Can you post a pic of your rooster?
I don't think they look raggy, they regularly preen and dust bath like a normal chicken so shouldn't be raggy? If he's not keeping himself tidy then maybe he is sick?
..Some are smart and cuddly, depends on the individual chicken like with any breed although Silkies are known to be docile some are not. Also if their crest obscures their vision they can bump into things so often I trim mine if it is a little too fluffy.
..I'm sure there is an article on byc about Silkie gender, it is hard to tell sometimes at a few months old or untill they crow or lay an egg. Comb, streamers, crest, stance, behaviour are a few things. But there are plenty of knowledgeable people on here that know Silkies very well and can help make a guess if you post some pics of Silkies in question.
Hope I could help answer some of your questions, other people I'm sure will chime in to give you further info.