>>> The rules of rural Ohio are as follows:
>>>
>>> 1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
>>>
>>> 2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.
>>>
>>> 3. Let's get this straight; it's called a 'dirt' road. I drive a pickup
>>> truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to
>>> get
>>> dust on your Lexus.
>>> Drive it or get out of the way.
>>>
>>> 4. They are cattle. They're 'live' steaks. That's why they smell funny
>>> to
>>> you.
>>> They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I 70 or Rt 30
>>> goes
>>> east or west. Pick one.
>>>
>>> 5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $150,000 corn
>>> pickers
>>> and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
>>>
>>> 6. So everyone in Ohio waves. It's called being friendly. Try to
>>> understand
>>> the concept.
>>>
>>> 7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming
>>> in,
>>> we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up
>>> to
>>> your ear at the time.
>>>
>>> 8. Yeah, we eat perch and crappies. You really want sushi & caviar? It's
>>> available at the corner bait shop.
>>>
>>> 9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious
>>> holiday held the first Monday after Thanksgiving.
>>>
>>> 10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of
>>> age.
>>>
>>> 11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak. Or you
>>> can
>>> order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.
>>>
>>> 12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
>>> vegetables, and breads. We use three spices:
>>> salt, pepper, and ketchup. Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in
>>> the
>>> city call that stuff you eat...
>>> IT AIN'T REAL!!!
>>>
>>> 13. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served
>>> over
>>> ice.
>>>
>>> 14. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to
>>> shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
>>>
>>> 15. High School Basketball and Football are as important here as the
>>> Lakers
>>> and the Knicks, and a lot more fun to watch.
>>>
>>> 16. Yeah, we have golf courses. Former dairy pastures, with cow paths...
>>> deal with it.
>>>
>>> 17. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities,
>>> Community
>>> Colleges, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an education plus a
>>> love
>>> for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come for
>>> the holidays.
>>>
>>> 18. We have a whole ton of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and
>>> Marines
>>> So don't mess with us. If you
>>> do, you will get whipped by the best.
>>>
>>> 19. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap isn't
>>> music
>>> anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your
>>> boxers.
>>> Refer back to #1.
>>>
>>> 20. 4 inches isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive like you got some
>>> sense
>>> in it. And DON'T take all our bread, milk, and batteries from the
>>> grocery
>>> store. This isn't Alaska , worst case you may have to live a whole day
>>> without croissants. The pickups with snow blades will have you out the
>>> next
>>> day. A true Ohioan will send this on!!!
>>>
>>>
>>> 1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
>>>
>>> 2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.
>>>
>>> 3. Let's get this straight; it's called a 'dirt' road. I drive a pickup
>>> truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to
>>> get
>>> dust on your Lexus.
>>> Drive it or get out of the way.
>>>
>>> 4. They are cattle. They're 'live' steaks. That's why they smell funny
>>> to
>>> you.
>>> They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I 70 or Rt 30
>>> goes
>>> east or west. Pick one.
>>>
>>> 5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $150,000 corn
>>> pickers
>>> and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
>>>
>>> 6. So everyone in Ohio waves. It's called being friendly. Try to
>>> understand
>>> the concept.
>>>
>>> 7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming
>>> in,
>>> we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up
>>> to
>>> your ear at the time.
>>>
>>> 8. Yeah, we eat perch and crappies. You really want sushi & caviar? It's
>>> available at the corner bait shop.
>>>
>>> 9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious
>>> holiday held the first Monday after Thanksgiving.
>>>
>>> 10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of
>>> age.
>>>
>>> 11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak. Or you
>>> can
>>> order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.
>>>
>>> 12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
>>> vegetables, and breads. We use three spices:
>>> salt, pepper, and ketchup. Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in
>>> the
>>> city call that stuff you eat...
>>> IT AIN'T REAL!!!
>>>
>>> 13. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served
>>> over
>>> ice.
>>>
>>> 14. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to
>>> shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
>>>
>>> 15. High School Basketball and Football are as important here as the
>>> Lakers
>>> and the Knicks, and a lot more fun to watch.
>>>
>>> 16. Yeah, we have golf courses. Former dairy pastures, with cow paths...
>>> deal with it.
>>>
>>> 17. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities,
>>> Community
>>> Colleges, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an education plus a
>>> love
>>> for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come for
>>> the holidays.
>>>
>>> 18. We have a whole ton of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and
>>> Marines
>>> So don't mess with us. If you
>>> do, you will get whipped by the best.
>>>
>>> 19. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap isn't
>>> music
>>> anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your
>>> boxers.
>>> Refer back to #1.
>>>
>>> 20. 4 inches isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive like you got some
>>> sense
>>> in it. And DON'T take all our bread, milk, and batteries from the
>>> grocery
>>> store. This isn't Alaska , worst case you may have to live a whole day
>>> without croissants. The pickups with snow blades will have you out the
>>> next
>>> day. A true Ohioan will send this on!!!
>>>
