Anyways, my college english teacher had us do a parody on Shakespeare's Sonnet 130 "My Mistress' Eyes Are Nothing Like the Sun." I got really creative and did the parody on my rooster. Tell me what you think(And I know I didn't get the correct number of syllables on some of the lines, so any of you who are English masters, don't poke fun or even mention it lest you risk my wrath
just kidding)
Original by Shakespeare
My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her (Insert word for female chest parts) are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.
And here is mine
Sonnet 5,398: My Roosters Feathers Are Nothing Like a Cloud
My roosters feathers are nothing like a cloud;
Blood is far more red than his wattles red;
If whispers be quiet, why then his cackles are loud;
If scales be coins, tarnished coins grow on his legs.
I have seen sunflowers adorned, yellow and black,
But no such sunflowers see I in his beak;
And in some stenches is there less attack
Than in the excrement that from my rooster leaks.
I love to hear him crow, yet well I know
That screaming is a far more pleasing noise
I grant I never watched a phoenix glow;
My rooster, when he stands, blends in with the other boys.
And yet, by heaven, I think he will taste as well
As all the Cornish hens Walmart will sell.
Anyways, was just an assignment. Pretty proud of myself, as I don't ever write poetry.
Original by Shakespeare
My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her (Insert word for female chest parts) are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.
And here is mine
Sonnet 5,398: My Roosters Feathers Are Nothing Like a Cloud
My roosters feathers are nothing like a cloud;
Blood is far more red than his wattles red;
If whispers be quiet, why then his cackles are loud;
If scales be coins, tarnished coins grow on his legs.
I have seen sunflowers adorned, yellow and black,
But no such sunflowers see I in his beak;
And in some stenches is there less attack
Than in the excrement that from my rooster leaks.
I love to hear him crow, yet well I know
That screaming is a far more pleasing noise
I grant I never watched a phoenix glow;
My rooster, when he stands, blends in with the other boys.
And yet, by heaven, I think he will taste as well
As all the Cornish hens Walmart will sell.
Anyways, was just an assignment. Pretty proud of myself, as I don't ever write poetry.
