So, I have a question.

[Ec_Prokta]

I keep hearing all of this stuff about "Be yourself" and "Don't lie about yourself, especially to others."

But the problem is, people hate "myself."
I have a low tolerance for children, I don't like socializing, religion isn't my thing, I like all of the weird stuff you've never heard of, talking is kinda hard, and how dare I be bi-curious!

What do I do?

 

[eenie114]

Who's 'people'?

What I do to deal with this is have several different versions of myself. With one group of people, I talk about books, but I steer clear of chickens. With some friends I can talk about religion but we steer clear of boys. Vice-versa for another.
Does that help? It's the kind of thing that usually only makes sense to me.

 

[Ec_Prokta]

Quote:
Family and friends.

That's what I had been doing. I had a kind, obedient, hug giving self that I used for pretty much everything, and only one or two people knew of 'myself'. But now I'm finding it extremely hard to use my shell, and now everyone's pretty much disliking me for it greatly.

 

[featherfinder]

You are who you are and no one can change that. You shouldnt have to change that for other people either. It takes time to find great friends who accept you for you. It took me awhile. Dont change a thing or you will just be unhappy with yourself. Family is family. Talk to them and just ask them to accept you as you are because there is honestly nothing wrong with you. You are just not their "normal" We define our own sense of normal. Do things that you like and you will meet people along that path.

 

[TinyChickenLady]

Quote:
I'm no social butterfly. I'm not of any religous persuasion. I'm a total dork and have been accused of being bi-curious (I'm not but I don't care).

For the negative comments that come because of my oddness, I tell people "This is who I am. You can like it or not like it. But just to warn you, I will not change for anyone but myself so you might as well love me for all my greatness and all of my faults or I can find people who will."

Sometimes I come off as harsh when defending myself but that's because I've had to do it all my life.
You are who you are. Some will like you for it. Others won't. But what counts is, are YOU happy with yourself? Do you like your faults? (I call them quirks) Do you like what you can offer in a freindship and/or relationship? People can sense if you aren't happy with yourself and will gladly point it out to you. To be honest, sometimes I don't like myself and then I have to remind myself that I'm not perfect but I can be perfectly happy if I allow myself.

You can too.

 

[Q9]

I act like myself all the time, and if it irritates someone, well, I don't give a crap. If they don't like something about me (religion, politics, morals, whatever), I'll either acknowledge differences and move on, or if they're particularly annoying, I'll set 'em straight. "Being yourself" is a lot easier, I suppose, if you're naturally belligerent.

 

[eenie114]

Quote:
Family and friends.

That's what I had been doing. I had a kind, obedient, hug giving self that I used for pretty much everything, and only one or two people knew of 'myself'. But now I'm finding it extremely hard to use my shell, and now everyone's pretty much disliking me for it greatly.

I think what TinyChickenLady hit the nail in the head, then.

 

[Ec_Prokta]

Quote:
I suppose so...

But it won't work on parents. They'll just say "You're wrong, I'm right", by hypocritical, and then punish you for thinking differently than what they want.

 

[featherfinder]

Well cant just tell you not to listen to you parents because you do have to but trying talking it out with them. Tell them you have different views and beliefs then them and would like to explore it more. Dont just rebel agenst their ways. That will make things worse. I really think i good sit down talk with your parents where you explain everything that is going on would be the best way to go.

 

[TinyChickenLady]

What I said in my last comment is an excerpt from things I have said to my parents.
I don't yell at them or argue with them or any of that stuff but I do let them understand what kind of person I really am. I may not necessarily be the person they wanted me to be but I am still their daughter and they need to love me as I am.

I have told them, I will not change for them. We have had arguments when I was a teen about the kind of person I should be as opposed to the kind of person I am. We've tossed ideas back and forth on ways to change the negative aspects of my personality (I was rebellious) but I told them that when it comes to what makes me, ME, those things will not change.

If you can talk to them as a respectable adult who actually has thoughts, feelings and ideas then you should do it ASAP. They need to know who their child really is on the inside. You can't continue putting on a show for your parents. They're supposed to be the 2 people in the world that you shouldn't have to lie to.