*sigh* I'm loosing my touch. (Warning: Hi-jacked by Em)

[Spookwriter]

I gave the matter some serious thought, Tani.
That was one of the least embarrassing stories I
could share.

There's more. I promise you, there's much more.

The first time a girl beat me up? When my girlfriend and I
ran out of gas a few blocks from the station and I told her
she had to push, cause she didn't have a license...she didn't
like it.

The day I totaled my Mom's Oldsmobile...

The night the sheriff caught us parking...called my parents at
2:00 in the morning.

What happens when someone drops a lit cherrybomb under the
front seat...

How my car rolled down the hill without me one morning...

Why your license plates should always be on the car...

When you and all your friends get caught drag racing...

What a car looks like after driving through a cornfield. (Dukes of Hazzard
ain't right)

How many friends you can sneak into the drive-in by hiding in your trunk.

It's quite a list.

And one more important one before I stop?

When you're pulling a friend out of a ditch (and it will happen)
DO NOT USE a long chain so you can get a run-and-go. Ease
up on that chain slowly or you'll jerk your back bumper off.

Now be kind and don't ask how I know some of these things. When that judge took my license for 90 days...He should of kept them for
a couple of more years.

Spook...now teaching his own daughter to drive RIGHT.

 

[Spookwriter]

I went back and reread that post.

Sadly, there was more.

My wife is right...

I've earned the right to be called an idiot.


Spook...who should of never been allowed to drive

 

[Spookwriter]

Back to teaching my daughter...

As a rule, I don't cuss.

But in teaching her to drive, I've got this invisible parrot
that sets on my shoulder.

And she's scared the crap outta him...Hana hit a stump
this morning.

She said my parrot has the mouth of a sailor.

 

[Spookwriter]

"I've earned the right..."

One more? This one involves my brother.

We were in Columbus one night, staying with a cousin.
Couldn't sleep in the city. So my brother and I went for
a walk in the neighborhood.

Saw a man trying to use a coat hanger to open his car.
Being two friendly country boys, we stopped to talk and
offered to help him.

He never said nothing about that not being his car.

Nobody told me and my brother we were supposed to run
when the cops came...

Try explaining that one to your Dad...

"Oh yes, I've earned the right."

 

[sourland]

Due to negative patience on the part of Sourland, the Princess taught 4 of my nephews and our children how to drive. That same parrot who cussed like a sailor must have been on my shoulder also.

Spook has "earned the right to be called an idiot."

The Princess just told me that "you are such a child'. Is it possible to still be a child at nearly 71?

She was pretty emphatic.

 

[Spookwriter]

After I totaled Mom's Oldsmobile, my parents bought a
new Chevrolet Caprice.

It didn't get to be a real old car...

It wasn't my fault.

I had it borrowed. It was setting in the parking lot of a
motel and someone came in and tore it all to pieces.

Hit and run....

I swear I didn't do that one.

Then Dad bought her a Cadillac. His theory was it was a
bigger car.

Didn't work.

My younger brother had his license by then.

He rolled that Caddy.

Mike's been gone 27 years. I've still got the hood ornament
and the radio knobs from that Caddy. Only things that weren't
bent.

 

[Tanichca]

Should I be taking notes here on what NOT to do?

 

[bluesub]

Tani,

If you have an ounce of common sense (and 0 ounces of testosterone), you should be good to go...

 

[Tanichca]

Tani,

If you have an ounce of common sense (and 0 ounces of testosterone), you should be good to go...

In that case, I should probably avoid driving with my brother, since he has neither.

Maybe we should just make a law that only women are allowed to drive. The world would be a better place!

 

[bluesub]

In that case, I should probably avoid driving with my brother, since he has neither.

Maybe we should just make a law that only women are allowed to drive. The world would be a better place!

Uh, I wouldn't open up that can of worms...