So, extraordinarily lonely..

[elieugene6]

Oh how I wish you lived near me. I go through basically the same thing. My fiance is constantly working and when he's home he wants to relax and watch tv. I have no friends. They all moved away or we no longer have anything in common. I got a job where I work one night a week for 13hrs. Its in a warehouse and I am sometimes there until 3 am. From approximately 11pm until I leave I am alone with 2 men 1 older and the other is just plain strange. Anyone want to guess how this is going? I am digging in my heels about quiting because I am so lonely at home and its nice to get out and talk to people. My fiance used to be outgoing and now he just wants to sit home. I need to get out and talk to people. We have 2 adorable kids and I love my fiance so much I just need friends. I am busy all day long and I feel bad because I want to sit on byc just to talk to people.

 

[Kuntry Klucker]

Hey Girl,

I so wish that you lived near me. I am in the same boat. My husband works full time then goes to school in the evening.
I do not see him till 11 or after. He goes to bed then up at 7am and gone till way after the sun goes down. I Home school my
kids too. I love home schooling but there are days that I think that I spend way too much quality time with my kids. I does
get wearing on my to have to be home all the time. But with a small farm and gardens to take care of it keeps me pretty busy.
But like you, I still get lonely. It is so encouraging to me to hear that someone knows exactly how I feel at times.

You are not alone.

 

[jojo@rolling acres farm]

Hi MA1,

I was a stay at home Mom for about 15 years.I know what you're going through! My oldest son was born prematurly and finding a day care was very difficult. After 6 months of the day care struggle, I quit my job in Advertising to stay home full time. It was a huge adjustment but every thing worked out fine and then 2 years later we had a second son. I worked out of our home on various things when the boys were little always making sure they could be a part of things. I rarely had a sitter because I felt guilty about leaving the boys and spending money on a sitter.

I never really made time for me. Reading between the lines - I see a whole lot of me in you. You can pm me anytime you feel like it!

What is your at home business?

What did you do before you were married and became a stay at home mom?

One of my best at home businesses was bird grooming. I had several elderly clients and I trimmed their bird wings and nails. I also cleaned and decorated aviaries at rest homes. My kids had more grandmas & grandpas than they knew what to do with. It was a great experience for all of us. Along the way they met and got to know people that were severly mentally an or physically handicapped.

You've already started making things better for yourself by reaching out to us via this forum. It's been said before - you're not alone!

Joni

 

[MandyH]

Same story here. Husband has crazy work schedule and I am at home 24/7 bored to freakin tears. When he's off we always have work to tend to and then he's gone off to work again. I've been thinking about getting a job, but being at home is more convenient so I can run the dd back and forth to school and do her things after school.

 

[ginbart]

Does he work 7 days a week? If he doesn't work on Sundays maybe you could get a sitter and go out. If he's tired try a movie, or go out to eat. I know what you mean about not wanting to cook we didn't eat tonight until 8:30pm. You my dear are going though depression. Go to the doctors and get meds for it. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Your husband is doing what he can to keep his family together please try and remember that. My DH trains race horse's so he is gone in the day and 3 or 4 nights a week sometimes he doesn't get home until 2 or 3 in the morning and needs to get up at 6 to go to work again.

You need to take care of yourself, you need to go to the doctors, sometimes it only takes a couple of weeks to get over it. If you are at the point of leaving please talk to him and tell him how you feel he doesn't know if you don't tell him.

And don't ever think we don't care, I'm sure there are a lot of us gong through the same thing. We do care.

God Bless You.

 

[lowry075]

I wish I was closer; I live in California

Don't feel "pathetic" for reaching out to strangers. I don't have any freinds on this forum (yet), but it feels like I know some people based on what I've read about their posts. As far as caring less? I care, and judging from what others have posted, I am not the only one. I am sorry you are feeling alone; I must be really difficult. I know my mom used to stay at home and look forward to talking to my dad when he came home from work, and he wanted to relax. She had spent all day with a baby and wanted to talk to an adult. I think it's pretty common to feel like you are, so you are certainly not alone.

You aren't the only one without a lot of friends. I consider myself a reasonably nice person, but I can count the number of people I consider "friends" on one hand, and I only see them once a month or so. I work at a high school, but have only one coworker I trust and vent to while at work...otherwise, I can go all day and only speak to teenagers. My profession is pretty isolating.

Please feel free to pm me whenever you want to. I am on this forum more than Facebook

.

 

[Momagain1]

I posted on FB:

2 more days..I despise hubbys work schedule..I feel the need to get out and have adult convo!!!


his response: "Wow..thats all I'm gonna put here, otherwise ppl would come to your "rescue""
I emailed him and said wy do you have to be dang mean or ornery to me??


My "friends" response to me in an email:

....i am not mean to you, i live in the real world...i also dont post my life on facebook for the world to read. however if i did i would have to accept any response i got on it. you want helpful..here it is..you have a life that allows you to work from home and be with your kids all the time, this is a life most parents would kill for. since i see my boy every wed and every other weekend..i have a hard time when someone complains about time with their kids....the helpful part is enjoy what you have, some of us wish we had it. its not harsh or mean, its just the truth...



Went way over his head didnt it??

 

[Momagain1]

jojo@rolling acres farm :

Hi MA1,

What is your at home business?

What did you do before you were married and became a stay at home mom?

Joni

I own this:

www.toysgoroundonline.com

and am a featured merchant with amazon.com --

before I was married; I was a CNA; cant do that anymore due to a back injury..

ginbart

If you are at the point of leaving please talk to him and tell him how you feel he doesn't know if you don't tell him.

he DOES know how I feel; unfortunately he is at a dead end job and pretty much grandfathered in..if he was to apply for his level job with walgreens now..A: he wouldnt be hired as he has no college
education..they changed the requirements a few yrs back..so now he's stuck...literally..
but it he was to find another job doing what he does now...somewhere else..he'd take about a $10 paycut per hour...<sigh>

He tries his best to help me...he makes the bed the way I like it, he'll text me just to tell me he loves me etc..but it doesnt change the fact I am lonely..
tonight he got out of bed 20 min early and sat with me..and I cried the whole dang time...he just said hold on two more days honey..two more...

<sigh> and here it is..1108pm and I'm canning tomato sauce..when all I wanna do it curl up in bed and cry...
I have one more batch for canning tonight..then I'm done...

tomorrow is potatoes...ugh...​

 

[RHRanch]

I think maybe it would be good for you to get out. Is there a church or something similar that you might like to go to? I am not religious, but I like church because I like people. Its a nice place to find people to visit with. My church has luncheon and womens groups. If not church, have you a community college or bowling alley to visit. Don't laugh about bowling alleys - its a great way to get excersize, you can bring your kids and meet people - maybe join a league if you get good at it. lol My point is, since hubby can't get out of his work obligations, maybe you just need to find a social outlet. Don't feel bad about needing to seek out adult friends and hobbies - we all need that.

 

[redhen]

Momagain... I just have to say that from some of your past threads, you may have more problems with hubby than just his work schedule and being lonely.
Heck even this thread,..the NASTY, heartless, SNARKY response he sent you

.... wow. He actually seems like he can be very cruel. (from other past things you have said also)
Sorry, i'm just speaking my mind here...

Dont know what to tell you.... but i think that YOU also feel "trapped" in an unhappy marriage, (like he feels trapped in his job..)... you have kids.... he probably provides most of the household income...etc... What will you be able to do to support your children if you leave?..etc.. Trapped.
Hes probably ticked off and sick of hearing you complain about his work schedule and stuff.... while hes at work and tired and you get to be at home....He just doesnt "get it"...
You're in a vicious cycle.... IMO. Have you guys looked in a marriage therapist?? Will he sit down and actually REALLY listen to you?? and how you feel.. Do you actually listen to him and how he feels??
Dont know what to tell you.. but..