The bullying has to stop...children are dying

[punk-a-doodle]

Sorry - was at work and this thread has really grown! But yet it seems to remain civil

I don't see him as on the autism spectrum anywhere. But I'm not an expert even though I have dealt with plenty of autistic children through my job. More like raging ADHD and sometimes we think there is a split personality there. He likes to dress like a girl and takes on an entire new identity when he does. All his mannerism change completely. It isn't like typical play where they are exploring other gender roles. We are wondering if his obsession with this other girl is because he wants to be like her. He is definitely unlike any other child I have dealt with in working with preschoolers for 12 years now, plus having an ADD child of my own and a child with Sensory Integration Disorder.

Hm, interesting. Do you guys have a councelor there who has access to someone (a program, private practicing individual, etc) who can offer their assistance? I did work with one kid who dressed as a girl and changed mannerisms pretty starkly. In his case, he did not bully, but he was on watch for some pretty violent drives/fantasies. He was in his teens by the time I interacted with him though. In his case, there was sexual abuse in his background (and, if I recall correctly ADHD, but I'd have to check with my husband and at the time, coworker) that actually occured when he was a toddler, but seemed to have deep impacts in his later years. I'm not saying the child you teach has a similar background at all, but rather that with that list of observed behaviors that seem to cover some specifics, someone might be able to help find out what exactly is going on, and may be able to greater assist you as the parents sound like they are not at all willing to.

Thanks so, so much for trying to work witht he parents, school, and student, as some teachers just ridicule.​

 

[AquaEyes]

I posted this because a 14YO boy could no longer take the harassment. People here have argued that he did the wrong thing. I agree -- he should still be here with us.

I have read that if he committed suicide, he was weak. I agree -- the strongest edifice can still take only so much before crumbling, so this "weakness" is not a permanent personality trait, but the result of continual impact through harassment. It would be more correct to say "he was weakened." So does this mean we should let the weak(ened) fall by the wayside? What kind of society is that?

There was mention of "the pecking order" being disrupted in schools today. I don't like the idea of kids not being treated equally, and a "pecking order" implies that. When I hear "pecking order" I think "caste system." I think our society is (or at least should be) beyond that.

Let's change the situation. Say, for instance, there was a child who walked with crutches because of a neural tube defect. He'll be this way all his life. In school, he is being picked on, called Gimpy and Tiny Tim, and wherever he goes, he's made fun of. He tries to fit in, but he can't escape the bullies. He tries talking to teachers, but they don't want to interfere. He sees a counselor to help him sort out the mess that's developing in his head, but he's still depressed. He finally decides he can't take it anymore and commits suicide.

Now, let's hear all you people who say "he should learn to fight back" or "kids will be kids" chime in on this one.

A child -- let me emphasize -- A CHILD -- killed himself. Something is wrong with this picture. If you want to argue in circles, you're ignoring that point. What would you do if your child, facing similar harassment, did the same? And how would you feel hearing other people calling your child weak?

Seriously, people....

 

[SarahBeth9394]

Quote:
No. In fact, religious prejudice against gay people is the foundation of this case of bullying. Where else would the bullies get the idea that Jamey was going to hell for being different?

Without reading the individual articles I feel pretty confident to say that if they were Christain, Catholic, or any bible based faith they weren't really following the bible. The bible doesn't teach hatred or ignorance and that type of statement is.

 

[pbjmaker]

Quote:
Hm, interesting. Do you guys have a councelor there who has access to someone (a program, private practicing individual, etc) who can offer their assistance? I did work with one kid who dressed as a girl and changed mannerisms pretty starkly. In his case, he did not bully, but he was on watch for some pretty violent drives/fantasies. He was in his teens by the time I interacted with him though. In his case, there was sexual abuse in his background (and, if I recall correctly ADHD, but I'd have to check with my husband and at the time, coworker) that actually occured when he was a toddler, but seemed to have deep impacts in his later years. I'm not saying the child you teach has a similar background at all, but rather that with that list of observed behaviors that seem to cover some specifics, someone might be able to help find out what exactly is going on, and may be able to greater assist you as the parents sound like they are not at all willing to.

Thanks so, so much for trying to work witht he parents, school, and student, as some teachers just ridicule.

This is why I started working on my teaching degree - my son had a lot of issues in school, not because he was naughty but because he was disorganized. I would have had to get a 501 plan to force them to give him some basic accommodations but chose not to at the time because he needs to learn how to work with his ADD for the rest of his life. But they wouldn't even let him leave extra pencils in each classroom (Jr. HIgh ) because that isn't being "responsible". I swear in 6th, 7th grade I belonged to the e-mail of the day club about his inadequacies. He was bullied in Jr. High and ended up throwing a binder in one kids face out of frustration. Anywho , I am always very interested in these kids because I want to know the "why" behind the behavior. How can we fix the behavior (bullying included) if we are not understanding why this behavior is occurring. I don't see there being one sole explanation as to why certain kids bully or why certain kids grow past being a victim and others kill themselves.

 

[AquaEyes]

Quote:
No. In fact, religious prejudice against gay people is the foundation of this case of bullying. Where else would the bullies get the idea that Jamey was going to hell for being different?

Without reading the individual articles I feel pretty confident to say that if they were Christain, Catholic, or any bible based faith they weren't really following the bible. The bible doesn't teach hatred or ignorance and that type of statement is.

I'm not going to debate religion (because it will shut the thread down), but people can find whatever they want in that book -- good or bad, there are plenty of references either way (including their opinion and yours). But that's not the point.

A child killed himself because he couldn't take the harassment anymore, and thought things wouldn't get better.

That's the point.

 

[pbjmaker]

Quote:
Without reading the individual articles I feel pretty confident to say that if they were Christain, Catholic, or any bible based faith they weren't really following the bible. The bible doesn't teach hatred or ignorance and that type of statement is.

I'm not going to debate religion (because it will shut the thread down), but people can find whatever they want in that book -- good or bad, there are plenty of references either way (including their opinion and yours). But that's not the point.

A child killed himself because he couldn't take the harassment anymore, and thought things wouldn't get better.

That's the point.

I think there is a huge lack of support systems for many families these days because we tend to be more migratory as a society now then many years ago. It is terribly sad when anyone kills themselves, but especially a child.

 

[cassidy22]

If we are talking suicide and depression, instead of bullying...

I understand the dark cloud of depression, and the intense pain, and the feeling like NOTHING can make it better but going away permanently. The frustrating thing from the outside is that NOTHING is permanent, life CAN get better. We all go through bad times and we can ALL get through it, and it can get better. But it is SOOOO hard to convince someone in the throes of depression to ever be able to see that.

Does bullying cause suicide? I don't know, neither does anyone else. But it sure doesn't help.

 

[SarahBeth9394]

It doesn't matter what the "difference" in them is that they were bullied for either. So while I am sympathetic towards someone going through bullying I still think both bullying and suicide are wrong.

I am fine with not discussing the religious aspect but I do ask you to accept that there are bad apples in every group.

 

[cassidy22]

Hear Hear SarahBeth.


All people are different and unique, and every person has a story to tell and something to offer to this world.

NO one deserves to be bullied.

No one deserves to suffer through depression, I just wish that people knew how to get help, and that adequate help was available to help prevent suicide - no matter what the cause.


There are places that can help, like 1-800-suicide and http://suicideprevention.wikia.com/wiki/International_Suicide_Prevention_Directory

If you know anyone that needs help, there are resources that can help them, and it can be anonymous, for those who might be afraid of getting in trouble for talking about it.

 

[heatherindeskies]

This reminds me of the country song "Don't laugh at me... don't call me names..."
The best part of the song refers to the singer saying 'you don't have to be my friend, but leave me alone' or something to that effect.
I just don't understand how kids can be so cruel.