So, would you be offended, POed or what?

[jojo@rolling acres farm]

Men are Men and they need "guy time" just like we need girl time. With that being said, I would never go where I'm not invited...I'm way too proud for that. I would never sneak over and spy on him either - that is just asking for pain and misery - don't make yourself vulnerable. If I was the OP - I'd make plans for myself and follow through on them. Sometimes that's hard to do...with a bruised ego and a broken heart - but it's important to be comfortable with yourself when you're on your own. Don't be insecure about him don't be jealous of his alone time. Be confident. Be strong. Be good to yourself.

 

[tnchickenut]

jojo@rolling acres farm :

Men are Men and they need "guy time" just like we need girl time. With that being said, I would never go where I'm not invited...I'm way too proud for that. I would never sneak over and spy on him either - that is just asking for pain and misery - don't make yourself vulnerable. If I was the OP - I'd make plans for myself and follow through on them. Sometimes that's hard to do...with a bruised ego and a broken heart - but it's important to be comfortable with yourself when you're on your own. Don't be insecure about him don't be jealous of his alone time. Be confident. Be strong. Be good to yourself.

Agreed completely. I couldn't have said that better myself.

Let me also add that if I was him and you snuck around on me when all I wanted was some "guy time"... you'd be fired. Sneaking to spy is just as horrible as sneaking to cheat IMO. Sneaking is sneaking and sneaking is a form of lying... which is what you said you are mad at him for doing. He probrably told the white lie because it seems you are they type to get upset if he said, "I just don't want to be "that guy" who brings his girl to the all guy thing" Besides that... don't you realize that his friends might be the ones not wanting you or any of the other women there? I know my friends like to spend time with JUST me and I feel the same about them and their "others".

I'm getting long winded... but I just can't stand jealousy in a relationship. If you can't trust him, then move on. If you don't want to move on, then just trust him.​

 

[Beekissed]

Years of experience tells me to advise you this way....if you have a gut feeling he is up to no good, he most likely is. Always trust your gut on things like this, especially about men....after all, it is your guts that get ripped out when they do you wrong...could be that is why those warning bells are ringing there. If he is lying about one thing he will lie about anything.

I wouldn't be offended, POed or anything...but I would darn well be paying more attention and preparing myself for a heartache.

 

[MomtoSyd&Emma]

I hope I didnt come off sounding harsh earlier, but I hate to be put in the spot of having to find a way to tell someone that I need some me time.

My Mom is HORRIBLE about this when it comes to my sister and I, our Mom cant walk well at all anymore and she knows it, but she gives us HORRIBLE guilt trips everytime we do something with out her, like going camping in tents, she KNOWS she physically cant do it, but yet she makes us feel guilty because we can, and enjoy being together!

My DH and my BIL are best friends, love to sit around the fire, drink a beer (or more lol) and shoot the breeze.(our Mom hates alcohol at all costs) My sister and I just love to be together, her and I are best friends, and I think our Mom is honestly jealous of that, and its sad.

BUT we have had to be dishonest with her before just to save her feelings!

I hope that IF you went you BOTH have a great time, but do please remember everyone needs some breathing room!

(My DH (bless his lil heart) said he wouldnt go anywhere that I couldnt go with him. I laughed and said Yes but would i WANT to go) buhahahhahaaaaa

 

[cluckcluck42]

I would let him go and plan my own girls night. It sounds like your hubby cares about your feelings and did not want you to be upset. Everyone needs some time to themselves and with their friends, it's not unreasonable for him to want to do so. He should have told you straight up though, so you do have a right to be a bit ticked. I would let this whole thing slide and tell him very calmly that in the future he should just be upfront, you are not going to begrudge him time with friends once in awhile. Let your mom babysit and have a fun night out!

 

[Randy]

Quote:
This.

 

[zippitydooda]

I read your original post & wondered what he was hiding. Then I re-read it and noticed he has included your mom in this, by the house sitting thing. Obviously your mom wouldn't ever do anything to hurt you so.... have you considered that he may be trying to set up a suprise party or something for you? Just a thought since mom all the sudden is going out of town.

 

[Sunny the Hippie Chick]

Quote:
Personally I would follow. Or sneak up on the party when not expected and stay hidden and see if he leaves early or has some one else there with him. From personal experience, not saying every guy is like it. But once my guy said he was going to a party. I said sure, just dont drive while drunk. I found out later that I should have trusted my gut feeling and followed or checked up on him. Because he left the party early and meet a girl at a hotel.

If you have a gut feeling about something. I would check it out. Better to find out now than later. Or even better to find out that he is just missing his one on one time with the guys.

But it does sort of sound like he is trying to get you out of his way.

 

[Beekissed]

Yep.....

Too many moves to prevent you from going to this party....I'm sure there will be other women at this "guy's night out".

 

[Bettacreek]

We're just now back from the whole thing. No, this wasn't a "guys night", most guys brought their wives, girlfriends, kids and even their dogs. I had fun, he had fun, and everyone there made me feel welcome, including my butthead of a boyfriend. I was afraid to go, I figured he'd be a jerk about it, but it turned out alright. His one buddy actually went out of his way to make sure that I felt welcome, which felt great. As for the tournament, the boyfriend's team took 4th out of I think 32 teams. The boyfriend actually took the record for the number of homeruns, lol. Who knows how stuff will turn out, to be honest. He just recently started including the boys and I, and now he already "needs a break". A guys' night out would be one thing, but to go to a family event and not want me there, that really says something to me. I certainly don't see marriage later down the line. For now, it's good enough.

As for whomever said that I don't trust him to go out, that's not the issue at all. I didn't trust him because he was straight up lying to me, and I had every right to not trust him.