There are several things I wish to address here....
First is depression and suicide. Yes suicide is a selfish act, from an outside point of view, but not from the point of view of the person who commits suicide. By the time depression is at a suicidal level, clear thinking has gone by the wayside. The only thing the person is feeling is that those around them will be better off without him/her. The world has closed in to the point where there don't seem to be any other options. They have internalized all the bad stuff, they feel that they contribute nothing to the world, that things will never get better and life has no point. This is a mental ILLNESS. Healthy people do not think this way. Add to this developing young teen, and you have a serious situation. Kids don't think like adults, their brains and personalities are not fully developed. They tend to have a very egocentric view of the world (how many people here have felt that their parent's divorce was somehow their fault), and that feeds into the depression.
Secondly, in this case and many like it, bullying is long term, pervasive, continual and tolerated. It is not a single incident on a bus, or with a single bully. It is groups of kids, constant sly comments, internet and phone messages, a pervasive view of the child being bullied as sinful, queer, a whore, a witch, a pagan, ghetto, skank or whatever. A classic example of this sort of bullying is the "class slut" who has the reputation of sleeping with the football team, and putting out for anyone. I bet every adult of a certain age can name who had this reputation at their school, and I'm sure the teachers could tell you who it was for any given year. There are quite a few things written on this label, and it is just that a label, and is almost always unearned. The girls are usually the ones who decide who gets this label, and the boys are there to make sure it keeps going with an "oh I had her, she's easy". This label then opens the girl for additional bullying from both girls and boys, with suggestive comments, physical contact, snide remarks etc. The internet only makes it faster. You might be able to fight back one kid, but this type of bullying involves large groups, often the kids who are most popular with peers and teachers. The bullying is subtle, easily hid from adult authority, and constant. It is a form of social enforcement of the hierarchy in schools. Punching a single kid out doesn't help, and in the scenario of the "fat, gay kid" doing the punching, it simply becomes another notch for the bullies...as in "did you see Sir Wimpy trying to hit Tyler, what a epithet here".
Thirdly, changing this sort of bullying isn't going to happen with a confrontation or a single intervention. It requires a change in attitude towards those who are different, and a change of culture where belittling someone for a perceived difference isn't tolerated. Where it isn't tolerated by adults, others seeing the bullying, the target and the bullies. it requires a climate where speaking out doesn't end in retaliation. Until the perception of the world as a place where men or boys who don't resort to physical confrontation are referred to as "girly men", or where sexual innuendo is tolerated, things won't change.
First is depression and suicide. Yes suicide is a selfish act, from an outside point of view, but not from the point of view of the person who commits suicide. By the time depression is at a suicidal level, clear thinking has gone by the wayside. The only thing the person is feeling is that those around them will be better off without him/her. The world has closed in to the point where there don't seem to be any other options. They have internalized all the bad stuff, they feel that they contribute nothing to the world, that things will never get better and life has no point. This is a mental ILLNESS. Healthy people do not think this way. Add to this developing young teen, and you have a serious situation. Kids don't think like adults, their brains and personalities are not fully developed. They tend to have a very egocentric view of the world (how many people here have felt that their parent's divorce was somehow their fault), and that feeds into the depression.
Secondly, in this case and many like it, bullying is long term, pervasive, continual and tolerated. It is not a single incident on a bus, or with a single bully. It is groups of kids, constant sly comments, internet and phone messages, a pervasive view of the child being bullied as sinful, queer, a whore, a witch, a pagan, ghetto, skank or whatever. A classic example of this sort of bullying is the "class slut" who has the reputation of sleeping with the football team, and putting out for anyone. I bet every adult of a certain age can name who had this reputation at their school, and I'm sure the teachers could tell you who it was for any given year. There are quite a few things written on this label, and it is just that a label, and is almost always unearned. The girls are usually the ones who decide who gets this label, and the boys are there to make sure it keeps going with an "oh I had her, she's easy". This label then opens the girl for additional bullying from both girls and boys, with suggestive comments, physical contact, snide remarks etc. The internet only makes it faster. You might be able to fight back one kid, but this type of bullying involves large groups, often the kids who are most popular with peers and teachers. The bullying is subtle, easily hid from adult authority, and constant. It is a form of social enforcement of the hierarchy in schools. Punching a single kid out doesn't help, and in the scenario of the "fat, gay kid" doing the punching, it simply becomes another notch for the bullies...as in "did you see Sir Wimpy trying to hit Tyler, what a epithet here".
Thirdly, changing this sort of bullying isn't going to happen with a confrontation or a single intervention. It requires a change in attitude towards those who are different, and a change of culture where belittling someone for a perceived difference isn't tolerated. Where it isn't tolerated by adults, others seeing the bullying, the target and the bullies. it requires a climate where speaking out doesn't end in retaliation. Until the perception of the world as a place where men or boys who don't resort to physical confrontation are referred to as "girly men", or where sexual innuendo is tolerated, things won't change.
