That's not your worm!! Notes from the Funny Farm

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by WriterofWords, Mar 14, 2011.

  1. WriterofWords

    WriterofWords Has Fainting Chickens

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    Last weekend I dug the first worms for my feathered free-loaders, of course the ladies who are used to me carrying the long, pointy, worm provider informed the younger ones at the top of their lungs and chased me across the yard. So today I thought I'd dig out the tree holes over on the side yard where the pens are located. I picked up the shovel, which is the magic worm provider, and walked across the yard, followed by every wild-eyed hen on the place and most of the roos who were trying to look like they were too cool to worry about worms. I stopped at the first tree hole, tried to sink the shovel head into it and decided it was too hard and needed soaked,, this is important later. So I drag the hose over and start the water running in the Mexican Elder and go to work on another bush i know is ready to dig. The first shovel full of dirt turned over a huge gob of fat squirmy worms and the birds went nuts. Red the RIR hen who is one of the eldest here jumped on the dirt while it was still on the shovel and started scratching like crazy wit her eyes glowing red and rolling in her head. The others were all trying to fit into the hole in the dirt and grab worms as they fell off the shovel. I set the dirt down with Red riding it the whole way. The roosters finally gave up and jumped into the fray to grab worms and run madly away clucking like little girls in the Barbie department at Wal Mart, trying to convince their respective ladies that they had the best specimens set aside for just them. They only one having trouble getting a worm was Quack, my lone Runner Duck. He had no chance of beating the hens, especially Red, to the worms; and since he's taller they run in under him, he can't scratch like they do, so he's pretty much out of luck. I finished up on that tree hole and left them scratching in the dirt and went back to the first hole that was now full of water. I figured I could dig a few worms for Quack while the chickens were busy on the other side of the yard about 75 feet away.

    I moved the hose out of the tree hole over to another tree hole to fill up, the water was probably about 8 inches deep in this one and about 4 - 5 feet across,, it's a big tree hole for a Mexican Elder. I stuck the shovel in the water and it sunk down really easily now, so I pulled up a shovel full of wet gooey mud and worms, and set it to side for Quack, who was not where I thought he was. He had headed back to the pen, I guess he figured he wasn't going to get a worm so he'd go see if there was any snacks in the pen. I was about 10 feet from him, but there was a fence in between us. I was trying to get his attention by holding a big fat worm and calling his name,, in other words I'm standing there holding this 6 - 7 inch fat worm and yelling Quack! Quack! Quack! Two people riding by on horseback were looking at me kind of oddly,,, Anyway,,, I had my back to the chickens, who by now had realized I was no longer adding to their enjoyment, but had left the scene and was now digging somewhere else, so they headed my way. I stuck my hand out with the worm, dangling it just right so that Quack could see it and wiggled it again and called Quack! I didn't see Red until she ran between my legs and made a grab for Quack's worm! She knocked me off balance and I dropped the nice fat worm back into the tree hole in the water but it landed on big dirt clod! So I made a grab for the worm, screaming at the top of my lungs "NO!!!! That's MY worm!!" Of course the people on horseback had stopped to watch the circus. While I was focusing on Red and trying to get the worm back, Coby, Nugget's big blue son came in from the left with his greedy eyes on Quack's worm, Quack had finally seen the worm right before I drooped it and rather than come out of the pen had stuck his head through the fence. Coby tripped over his neck and started flapping his wings trying to get his balance, but didn't make it and fell into the tree hole. He sounded the predator alert,, I guess the thought it would look better if he blamed me?

    As Coby tripped, flapped, fell, and screamed; I lunged for the worm, missed, tripped over Red and landed in the tree hole with Coby. I stuck my hands out to try and catch myself, my knees hit the ground, and then I sunk into the mud in the tree hole half way up to my elbows. As I pulled one hand out and tried to brace myself to pull the other hand out the first hand sunk into the edge of the tree hole causing it to collapse and I almost did a face plant in the water. To add insult to injury, Blue Girl and Red ran up my back, onto my head and tried to grab the worm, from their perches on my back and head. Of course I tried to knock the bird off my head and slung a bunch of wet mud onto my face and hair, yay... I finally managed to get up on my knees and out of the tree hole, get the birds off my back and come to the realization that during this the worm had vanished back into the muddy water, lucky worm. I leaned forward to pull myself up on the fence just as Coby flapped like a fool trying to get some of the mud out of his feathers,, and threw most of it all over me. Quack was looking at me through the fence with a look that said he just couldn't get lucky. I felt so bad for him,, until I realized that the two people on horse back were still there and about to die from laughter. Two men were sitting on horseback, laughing so hard they were crying like little girls. I stood up with all the dignity possible considering I was covered in mud and a few feathers, and had been caught quacking loudly, screaming at the chickens not to steal my worm, and then playing in the mud while hens ran up and down my back and jumped off my head.

    I walked in my house,, into the bathroom to shower, looked in the mirror and discovered that the worm had not ended up back in the water.....
     
  2. Tala

    Tala Flock Mistress

    oh that was a good laugh! [​IMG]
     
  3. txhomegrown

    txhomegrown Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Thanks for the laugh, I needed it. [​IMG]
     
  4. In His Service

    In His Service Wise Men Still Seek Him

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    Catskills
    Quote:x2 [​IMG]

    wish I had been there!
     
  5. WriterofWords

    WriterofWords Has Fainting Chickens

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    Chaparral, New Mexico
    I love to make people laugh,, I'm just glad the guys on horseback couldn't see the worm!
     
  6. Imp

    Imp All things share the same breath- Chief Seattle

    You shall henceforth be known as:

    Rider of Worms

    Imp- you're too funny
     
  7. kathyinmo

    kathyinmo Nothing In Moderation

    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]

    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]

    You have the best stories! I bet the horse riders got a kick out of it. You probably made their day!
     
  8. Thegrayeyedgirl

    Thegrayeyedgirl Chillin' With My Peeps

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    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Mar 14, 2011
  9. WriterofWords

    WriterofWords Has Fainting Chickens

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    Dec 25, 2007
    Chaparral, New Mexico
    Oh yeah,, let's see this week I've had someone think I told them to rub glazed donuts on their chick's butts, and I've fought chickens for a worm,, there goes my reputation! LOL that's my teacher! The crazy one!!
     
  10. kathyinmo

    kathyinmo Nothing In Moderation

    Quote:Oh yeah, I liked the pastry butt story, too! [​IMG]
     

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