Stop Dressing Your Daughter Like A...

[redhen]

Leah-yes I know I'm crazy :

My 18mo old grand daughter showed up with a shirt that said, "Sexy baby." I made spaghetti and red jello for lunch. The shirt was ruined. End of problem.

thats the way !..

 

[#1California Chick]

I have one other recommendation: DO NOT take your daughters shopping!!!

You can't do this forever, but you can probably get away with it from ages 6 to 10 or 12.

Here is what I did: I went shopping (in stores and online) and bought all the clothes that I was happy with. I bought more clothes than I was going to actually buy. Then I brought the clothes home and had my girls try on the clothes (in front of a full length mirror -$10 or less). It went best if I had like four outfits each and told them that they had to pick two each. The extras went back -- but the girls felt like THEY had made the decision. BUT they made their choice from outfits that I was totally cool with!!!!

I have NEVER bought clothes that are an advertisement for anyone or any company!! I made sure that my family knew this!!!

If I received a shirt with a message that I did not like, I would put it into the recycle box!!!

Please PM me if you have other questions!!

YOU CAN CONTROL what your children wear!!

Good Luck!!

Cindy

 

[dangerouschicken]

Shopping online is great. It shows up and they are thrilled to get new clothes, so it takes the hassle out of taking them shopping and combing through the garbage in the stores. Great stuff CAN be found online, as many people have said here, at Lands End, LL Bean, GapKids, and even Old Navy. You just have to be selective, and where better to do it than from home?

I have three daughters and have found online shopping to be the best way to find what you need, at the best price, and without the eyesores of department store kid's clothes.

 

[Guitartists]

It takes some time, but we shop around until we find things that are suitable. We have some rules like, no bare midriffs, no words on the butt of pants/shorts, no 2 piece swimsuits, no bare shoulders. NO lowride jeans! If they are very lightweight shirts then she layers them.

But yeah, it's frustrating to see what they are marketing to little girls. And the make-up! My 12 yr old can have sheer lip balms, girly colored nail polish (no reds or other adult woman colors) and we did get her ears pierced.. (no dangly or hoop earrings)

She's happy with her wardrobe.... it's still hip and cute, but without that skank factor. But of course... I've been conditioning her for this for YEARS...LOL She went through her Barbie stage and the rule was that she could only buy dolls and outfits that were appropriate

So she's always known the rules

 

[Jena]

I really just had to jump into this thread.

I am in the UK I don't have daughters I have 2 son, but really I feel for you and agree with you completely.

What ever happened to childhood???

I do have neighbours and friends with daughters. I shudder when they come to my door in their modern clothes in the middle of winter, looking like match girls.

Also recently I listened to a report here that the government has released saying that children today are more unhappy than at any time in the past.

Of course they blame us, the parents and guardians of children today.

Today on our news channel there is an item called "Pole Dancing for parents"...... WHY!!!!!!

They claim that we are selfish and denying our children a childhood of peace and play. Because we are selfish and bullying.

Well my questionis who is driving it? Who is making clothes that make litle girls look like pole dancers? Who is stressing children with constant testing and examinations and pressure from the age of nursery these days.

So if you start a campaign against these fashions, I would be right behind you. I do not have daughters,,,, but one day please God I may have a grand-daughter. I will still see little girls grow up trying to deal with the social pressures heaped upon them and I will pray that some day someone will start to see all out children as children, to be protected and nurtured not pushed into these MODERN... images of wrecked human beings.

You wrote this first post amazingly, and we could all feel your feelings, good for you. and Miss Prissy, I was sure you would be in this thread, with the way you have worked in your customary way to avoid these issues in your own life, for your own daughters.

It could be guaranteed that Mis Prissy and so many others here that live there lives in a wholesome way would feel the same on this matter.

Isn't that why we are Backyard Chicken People, looking for a different way of living in this insane world.

Good for all of you, and again you are not alone the same things are also impinging on the lives of our children here in the UK. Driven by the media and the pop culture.

Excellent post, excellent thoughts from all. Power to you.

Jena.

 

[Mom 2em All]

I skipped about five pages, so forgive me if it has already been said-

however, i have two daughters and have you seen the dress shoes for little girls??

Just try to find a pair of FLAT dress shoes for your toddler. I refused to buy shoes that had a heel for a little one trying to walk. I have gotten upset at shoe stores for over a decade now. And now that my one daughter is 13, and she wears a size seven- HA! Just try to get a pair of dress boots that aren't hooker boots or a pair of dressy sandals that don't have six inch heels on them. It is very difficult.

My ten year old is overweight. I have the HARDEST time finding her clothes that look nice. Apparently, anyone who needs to shop in the Juniors department have barbiedoll waists and a full bust- the necklines are ridiculous, and the pants are almost all hip-huggers. Almost all the shirts are made out of see-through material.
It is an all- day affair, and very emotionally stressful for my kids and me to find decent clothes.

On the same note- when my daughter was in fourth grade, the cheerleading coach made a poor choice of songs for them to dance/cheer to. I was so upset, I went to the principal of the school and had him pull the song- or, I told him I would pull my daughter off the team. It was his choice, just let me know. I dont know the name of the song- but it was about "my lovely lady lumps"...excuse me? They are in fourth grade? They dont even have, "lumps" much less to advertise them. He made the coach change songs- and she was furious.

 

[Chickenmaven]

My daughter is 14, When she was 12 or so, I explained to her that the goal of being "hot looking" means wanting to attract SEXUAL attention. She squealed, "Eauuuuwww!" And she quit complaining that I'd gotten rid of some shorts she'd outgrown, which had come to fit like "booty shorts".

On a related note, IMHO we need to understand and communicate to our daughters that relying on looks means giving up. When a woman emphasizes looking "attractive" (again, attractive = hot to men) in order to gain attention & social power, she gives up her power to those men.

 

[Chickenmaven]

Quote:
Oh, my Lord! That song speaks of bartering ones "attentions" for luxury goods. Seriously! Something about how the guys buy her Seven (brand) jeans and Dolce & Gabanna.

Reaching for my Mylanta...

 

[klf73]

Oh, I skipped some pages, but we have a dress code here at my house. My daughters are 13, 5, 1 and my sons are 10, 8, and 3. My daughter is not allowed to wear anything revealing nor anything that brings attention to her *parts*. Writing on the seat of her pants is a no-no, no belly showing, and no undies sticking out of her pants and she doesn't resist-because that's our rules. My son has a shirt that says "I'm hiding from my homework" because it fits him, but they don't have anything disrespectful on anything. The worst shirt my daugther has is one she got from a cousin and it says "I had a nightmare I was a blond" but she isn't allowed to wear it to school (per us). We got a lot of hand me down clothes from my brother's girlfriend for my 5yo, and there was a lot that we just passed on to the local clothes closet, because they were *slutty*. His girlfriend is definitely one of those types that dress like she is still 20 (she's 35), and her kids dress the same....

eta- I have found my biggest challenge is finding pants that my 5yo underwear don't stick out. I refuse to buy low cut undies for a 5 yo

 

[Robin'sBrood]

That first post cracked me up! My DD is 7 and left the left the 4-6X sizes this past fall.

I too was shocked when I actually had to start shopping in the 7-14 section... ESPECIALLY at Kohl's!

Thankfully I'm able to get Lands' End stuff for her at Sears, and we have Patsy Aiken -- Chez Ami -- in Raleigh and they open their warehouse to the public monthly with good deals. And for basic play stuff, I'll hit Target, Wal-Mart or some of the 2nd time around stores. It's crazy the stuff that's out there for little girls!