I really know how you feel MC, outside of the fact that I do work, but it's just me, so I have no option. my last relationship was worse than being alone. I was with a man who was rarely here, never contributed to the relationship (and I'm not talking about $$, I make enough) never contributed anything positive. yes, he's disabled, really disabled, and it's depressing to live in pain... but he wouldn't manage it properly, and he would do stupid things that would hurt. after 6.5 years, I began to suspect hypochondria, and that he was doing these things on purpose. he complained about every little ache, pain and tinny sound in his ears... AND he was the ultimate "con" man. not the thieving kind... the kind who points out every negative thing about any project, idea, adventure, mostly in a very condescending tone - even begging wouldn't get him to say ONE positive thing, c'mon... just one... there has to be something good, right? it's worse to be with someone who makes you feel more alone than to actually be alone.
there has to be an alternative that makes you happier, if not outright happy. short haul does suck, sleepwise. our contracted driver for the USPS has a pretty big route, but Gilboa is his last stop for the morning, it's too far to go home for 3 hours, so he sleeps at our office. he's got a cot and all the sleeping gear... now that the mail has been so chronically late, he's missing big chunks of that nap. he has to be back on the road by 11:15... if he can get to us by 8, he's golden... he's tired. I can see it in his face. I don't envy him his job.
so... how come you don't drive? maybe it's time. you'd have a lot more freedom. don't give up yet... we'll keep trying to come up with ideas!
