The bullying has to stop...children are dying

[AquaEyes]

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No, bullies bully because they are externalizing their own insecurities. Your rationale is that everyone should walk on eggshells because it's their own fault for setting off a bully.

 

[Dar]

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I totally have to agree. I'm only 33, but even when I was younger, if kids picked on us on the playground, we'd fight back. Not serious violence, but I sure pinched the crap out of some kids! The no-tolerance for violence policies dont allow for self defense. I dont agree with physical punishment by adults, but letting a couple kids work it out on their own isnt the worst thing to happen.

There's a difference. If you're being picked on because of what one person is saying, you have the support of what the others are saying in your favor. If you go to school and everyone is against you, and no one offers help, you feel defenseless. Animal and human behavioral studies have demonstrated that the propensity to fight back is relative to results of previous altercations -- if you just lost a fight, or keep getting beat down by everyone all around, you're less likely to stand up and challenge your opponent. When you have kids growing up "different" and hearing all around them that they are bad or evil, they can't build their self-esteem enough to fight back, and instead internalize what they keep hearing until they snap.

The bottom line is that there is no reason to allow a child to be continually tormented. Parents pay taxes to send their kids to school to learn, not to be harassed. Tell me -- if you were at work and a coworker was getting out of line and bullying you, would you just hit him in the face? Or would you report the incident to a person higher up? Which way should we teach our children to behave in school?

the sad part is the bullying doesnt stop at school.. they happen at work too.. over stupid things like parking spots or a spot in the fridge for your lunch and its not just men... and management does not do a thing about it unless it breaks a sexual harassment law or a human rights violation .. can you see it now... "excuse me (charge nurse).. nurse betty threw my lunch on the floor cause i put my lunch in her spot". the charge nurse would LHAO and tell the tattle tale to grow up!

 

[KristyHall]

I am a little disturbed at the idea that some people here are blaming the victim for bullying and also suggesting that a person handle bad situations with violence.

 

[redhen]

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It is heartbreaking..
I just wish that these kids would BELIEVE us when we say that it REALLY does get better. And that high school is really NOTHING in the long run of life.
Those bullies that are bothering you now, will NOT be there FOREVER. But you only have ONE life and its so short.... dont let anyone take that from you..ever.
Just wish they would believe ...

 

[Matthew3590]

I am not saying it is the victims fault for being bullied. Some one being annoying is relative.. For someone to be annoying you have to let them be annoying.

 

[AquaEyes]

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But is simply being different, without deliberate interaction (as in, I know I'm different, but I don't approach you) "annoying" enough to warrant bullying? We're all entitled to feelings, but our behavior is our responsibility. The bullies are thus entitled to feel annoyed, but feeling annoyed doesn't warrant bullying.

 

[punk-a-doodle]

Bullying is definitely not just about finding someone annoying. For instance, student one becomes friends with student two. Student two begins dressing, acting, and trying to be friends with the same people as student one. Students two begins fueling rumors about student one, gradually becoming more bold. That is just one more common high school example, and is fueled by insecurity and jealousy. Insecurity is usually the common link fueling bullying. Secure people also tend to not talk about/spread rumors about/otherwise bully people they find to be even unbearably annoying.

Viewing people as 'strong' and 'weak' is one defining characteristic of several personality disorders. It isn't that you have to have one to think this way (our culture does that well enough), but perhaps food for thought as to how it is not the healthiest coping strategy to make sense of one's environment.

 

[Matthew3590]

If you are bullied does it give you the right to take your own life because of it?

 

[kyeschicks]

I totally understand that guy's pain. I've been bullied and because of a car wreck 5 years ago now I'm emotionally hurt. Today I finally had the guts to tell the doctor I was visiting today that I'm depressed and suicidal. It was the longest talk I've ever had and now I'm on meds for major depressive disorder and social anxiety disorder. I will be submitted into a psychiatric place in about two weeks so they can keep an eye on me 24/7. Never been this devastated


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[Chickerdoodle13]

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Some kids feel as if this is the only escape. It is incredibly sad, and a very, very low place to be. No one should ever have to be there.

Unfortunately, a lot of bullying is passed down from parents into their children, and it will take a long time before is gets better, if it ever can. There really needs to be some kind of protection for the victim. Too often I hear of kids getting bullied and no action is taken. Then when the bullied kid takes matters into his or her own hands, they are punished severely. Unfortunately, our justice system often works in the same manner.