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Wow! I need to take lessons from you!
Wow! I need to take lessons from you!
Should I be feeling mad?
- Thread starter derby
- Start date
A lot of my husbands family is from Boonsboro, derby. I hope you aren't married to a Coulter lol.
Mine has been told and still don't get it!
Mine has been told too. And has gotten better over the years, but still has his little screwups.
I've never written mine a letter, mainly because he hates to read and everytime he gets interupted he has to start over. If I wrote too much he might never get out of the bathroom lolol
I've never written mine a letter, mainly because he hates to read and everytime he gets interupted he has to start over. If I wrote too much he might never get out of the bathroom lolol
Next time just send him an e-mail for his birthday.
ETA: Better yet, just ask his mother to say happy birthday from you and the kids.
ETA: Better yet, just ask his mother to say happy birthday from you and the kids.
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I nearly did that to mine in Hood River once.
It's a lot more than 4 miles home though...
Derby I'm sorry you're feeling underappreciated. I would too.
I nearly did that to mine in Hood River once.
It's a lot more than 4 miles home though...
Derby I'm sorry you're feeling underappreciated. I would too.
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Would your husband leave you on the side of the road to walk 4 miles in the rain? If he would then great, but if he's anything like my husband and wouldn't... well then that was kind of harsh. I personally wouldn't do that to my husband... but then every marriage is different and I don't have a clue what he was doing or saying, so I guess it's all a matter of perspective... on the other hand, without delving into it too deeply, that's pretty funny LOL
About the birthday thing, I don't think guys are stupid and need to be 'told' what we want ETC. But they are men and NEED to be communicated with. They do not think in depth about the kinds of things we do, they do not over analyze things. If he had taken the time to do all that for you, being a woman you probably would have showered him with affection and made a big fuss, but all he would expect was a 'dinner was good, thanks' he probably thinks he is doing good by remembering to say it was good.
It took 3 years of hinting before I finally came right out and said 'I'd like it if you let me know how dinner was' to get my husband to even say dinner was good, and at that I often have to say 'was dinner ok?' or something to remind him to give me his feedback...
It's not only that men are different (which they are), it's also that you're just 2 different people. I would personally just sit down and ask him why his mothers email was so special, how their conersation went, how she's doing... a little slueth work and he might enlighten you as to why he was so touched by her email. If you still don't get a hint then politely enquire 'did you not appreciate my efforts to make your birthday special? Because I felt as if you were not all that impressed... would you preffer i write you a note next time like your mother did?' dont' be sarcastic or grumpy. This gives him the oppertunity to say 'sorry hun, I didn't mean to make you feel it wasnt special..." maybe he was distracted, maybe he was overwhelmed, maybe he thought it was overkill and didn't feel comfortable by all the fuss... who knows... but there is ALWAYS plenty of time to get angry and flip out on him LOL
I know some guys feel that when us women make a fuss over things like their birthdays, valentines day and other events they are thinking 'great what lengths do I have to go to meet this expectation next year?' sometimes what we think is an act of love is more of a stressor to guys. I happen to be the kind of girl who hates valentines, birthdays etc I dont even know when our anniversary is and my husband constantly talks about how stressed his friends are over those things and how much he appreciates that I don't put stock in those... but then he will also get me a gift, a card, write me a note, do special things for me throughout the year whenever the mood strikes him because there are no expectations... which I think is more fun, then I don't even know it's coming
just my 2 cents...
Would your husband leave you on the side of the road to walk 4 miles in the rain? If he would then great, but if he's anything like my husband and wouldn't... well then that was kind of harsh. I personally wouldn't do that to my husband... but then every marriage is different and I don't have a clue what he was doing or saying, so I guess it's all a matter of perspective... on the other hand, without delving into it too deeply, that's pretty funny LOL
About the birthday thing, I don't think guys are stupid and need to be 'told' what we want ETC. But they are men and NEED to be communicated with. They do not think in depth about the kinds of things we do, they do not over analyze things. If he had taken the time to do all that for you, being a woman you probably would have showered him with affection and made a big fuss, but all he would expect was a 'dinner was good, thanks' he probably thinks he is doing good by remembering to say it was good.
It took 3 years of hinting before I finally came right out and said 'I'd like it if you let me know how dinner was' to get my husband to even say dinner was good, and at that I often have to say 'was dinner ok?' or something to remind him to give me his feedback...
It's not only that men are different (which they are), it's also that you're just 2 different people. I would personally just sit down and ask him why his mothers email was so special, how their conersation went, how she's doing... a little slueth work and he might enlighten you as to why he was so touched by her email. If you still don't get a hint then politely enquire 'did you not appreciate my efforts to make your birthday special? Because I felt as if you were not all that impressed... would you preffer i write you a note next time like your mother did?' dont' be sarcastic or grumpy. This gives him the oppertunity to say 'sorry hun, I didn't mean to make you feel it wasnt special..." maybe he was distracted, maybe he was overwhelmed, maybe he thought it was overkill and didn't feel comfortable by all the fuss... who knows... but there is ALWAYS plenty of time to get angry and flip out on him LOL
I know some guys feel that when us women make a fuss over things like their birthdays, valentines day and other events they are thinking 'great what lengths do I have to go to meet this expectation next year?' sometimes what we think is an act of love is more of a stressor to guys. I happen to be the kind of girl who hates valentines, birthdays etc I dont even know when our anniversary is and my husband constantly talks about how stressed his friends are over those things and how much he appreciates that I don't put stock in those... but then he will also get me a gift, a card, write me a note, do special things for me throughout the year whenever the mood strikes him because there are no expectations... which I think is more fun, then I don't even know it's coming
just my 2 cents...
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And HorseJody I was thinking the same thing, send him a short, to the point email next year.
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oh you shouldn't harbor this anger for a whole year IMHO
You deserve to be appreciated and have a right to be upset, but if you let it fester it will become a huge issue... this is what divorces are made or, women getting 'broody' only we brood grudges and men forget it ever happened or don't even know we're upset...
Heck you should do what he wants on his birthday, is all he wants next year is an email then you have it easy! You should be relived you won't have to do all that hassle again... but it was incredibly sweet of you to do it all!
oh you shouldn't harbor this anger for a whole year IMHO
Heck you should do what he wants on his birthday, is all he wants next year is an email then you have it easy! You should be relived you won't have to do all that hassle again... but it was incredibly sweet of you to do it all!
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Men are not stupid but they do not think like women think. We women are being equally stupid when we try to make men act the way another woman would act.
My marriage became so much happier when I started being direct with my hubby.
Men are not stupid but they do not think like women think. We women are being equally stupid when we try to make men act the way another woman would act.
My marriage became so much happier when I started being direct with my hubby.
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