The bullying has to stop...children are dying

[AquaEyes]

Quote:
The sad part is that he was being treated. He was seeing a counselor regularly. I think "putting it out there" was a desperate attempt at acceptance. When he "put it out there" on the internet, he did find some support, but had to sift through the hate to get to it. In his community, being what he was at his age is not easy. I'm 35YO, and when I moved here, I felt like I stepped ten to fifteen years into the past with regards to "certain attitudes" that related to me, as compared to where I lived before (Long Island). But I'm an adult, and I developed a thick enough skin to tell someone off (in a cheerful, polite way, of course....

) if I was disrespected for "being different." This was a kid. He was still growing into himself. He was at an age of being extremely self-conscious, trying desperately to fit in, and vulnerable to perceived authority in others. If he was plucked from this area and moved elsewhere, he could have continued to grow and mature without the harassment in school to become a person confident in himself, and carry a "to heck with the rest" attitude toward those who didn't accept him. But he didn't have time to get there. And for that, I'm saddened...and angry. And that was why I started this post.

 

[mom'sfolly]

I would also mention for kids these days, the internet is not just a place to go for information. It is the young people's living room and clubhouse. It is where they hang out with friends after school, where they go to talk to the hotie they met at the game, where they go to find music, where they go to shop. This is particularly true of young teenagers who don't drive, and who have parents that want them close. For kids these days, the internet is the library, the music store, the arcade, the mall, the movie theater and the local hang out all rolled into one. Telling a kid to quit the internet to avoid bullying is like total grounding would have been back when I was young. You completely limit a kids social interactions when you take that away.

Lots of older people say kids can't communicate without a screen. This may be true, but the people who actually study these things say that kids now actually communicate more, but in very similar ways to how kids have always communicated.

As for the whole religion thing, it really isn't part of this discussion. Schools allow prayer. While religion can give people strength and hope it can also be a breeding ground for intolerance and hatred. There are a lot of people out there who think wicca is evil, and that it's followers are Satanic. There are people who either think all Muslims are terrorists, or who think an official who is sworn to office on a Koran is somehow unAmerican. There are folks who think Catholics are idolators. Just espousing a religious belief doesn't make you a paragon of virtue, and there are plenty of bullies in pulpits.

 

[deerman]

Quote:
The sad part is that he was being treated. He was seeing a counselor regularly. I think "putting it out there" was a desperate attempt at acceptance. When he "put it out there" on the internet, he did find some support, but had to sift through the hate to get to it. In his community, being what he was at his age is not easy. I'm 35YO, and when I moved here, I felt like I stepped ten to fifteen years into the past with regards to "certain attitudes" that related to me, as compared to where I lived before (Long Island). But I'm an adult, and I developed a thick enough skin to tell someone off (in a cheerful, polite way, of course....

) if I was disrespected for "being different." This was a kid. He was still growing into himself. He was at an age of being extremely self-conscious, trying desperately to fit in, and vulnerable to perceived authority in others. If he was plucked from this area and moved elsewhere, he could have continued to grow and mature without the harassment in school to become a person confident in himself, and carry a "to heck with the rest" attitude toward those who didn't accept him. But he didn't have time to get there. And for that, I'm saddened...and angry. And that was why I started this post.

I understand some area of this country are alot different. One thing i wonder about this young boy, what would have happen if he had waited till he was older ,before being open about being gay. Not to say he should have to, but we know a lot of haters of gays in some areas more than others.

Maybe at a older age he would been able to handle the haters.

No matter who is to blame it is still a shame this young man took his life.

 

[StevenW.]

Amigo -

We strongly discourage religious and political topics.

Right from the rules.

I'm still wondering how you all got to Religion on this topic..​

 

[Q9]

Actually, people make religious-sounding comments all the time to make a point, even if they don't actually believe it. Those bullies, as Amigo said, were Godless jerks who were behaving in an un-Christian manner. You're right, AE, anything can be found in the Bible - if you're willing to take it out of context.

My question is, why wasn't this insanity dealt with swiftly? Oh, wait, we're dealing with a government institution. Whatever happened to bullies getting a good paddling? These bullies should have been punished in some way severe enough to make them quit it.

Another question - were none of the other kids willing to stick up for a victim of bullying? If even one random classmate had stood up for the guy, things probably would have turned out better. This is why I despise the public school system - it seems like nobody's willing to stand up for what's right for fear of punishment - or for fear of being associated with the "gay guy" and being the next victim of bullying. I disagree STRONGLY with homosexuality, but at the same time, it does not merit being harrassed by jerks.

Of course, nobody's willing to suggest that anyone - especially the victim - use physical force to stop the bullying, though CLEARLY other means are NOT working.

Always comply with whoever the aggressor is, and never resist. There's the modern way of dealing with threats, and it's enforced in public schools.

 

[ladyride]

From the beginning of time human beings have bullied each other either because of different skin color, different belief systems, different body shapes, different perceptions of what we think is normal sexual preferences. You will find world wide people making these people appear less than they should be. Until we learn to leave the hate behind & accept people for who we are these tragedies will continue to occur. We have to start as a society to teaching love & tolerance go hand in hand, reach down to help someone less fortunate than ourselves, instead of walking over or stepping on others to get what we perceive as the top. We have got to learn that all of man was created equal no one person is better than the next.
We have to offer support to our kids so they will feel secure in who they are & what they want in life. They have got to know they can come to us the grownups for that love & support to overcome the negativity in their lives. We are going to start listening to them as well. The internet is a bunch of spectators just waiting to cheer someone on for wanting to take their life sad really. The effects of being bullied you live with for the rest of your life somehow always thinking you are less than everyone else.
I was picked on for 3 years because I went to a school that the richer folk attended & I was really poor but mom wanted better for me. Through most of my early years I never thought I was good enough really low self esteem. Therapy helped more than most would like to accept as being beneficial. It was there I learned suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Pay attention to your kids whether they are the one's being picked on or they are the bullies & change their behavior, because either way something is causing them so much pain they can not cope with what is going on their lives. It is what we do as PARENTS that teach our children to become better loving human beings in their lives.

 

[AquaEyes]

Quote:
The sad part is that he was being treated. He was seeing a counselor regularly. I think "putting it out there" was a desperate attempt at acceptance. When he "put it out there" on the internet, he did find some support, but had to sift through the hate to get to it. In his community, being what he was at his age is not easy. I'm 35YO, and when I moved here, I felt like I stepped ten to fifteen years into the past with regards to "certain attitudes" that related to me, as compared to where I lived before (Long Island). But I'm an adult, and I developed a thick enough skin to tell someone off (in a cheerful, polite way, of course....

) if I was disrespected for "being different." This was a kid. He was still growing into himself. He was at an age of being extremely self-conscious, trying desperately to fit in, and vulnerable to perceived authority in others. If he was plucked from this area and moved elsewhere, he could have continued to grow and mature without the harassment in school to become a person confident in himself, and carry a "to heck with the rest" attitude toward those who didn't accept him. But he didn't have time to get there. And for that, I'm saddened...and angry. And that was why I started this post.

I understand some area of this country are alot different. One thing i wonder about this young boy, what would have happen if he had waited till he was older ,before being open about being gay. Not to say he should have to, but we know a lot of haters of gays in some areas more than others.

Maybe at a older age he would been able to handle the haters.

No matter who is to blame it is still a shame this young man took his life.

Deerman, not everyone is able to step out of the closet and "surprise" people by saying who and what they are. Some are assumed to be so because of how their behavior is assessed by others, and treated as such. To be a bit more frank, Jamey was not about to win any macho contests. But that doesn't matter. He was still a person -- a kid -- and for some reason, picking on him wasn't seen as being as abhorrent as picking on a kid in crutches. How long would a school tolerate that before stepping in? What I'm getting at is there is a thin (or not so thin) veneer of complacency by some when it comes to picking on gay kids. The same treatment to a kid with another difference -- a disability, physical appearance, religion, etc -- often draws a swifter reaction. But for kids like Jamey, we hear "oh, he should just toughen up and fight back."

 

[Glenmar]

Let's not forget about Matthew Shepherd.

 

[Q9]

Quote:
I understand some area of this country are alot different. One thing i wonder about this young boy, what would have happen if he had waited till he was older ,before being open about being gay. Not to say he should have to, but we know a lot of haters of gays in some areas more than others.

Maybe at a older age he would been able to handle the haters.

No matter who is to blame it is still a shame this young man took his life.

Deerman, not everyone is able to step out of the closet and "surprise" people by saying who and what they are. Some are assumed to be so because of how their behavior is assessed by others, and treated as such. To be a bit more frank, Jamey was not about to win any macho contests. But that doesn't matter. He was still a person -- a kid -- and for some reason, picking on him wasn't seen as being as abhorrent as picking on a kid in crutches. How long would a school tolerate that before stepping in? What I'm getting at is there is a thin (or not so thin) veneer of complacency by some when it comes to picking on gay kids. The same treatment to a kid with another difference -- a disability, physical appearance, religion, etc -- often draws a swifter reaction. But for kids like Jamey, we hear "oh, he should just toughen up and fight back."

My feelings have always been that ANYONE who witnesses another kid being bullied for any reason should take up for him or her. Why do I even hope that that will ever happen? It looks like we've got a generation of conformists and cowards, with incompetents being trusted to deal with bullying.

 

[ladyride]

Wow Q9 huge statement that accurately says it all !! That is really so sad considering our generation fought some died trying to get equal rights for everyone.