RULES OF RURAL PENNSYLVANIA...[MORE]

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by ams3651, Dec 28, 2008.

  1. ams3651

    ams3651 Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jan 23, 2008
    NE PA
    THE RULES OF RURAL PENNSYLVANIA ARE AS FOLLOWS:
    LISTEN UP CITY SLICKERS!!!!

    1. PULL YOUR DROOPY PANTS UP. YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT.

    2. TURN YOUR CAP RIGHT, YOUR HEAD ISN'T CROOKED.

    3. LET'S GET THIS STRAIGHT; IT'S CALLED A 'DIRT ROAD.' NO MATTER HOW SLOW YOU DRIVE, YOU'RE GOING TO GET DUST ON YOUR LEXUS. DRIVE IT OR GET OUT OF THE WAY.

    4. THEY ARE CATTLE. THEY'RE LIVE STEAKS. THAT'S WHY THEY SMELL FUNNY TO YOU, GET OVER IT. DON'T LIKE IT? I-80 GOES EAST AND WEST, I-79 GOES NORTH AND SOUTH. PICK ONE.

    5. SO YOU HAVE A $60,000 CAR. WE'RE IMPRESSED. WE HAVE $150,000 CORN PICKERS AND HAY BALERS THAT ARE DRIVEN ONLY 3 WEEKS A YEAR.

    6. SO EVERY PERSON IN RURAL PENNSYLVANIA WAVES. WE THINK
    OF IT AS BEING FRIENDLY. TRY TO UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT.

    7. IF THAT CELL PHONE RINGS WHILE AN 8-POINT BUCK AND 3 DOES ARE COMING IN, WE WILL SHOOT IT OUT OF YOUR HAND. YOU BETTER HOPE YOU DON'T HAVE IT UP TO YOUR EAR AT THE TIME.

    8. YEAH, WE EAT TATERS & GRAVY, BEANS & CORNBREAD. WE FRY OUR FISH AFTER 'CATCH IN' 'EM'. YOU REALLY WANT SUSHI & CAVIAR? IT'S AVAILABLE AT THE CORNER BAIT SHOP.

    9. THE 'OPENER' REFERS TO THE FIRST DAY OF DEER SEASON. IT'S A RELIGIOUS
    HOLIDAY HELD ON THE MONDAY AFTER THANKSGIVING.

    10. WE OPEN DOORS FOR WOMEN. THAT IS APPLIED TO ALL WOMEN, REGARDLESS OF AGE.

    11. NO, THERE'S NO 'VEGETARIAN SPECIAL' ON THE MENU. ORDER STEAK. OR YOU CAN ORDER THE CHEF'S SALAD AND PICK OFF THE 2 POUNDS OF HAM & TURKEY.

    12. WHEN WE FILL OUT A TABLE, THERE ARE THREE MAIN DISHES: MEATS (INCLUDES FISH), VEGETABLES, AND BREADS. WE USE FOUR SPICES: SALT, PEPPER, HOT SAUCE AND KETCHUP. OH, YEAH...WE DON'T CARE WHAT YOU FOLKS IN JERSEY CALL THAT STUFF YOU EAT...IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!!!

    13. YOU BRING 'COKE' INTO MY HOUSE, IT BETTER BE BROWN, WET AND SERVED OVER ICE.


    14. YOU BRING 'MARY JANE' INTO MY HOUSE, SHE BETTER BE CUTE, KNOW HOW TO SHOOT, AND HAVE LONG HAIR.

    15. COLLEGE AND HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL IS AS IMPORTANT HERE
    AS THE EAGLES AND THE STEELERS, AND A DANG SITE MORE FUN TO WATCH.

    16. YEAH, WE HAVE GOLF COURSES. BUT DON'T HIT THE WATER HAZARDS---IT SPOOKS THE FISH.


    17. COLLEGES? WE HAVE THEM ALL OVER. WE HAVE STATE UNIVERSITIES, COMMUNITY COLLEGES, AND VO-TECHS. THEY COME OUTTA THERE WITH AN EDUCATION PLUS A LOVE FOR GOD AND COUNTRY, AND THEY STILL WAVE AT EVERYBODY WHEN THEY COME FOR THE HOLIDAYS.

    18. WE HAVE A WHOLE TON OF FOLKS IN THE ARMY, NAVY, AIR FORCE, AND
    MARINES. SO DON'T MESS WITH US. IF YOU DO, YOU WILL GET WHIPPED BY THE BEST.


    19. TURN DOWN THAT BLASTED CAR STEREO! THAT THUMPITY-THUMP CRAP AIN'T MUSIC, ANYWAY. WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE THAN WE WANT TO SEE YOUR BOXERS. REFER
    BACK TO #1.

    20. 4 INCHES ISN'T A BLIZZARD-IT'S A FLURRY. DRIVE LIKE YOU GOT
    SOME SENSE IN IT, AND DON'T TAKE ALL OUR BREAD, MILK, AND TOILET PAPER FROM THE GROCERY STORES. THIS AIN'T ALASKA , WORST CASE YOU MAY HAVE TO LIVE A WHOLE DAY WITHOUT CROISSANTS. THE PICKUPS WITH SNOW BLADES WILL HAVE YOU OUT THE NEXT DAY.
     
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2009
  2. SunAngel

    SunAngel Chillin' With My Peeps

    May 20, 2008
    Chambersburg, Pa.
    Haha, I am sitting here eating the ham & beans and cornbread I made for dinner...no joke [​IMG]

    Those are all so true, thanks for the giggles!!
     
    Last edited: Dec 28, 2008
  3. redsgr

    redsgr Out Of The Brooder

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    Aug 7, 2008
    Central Pennsylvania
    So true, it is funny.
     
  4. rooster-red

    rooster-red Here comes the Rooster

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    Douglasville GA
    Much like the rules in GA. [​IMG]
     
  5. redsgr

    redsgr Out Of The Brooder

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    Aug 7, 2008
    Central Pennsylvania
    I thought I would see something 'bout the artic temps in PA!

    ......it is probably much like the rules in most rural places. Just like we fit into a some of the redneck jokes.

    ~~~I feel no shame. I'm proud of where I came from. I was born and rised in the Boondocks~~~[​IMG]
     
  6. Lothiriel

    Lothiriel Overrun With Chickens Premium Member

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    New York State
    My Coop
    LOL I loved those!!! [​IMG] I wish they were true here in NY.... [​IMG]
     
  7. Mojo Chick'n

    Mojo Chick'n Empress of Chickenville

    I love number 5 - next time someone from up north thinks Kentucky is peopled by "slackjawed, dirty, lazy, poor white trash" I'll have to whip that one out for them.

    [​IMG]
    thanks for the giggle -

    meri
     
  8. cottagegarden

    cottagegarden Eggistentialist

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    Oct 2, 2008
    SE PA
    Central Pa gal here transplanted to not so rural SE Pa -you made me homesick.
    Thanks for posting will be passing that along to some folks for giggles~~
     
  9. spookyevilone

    spookyevilone Crazy Quail Lady

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    Oct 5, 2008
    Minneapolis
    21. YEAH, WE GOT AMISH PEOPLE IN BUGGIES ON THE ROADS. IF YOUR CAR CAN GO FASTER THAN A WALKING HORSE, DRIVE AROUND 'EM.

    22. THOSE FREAKS IN RENAISSANCE CLOTHING ARE TOURISTS HERE 2 WEEKS IN AUGUST. GET OVER IT.

    -Spooky
    (one of the freaks)
     
  10. greyhorsewoman

    greyhorsewoman Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Mar 3, 2008
    Endless Mts, NE PA
    My favorites are # 5 & # 24.

    We lived in NC for several years and couldn't get over how folks bought out the grocery stores every time they hinted at the idea of snow coming. It was a standing joke with us that they would be 'landlocked for a whole half day till the temps melted any snow!'

    Always wondered what they did with all that extra bread & milk.
     
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2009

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