Seriously, which would you choose?

[farmerlor]

If you ever do get to a point where communication might be forthcoming please remember to leave the words "YOU always" and "YOU never" somewhere else. They are not productive ways to get a point across. Best to use words like "I feel like" and " I need" to convey your message.

 

[gritsar]

Quote:
Amen sister. I love our comfortable rut.
Slighty OT - What surprises me is how many people still believe it's best to stay together "for the sake of children". My DD applauded when she found our her dad and I were divorcing. My current DH stayed until his girls were out of high school, though he was miserable most of that time. His DD recently told me that she wished her dad had left (and felt he would have been justified in leaving) when she was still in grade school!
If you're miserable, your kids are feeling it. Believe me, they'd rather have happy but seperated parents than two miserable ones that are staying together for the kid's sake. It puts a guilt trip on the kids to think that their parent or parents are miserable and it's all for their "good".

 

[Frosty]

Quote:
I couldn't agree more. My father cheated on my mother and was verbally abusive to all of us. With the problems in their marriage, the tension was always high in the house. We grew up wishing that he would just leave and not come back.

 

[farmerlor]

Quote:
I couldn't agree more. My father cheated on my mother and was verbally abusive to all of us. With the problems in their marriage, the tension was always high in the house. We grew up wishing that he would just leave and not come back.

I stayed with my first husband longer than I should have. See, my bio father abandoned us and my ex was such a good father that I simply couldn't take that out of my daughter's life since I grew up without it. Yes, he hit me and abused me emotionally until my self worth was less than zero but he was a good father. Then I saw that same look of disgust turned towards me and it came from my daughter. Oh no, wasn't happening. We left and you know that "good father"? Yeah, he utterly abandoned my daughter when he found some new woman and got a few kids off her. Love found me when I least expected it and didn't even want it and I'm very proud to say that I've modeled a loving, happy, fun relationship for all of my children and I tell them never to settle for less.

 

[Eggs4Sale]

I retract my earlier statement. Some dead horses ain't worth kickin'.

Run for the hills, little lady.....

 

[beefy]

from a man's perspective, men are dense and clueless. if you dont tell him something is wrong then everything is okay.
if you do tell him something is wrong he will either care and want to correct the problem or either not care.
i am pro-backrubs.

 

[Eggs4Sale]

Is this his first marriage?

 

[the Pollo Loco]

Okay, i found out what the problem is!!!!!! just read your signature line... "all the love of your life, not in order" You know, a man may be ignorant about a lot of things, but when he feels he aint #1 in his wifes life, he begins to pull back from the relationship... Maybe he to has some of the same feelings but just isn't expressing them, he's just holding it in, and the both of you are just miserable. just a thought...
yeah some men are babies!!!

 

[elijahboy]

this is how i go about my life

if i have to ask anothers opinion about how i should live my life its because i already know how i should live it and im only asking cause im second guessing myself

 

[chocolate m'scovy]

Please, everybody listening, don't leave your spouse because he isn't romantic enough or doesn't seem to have the time to talk. The marriage vow IS made "for better or for worse." "What God hath joined together let no man put asunder."

I do agree that communication is important- work at it!