it if you can't say anything nice....


anyway.......to the OP I would NEVER curse at my parents and he prolly deserves a good dropkick

but from being a teen not to long ago I have no idea what it's like to raise a teen but from working in the public, I can say what your going through seems to be becoming an unfortunate trend

Its fine, I would rather they be honest... no matter how rude it may come across.

Are you saying that I deserve a good dropkick?

 

[ForestOwl]

I did read the other posts, I went back before my edit, basically you told her that her parents regret having her, or at least most likely do, while that very well may be true it seems wrong to just say it, and if you feel she is a spoiled brat, then you posting answers to her posts is enabling her giving her the attention she wants since she seems to be answering all of them...and really how do you think you can help her on a message board when her parents and others (most likely) can't?

ETA To Holly NO I meant the op's son... not you