soon to be 19 yr old DD just told me.........UPdate.......post1

[Msbear]

You are right. Not every 19 yr old is too immature to handle a family. ..just all the ones I have known

 

[cristina33]

I was married and had my first child at 19 16 years later still married and have another child. I consider myself very lucky. It can work but it takes alot on both ends and ALOT of sacrafices (sp). I will keep your dd in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Intheswamp]

Quote:
I had never been to PP's website before this thread came along. I just wanted to know what advice it might give a teen so I went to the welcome/home page and clicked on "Teen Talk" which carried me to a screen that contained a question and a link to the resulting dialogue (this is a direct copy and paste...the italicizing is mine)...

"How much does the morning after pill cost at my local planned parenthood because i am under 18 and dont have a lot of money?
~ arkkraco1

Dear arkkraco1,

The cost of emergency contraception (EC) varies a great deal, depending on where you go and what services you need. Plan B, a brand of EC, is available over the counter at many pharmacies for women over 17. Plan B may cost anywhere from $10 to $50.

If you are under 17 and need a prescription, the health care visit may cost anywhere from $35 to $250, depending on where you live. EC is available at Planned Parenthood health centers, as well as college, public, and women's health centers.

You can make an appointment to get a prescription for EC from the Planned Parenthood health center nearest you. Be honest with the staff about your financial situation and find out about available payment options."

TEEN pregnancies and it's added concerns?

Ok, so I need to look a little further in the information that PP offers so I can have a better understanding of them. Let's see, I just went to the Teen-Talk "I'm Pregnant...Now What?". The options are broken down into three choices....have a baby, put the baby up for adoption, get an abortion. Guess which one gets the most negative statements about it? Yelp...the option to have the baby. Putting the baby up for adoption is basically a wash-out between positive and negative comments.

I went even further into the website trying to find something pertaining to actually *taking care of a child*, maybe a little instruction on how to warm a bottle or something, maybe something like what to for a teething baby...ZIP, NADA, NOTHING. There information doesn't get you to the "baby" part. Found plenty about STDs, sex, abortion, etc., though. Even the "Pre-Natal" and "Considering Pregnancy" pages have a negative slant toward having a baby.

I emphatically re-state that Planned Parenthood is a very wrong place for someone considering becoming pregnant and having a child to seek information from. There are many, many other organizations that display joy at the conception, pregnancy, and birth of a child and that would be a much better place for a prospective parent to seek advice...a place that actually celebrates life and that gives good counsel on the responsibilities and self sacrifice that is required if a person is to be a good parent.

Ed

 

[Chickerdoodle13]

I think planned parenthood has become more of an emergency organization for teen pregnancies rather than actual "planned parenthood", which to me is absolutely fine but I think they should really chance the name! At school we have an office called "His and Her Healthy Options" and I think that covers it much better.

Anyways, I hope your daughter rethinks this. I cringe at the thought of having had a baby at 19. Everyday I look back on days past and I am always in shock at how little I knew the day before! She still has a lot to learn and she should enjoy being young!

Of course there are responsible teen mothers and there isn't anything wrong with that either, but it seems she should just spend some time with her boyfriend doing the things they want to do. After children, it's a lonnnng time until they will get anymore "me" time!

 

[Anianna]

I don't want to get into a debate over PP, abortions, or anything political, but I will point this out:

Planned Parenthood is the leading provider of surgical abortions in the U.S.. They promote abortions heavily, are at the forefront of "pro-choice" politics, and have been known to provide inadequate information on options other than abortion (as evidenced by past court cases and legal charges against them). Come to your own conclusions.

My sister-in-law volunteered as a counselor with them, on the belief that they were an organization that helped couples with family planning, provided extensive sex education, and provided counseling to teens in trouble, but after going through training and working there for a few months, she couldn't stand it anymore. She says they are not at all what they appeared to be and truly believes they are in business to promote and provide abortions. She said what they were allowed to tell teens was very skewed toward abortion and they were required to leave pertinent information about other options out. Of course, her statements are not a statement of fact on my part, I'm simply passing along some second-hand information.

Like many of these types of organization, I think the initial idea was a noble one, but it has moved too far away from those noble beginnings. They do provide some good information on pre-pregnancy planning if you are savvy enough to know what you are looking for and not be persuaded by deceptive advertising and information that is sometimes skewed toward specific options. I don't think I would give a teenager unsupervised access to their kind of information, but a savvy parent can get good information and statistics to give a teen considering pregnancy.

 

[sparkles2307]

Quote:
I had my first at 19 and my 2nd a few weeks b4 I turned 21. I was one of those few who was ready to grow up and take care of my kids, but now, even at the still young age of 25, I see these 18-20 year olds having babies and think "OMG they are just kids!" which is mostly true, 99% of the population at that age is not ready to be a parent.

 

[Msbear]

or that show... "Sixteen and Pregnant" It is shocking but, it amazes me how some of those girls really pick up the reins and make the right choices. It's ashame that none of the dads really do.

I know the show originated as one to help pursuade young couples to rethink being sexually active and see first hand what can become of it. That might be a good thing for the OP's daughter to watch. Even the show, "Baby Story" or "Birth Day" on TLC, I believe.. nothing will scare the baby vibes from ya than watching labor and delivery!!

 

[Robin'sBrood]

Quote:
Oh my gosh, I'm recording the second season of 16 and Pregnant and one of the girl's on there, can't remember her name, but... her boyfriend... I wanted to SMACK HIM every time he was on the show and opened his arrogant, immature teenage mouth! Especially while she was in labor with HIS baby and he was acting like a 4 year old and being extremely nasty to her mother...

 

[Nupine]

Robin'sBrood :

Quote:
Oh my gosh, I'm recording the second season of 16 and Pregnant and one of the girl's on there, can't remember her name, but... her boyfriend... I wanted to SMACK HIM every time he was on the show and opened his arrogant, immature teenage mouth! Especially while she was in labor with HIS baby and he was acting like a 4 year old and being extremely nasty to her mother...

I know....I watched the new episode last night. The dad of the baby hadn't seen his child in 3 WEEKS, and the mother was trying very hard to take care of the baby and go to school. One night she went out to the homecoming game, which isn't so bad. When the baby's father found out he told her what a terrible mother she is, and how worthless and stupid she is, and that she is a fat stretched marked b****. I just wanted to castrate him. He also said how he wanted to sign the papers to hand her over the ''mistake''.​

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

As to when and whether to marry, what is probably more important than anything else is the understanding of what marriage entails--BOTH parties need to be on the same page as each other. They don't need to be on the same page as their parents or friends or anyone else--they simply need to have the same understanding of what it means in terms of committment, resolve, responsibility, effort, external relationships, finances, and a whole realm of other specifics. It is not enough to love someone--they have to build a life together, and everyone is entitled to strive for the life they want. Sometimes two people who love each other have incompatible life goals--sad, but a fact. If your basic priorities in life are compatible, achieving and maintaining a good marriage is doable, regardless of whether you are 19 or 88. If they are not compatible, or if the couple's basic understandings of what marriage is do not match, their marriage is simply a disaster waiting to happen, also, regardless of age.