*Sigh* Week old baby and possibly a divorce. *Warning: RANT!!!*

[ChevygirlBeth]

I'm so glad to hear that you guys got a little time to yourselves! I hope you can continue trying to work on things. Continued prayers and hugs for you!

 

[HennysMom]

Glad to hear you both got some "adult time" together. Thats very important in a marriage. Try to set one night a week aside for a "date night" - you dont have to leave the house, but make it special. Dinner and a movie, picnic in the living room, a walk down the road at night, or just sitting outside on a blanket watching the stars. Do SOMETHING together - even if your kids are home - schedule it after they are in bed but just make sure you have a firm set routine for your kids - a bed time. Something most parents do not do

and therein lies alot of the problems marriages can face - not enough "couple time".

Kids need a bed time each and every night at the same time. I know its hard right now with a new born, but if you establish a routine now, it can be done. Your 16 month old can start at 6:30/7:00 with bathtime, then 7:00/7:30 read a book until 7:30/8:00 (all depends on what times you choose) but by 8:00 the baby is in bed, leaving you and hubby time to yourselves. This should be done even on the weekends and even if the kids stay over at Grandma and Grandpa's house

. Routinely. Newborn is the same way, try to start a routine now, even though young, they learn quickly. After bathtime is a bottle, and rocking in a chair, before bed, etc.

If you love each other and are committed - then you can work through this - together - but... I'd still suggest counseling as a couple or independtly, it does wonders

and you get to vetch to someone about everything and anything your heart desires

 

[AndreaGS]

Glad you two are working it out

I'm with HennysMom 100%. It is so important to have "couple" time together. If you can get the kids into a routine, where you and your hubby have alone time together after they get to sleep and before you two do, it does wonders!

I agree on the counseling too. My fiance and I have a very strong relationship, but it's not perfect, and we're dealing with blended family issues. I'm going in for my set-up appointment next week and looking forward to it!

On another note, I think it's fine if the kids see you fight, as long as it's not a nasty fight, and they see you resolve it afterwards. It's a good way for them to learn conflict resolution, and that a fight isn't the end of the world.

 

[JessaLynn]

First off condratulations on your new baby.I can relate to your situation.Except I have 4 and my husband does not do much with tending to them.It's a known fact (unless you are the REALLY lucky woman who has a husband that understands what a woman goes threw) that woman are the sole nutures,care takers of there children.It's something most of us go threw and you are simply not alone.Right now you are to the point of exsaustian with little sleep.I went threw this with my to youngest being the same age as yours.I nursed my son EVERY HOUR or every other hour for the first few months and let me tell you, that is sleep deprived! LOL! My husband was like yours and it's very hard to go threw something like that and watch your spouse on easy street. This is what I would do to help:
As suggested by another poster,Print your post out what you wrote and leave it where he can read it.Before he can read it,go for the day somewhere so he can have time to think on his own.Leave the kids with your parents or someone and go and talk with him.Don't use words like, YOU ALWAYS, YOU DON"T (trust me) just ask him what he thinks is the problem and what HE thinks would help your situation I wish you the best and know that silence will not help you and seperation DOES NOT HELP.Counceling is also an option.

 

[sundance]

IMHP seek Not just for you but for DH and the children professional help. Marriage can be one of the hardest things iminigable but it can also be the most rewarding.Just remember you are loved

marrie

 

[Big dreams]

Maybe the IL would be sooo happy to watch the kids every week or two for a night, I know if my kids were close (they are army) I would be very happy to take the kids, oh what fun we would have, and I know it would help their marriage so I would get a double good feeling.... Love to have the grandkids.... Love to have my kids happily married. A little romantic time can go a loooong way... I have been married 27 years, not all good, not all bad, but I believe a very successful one. Lots of work and worry but what isn't ? Even your chickens are work and worry! Good Luck and hang in there, it will work, be happy.

 

[elliemay0305]

dont worry we have all been there at some point. sometimes things work out and some times they dont. just take it slow and see what happens. maybe if you guys live apart he will see how much you do do!! isnt it amazing how men can say we dont do anything but they cant take one day in our shoes?? they need a good slap!

i hope you get to feeling better and get some rest.

 

[morelcabin]

Just my two cents...I am a stay at home mom. It is my JOB to ensure the kids are taken care of, dinner is on the table, laundry is done, house is clean, etc.
Hubby works outside the home...it is his job to ensure that his family is well provided for, that his wife is happy and secure.
Wives have to be careful that they aren't expecting thier husbands to be exactly what "working moms" are, in many cases...responsible for everything when it could be shared between two working parents.

 

[turney31]

morel cabin - well said!

 

[They Call Me Pete]

Well this is coming from a seasonal stay at home dad. My daughters are 18 months apart so we did the two young kid thing also. At the time my daughters were born I was working two jobs(left house at 6am and returned 8pm) and my wife worked weekend nights. It was crazy nuts for a while and still is at times but we are surviving. We used to see each other from 8-10 pm or less depending if I passed out after eating. I was still up during the night to feed and got outta bed at 5 am. I felt that I was just as responsible for my kids as my wife regardless of sleep or anything else. I did/do the laundry, clean house( although not always to wife's standards

) and now we homeschool our daughters plus all the outside chores and house repairs. For the past 4 yrs. I have run my own landscape biz and get to see my kids a lot more. After all any dad can be a paycheck but not everyone can be a dad to their kids. My wife and I do whatever it takes to make the household run. Whether she is working a lot or it's me the other picks up the slack at home and with the kids. It's a team effort not finger pointing who's "job" it is. It sounds like your husband is seeing the light and I'm glad things are on the up and up. Your a very understanding wife. Mine would have kicked me to the curb a long time ago.