teenagers

[beak]

I have a good friend who is a single father. His daughter used to worship him. She is now 13 and is letting him know that his only use is food and shelter. He can't stand that she spends all her time away from him in her room or whatever. Problem is that her mother is still around. She is beyond worthless, has a boyfriend that doesn't work, live in apartments till they get evicted, come to his house and take his food while he's gone. Spend all the money they get from welfare on booze and pot. The daughter is starting to emulate her mother. My friend is ready to give up. She used to be such a sweet kid. It's really sad. If he gives up on her the kid will end up selling herself on the street. Drives me nuts.

 

[farmerlor]

If he's still living at home he's not too big to jerk him up and let him know that talking to you with ANYTHING less than absolute respect is unacceptable. You can cancel that cell phone, take his car (if he has one) and end his world as he knows it.
That said, my boy sometimes speaks to me like I'm one of his school friends. It's part of growing up and he's sort of trying on manhood to see how it feels. I tolerate it within limits only because he's an exemplary young man in every other aspect of his life. But he knows that if he does one thing that makes me mistrust him or the way he comports himself and I will put an end to all he knows.

 

[gumpsgirl]

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Oh! You don't want to get me started on this one right now, but I did want you to know that I am right there with you.

 

[iread]

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Well said. As someone who works with teens, I agree completely with your comment.

 

[wegotchickens]

What do you do when the TV, computer, cell phone, i-pod... ALL of it is taken away and you STILL get attitude and non-compliance?

She has no outings with friends, no social life at all, and is totally 'whatever." Said in a way hope I can never imitate...


I called Mom and said, "I'm sorry for everything I did as a teenager. Please forgive me and call her off!!"
Mom laughed hysterically...

 

[danamillette]

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Well, the cell phone is done. Cost me $200.00 to cancel the contract. But, I mean business. I dont get where I went wrong. I didnt think I was a bad person. I SO want to grab him by the scruff, but they have this whole "I called social services cuz u abuse me" attitude. It is what they are taught in school. That is fine for kids that are abused. I get it. But, that's not the case.

 

[GaDawg]

That's what we do. Take the phone away and she (DD) straightens up real quick.
I have always grounded my kids from what they love the most, that's when they listen the best.

I think kids have changed because parents have changed.

 

[Dar]

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my mom always tell me that she waited for the day my kids started to "act out" cause then i would know the poop i put her through...

well lets say that i NEVER put my mom through the poop that my son has put me through...it seems as the times go on so does the extent of what the kids think they can get away with..if i did half the things to my mom that my son has done...i still would not have landed....she would have knocked me that far into next week...lol (luv you mommy...lol)

 

[iread]

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LOL! My sister took my nephew's door off the hinges. Said that she had taken everything else away. The only thing left was his privacy! It worked after about 6 weeks. The nonchalance/attitude could only last so long.

 

[DTchickens]

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Well, the cell phone is done. Cost me $200.00 to cancel the contract. But, I mean business. I dont get where I went wrong. I didnt think I was a bad person. I SO want to grab him by the scruff, but they have this whole "I called social services cuz u abuse me" attitude. It is what they are taught in school. That is fine for kids that are abused. I get it. But, that's not the case.

ignore it, As a teen (for 2 years now) i went through the phase as well.. the whole, Distant from parents.. Talked bad towards mom (who i had "fought" with most of the time) , stayed in my room 24/7, etc.. but what caused me to do so is back then my mom always stayed in her room.. Whenever i said something to her she would yell at me, and a lot of stuff i really never bring up unless with close friends. what stopped it? i finally sat mom down and talked to her.. we actually started talking to each other as human beings, a month later my parents decided to tell us (bro and i) about their divorce... Now friends with mom, we hang out all the time. Dad not so much... After the divorce hes been kinda cranky about her and never lets it out so he more of lets it slip to us. i try to avoid him the best i can...

But yes, i tried the "IF you hit me.. i'll call child services" as most kids will.. and 99.9 percent of the time they will never follow through on it. I know i got slapped at least twice during those 2 years