The Front Porch Swing

[LBejaran]

@Ibejaran... you are going to run into some real t-total jerks (to put it very nicely) in life. This guys sounds like a light weight compared to some of the people I have worked with. I had to deal with total immorality where I worked - affairs were as common as toilet paper, women getting pregnant by another married man than their own, married men having same sex affairs, our married bosses trying to have relationships or a fling with employees (one did several times), employees having sex in the office at work -on the boss' desk, the boss coming to work drinking, employees coming to work drunk, people telling lies on you trying to get you fired, people making up lies about your personal life because they didn't like you, yada yada yada... I sure DON'T miss my job! LOL Your boss might be a jerk but it could be much much MUCH worse.

I know.

I just felt the need to vent. I don't understand how people can be so very stupid/arrogant/bleh and then turn around and do good deeds. It's weird and frustrating and it really shows you how very strange people can be. I don't think I could act that way. I'm happy just being my own moral, sane self. I don't need all that fire and brimstone talk to get me feeling like I am a good person. That he needs to preach it is his problem and I only have to deal with it a couple hours every week.

I'm gonna surf the web now. I finished all my work and am waiting for several clients to send me revisions and emails. I'm so bored! This is one of those times I wish I worked from home. At least there I could do my work and then get to painting an egg.

 

[enola]

While I was growing up I kept a list of all the things I was never going to do to my children. High on that list were 2 things - I was never going to spank them and I was never going to make them go to church. There were other things, of course, like make them clean their rooms and then "inspect" them afterwards, but I digress. (Again. ) We didn't get spanked very often but I can tell you looking back that I don't recall a hand ever being laid to a backside that wasn't well deserved. And that was despite my parents both having alcohol issues. But here's the key thing - I have to really think back to remember those spankings - they aren't the first thing I think of when I remember my childhood so they obviously couldn't have been that traumatic. What I remember is laughter and teasing and Ma making nothing into supper for 7 people. And hugs. When we did get a spanking, after a few minutes the "spanker" would come into our room, hold out his/her arms, and just hug us. Ma said "The most important part of the spanking is the hug afterwards. That's how you tell your kids that the spanking wasn't because they were bad, it was because they were good but had deliberately decided to do something so bad that it needed to be stopped." I hated going to church. I felt so out of place, bored, and the more they woke us up on Sunday morning and braided our hair, put us into shiny shoes that pinched, and made us sit still through lectures and badly sung hymns the more I hated it. Not the message - I rarely heard a word that was said up there anyway. My toes hurt and my butt hurt and that person up there could have cared less. The notion that in order for the world to see me as a"good kid" I had to sit still for an hour and prove it stuck in my craw. So one particularly rebellious morning - I think I was 13 or so - I told Dad that I wasn't going to go anymore. I didn't ask him if I could stay home. I simply told him I wasn't going, and then I waited for the explosion. It never came. He said, "Fine. I don't think you need to go anymore either." Um, excuse me? Who are you and what have you done with my dad?? He passed the toast to Ma, who sat there with her jaw dropped open. Dad said, "The purpose for church is to worship something bigger than yourself and remind you of your place in the Good Lord's world. You are a good girl. You're respectful, helpful, and you know God the way you see Him. You know where He fits in your life, and if you don't think sitting in church is making your faith any stronger then you and God will just walk the rest of the way together. He'll help you more than the minister will." And that's when I became what I call a Golden Ruler. No, it's not a cult. There isn't a building for it or a leader of it. It's just me and the Good Lord living within me. I think everything there is to be learned about faith and goodness, everything the Bible teaches, every word ever spoken by a minister, Rabbi, priest, or preacher and every off-key hymn can be summed up in those simple words. It doesn't need flowery words for a reminder, and it's my rock. It's living as well as I can, making mistakes, making up for those mistakes, and doing better the next time, knowing that that is all God asks of me. It's remembering that I didn't want someone lecturing me about all of the ways I was bad, ordering me to do this or that in order to prove my faith, so I don't have the moral superiority to impose my faith and beliefs on someone else. It's the comfort of knowing that when I find people of like values, it's okay to share but never okay to force. Seems to me a misplaced case of moral superiority is what your boss is suffering from, and unfortunately there is no way to deal with that kind of personality. Um, I forgot the question.......

I could not have said that better! Are you sure you aren't my sister??

 

[LindaB220]

@Ibejaran... you are going to run into some real t-total jerks (to put it very nicely) in life. This guys sounds like a light weight compared to some of the people I have worked with. I had to deal with total immorality where I worked - affairs were as common as toilet paper, women getting pregnant by another married man than their own, married men having same sex affairs, our married bosses trying to have relationships or a fling with employees (one did several times), employees having sex in the office at work -on the boss' desk, the boss coming to work drinking, employees coming to work drunk, people telling lies on you trying to get you fired, people making up lies about your personal life because they didn't like you, yada yada yada... I sure DON'T miss my job! LOL Your boss might be a jerk but it could be much much MUCH worse.

Ditto, ditto, ditto All of the above.

On a positive note, I feel terrific today. My babies are in Shreveport headed this way. This evening or tomorrow morning. I put all my troubles in God's hands and a weight has been lifted.

 

[perchie.girl]

While I was growing up I kept a list of all the things I was never going to do to my children. High on that list were 2 things - I was never going to spank them and I was never going to make them go to church. There were other things, of course, like make them clean their rooms and then "inspect" them afterwards, but I digress. (Again. <sigh>)

We didn't get spanked very often but I can tell you looking back that I don't recall a hand ever being laid to a backside that wasn't well deserved. And that was despite my parents both having alcohol issues. But here's the key thing - I have to really think back to remember those spankings - they aren't the first thing I think of when I remember my childhood so they obviously couldn't have been that traumatic. What I remember is laughter and teasing and Ma making nothing into supper for 7 people. And hugs. When we did get a spanking, after a few minutes the "spanker" would come into our room, hold out his/her arms, and just hug us. Ma said "The most important part of the spanking is the hug afterwards. That's how you tell your kids that the spanking wasn't because they were bad, it was because they were good but had deliberately decided to do something so bad that it needed to be stopped."

I hated going to church. I felt so out of place, bored, and the more they woke us up on Sunday morning and braided our hair, put us into shiny shoes that pinched, and made us sit still through lectures and badly sung hymns the more I hated it. Not the message - I rarely heard a word that was said up there anyway. My toes hurt and my butt hurt and that person up there could have cared less. The notion that in order for the world to see me as a"good kid" I had to sit still for an hour and prove it stuck in my craw. So one particularly rebellious morning - I think I was 13 or so - I told Dad that I wasn't going to go anymore. I didn't ask him if I could stay home. I simply told him I wasn't going, and then I waited for the explosion. It never came.

He said, "Fine. I don't think you need to go anymore either." Um, excuse me? Who are you and what have you done with my dad?? He passed the toast to Ma, who sat there with her jaw dropped open. Dad said, "The purpose for church is to worship something bigger than yourself and remind you of your place in the Good Lord's world. You are a good girl. You're respectful, helpful, and you know God the way you see Him. You know where He fits in your life, and if you don't think sitting in church is making your faith any stronger then you and God will just walk the rest of the way together. He'll help you more than the minister will."

And that's when I became what I call a Golden Ruler. No, it's not a cult. There isn't a building for it or a leader of it. It's just me and the Good Lord living within me. I think everything there is to be learned about faith and goodness, everything the Bible teaches, every word ever spoken by a minister, Rabbi, priest, or preacher and every off-key hymn can be summed up in those simple words. It doesn't need flowery words for a reminder, and it's my rock. It's living as well as I can, making mistakes, making up for those mistakes, and doing better the next time, knowing that that is all God asks of me. It's remembering that I didn't want someone lecturing me about all of the ways I was bad, ordering me to do this or that in order to prove my faith, so I don't have the moral superiority to impose my faith and beliefs on someone else. It's the comfort of knowing that when I find people of like values, it's okay to share but never okay to force. Seems to me a misplaced case of moral superiority is what your boss is suffering from, and unfortunately there is no way to deal with that kind of personality.

Um, I forgot the question.......

I know this was for ibjaran but t spoke to me very strongly. Blooie the last time I was in church I was about 16 or 17. What turned me away were what I call the Born Agains..... the zelots not religion in general persay. I follow the Golden rule. But I dont read the bible.... Oh I read it once.... I liked the old testament more Loved the stories and songs. Um er later I found out that Psalms were songs.

LOL I didnt get spanked unless I scared the crap out of mom. OMG. usually when I went somewhere without telling her or didnt come back when I was supposed to.... Now dad had a strategy to get me to "pay attention" usually when i was whining over something I wanted in the store... If he said stop boy Id stop because he would either thump me on top of the head with a finger thump. Or grab the small hairs at the back of my neck. But for the most part it was the disappointed stare from either one that melted me down into my shoes.... Sigh I never got a hug from any of it. No release from my own self torture.

In defence of mom and dad ..... Dad was raised in a family where TB went through all his sisters.... Hugging wasnt done in general in my family.

deb

 

[Frances Salazar]

Its great to be a valuable employee. Graphic and web design are excellent skills. Your personality keeps you open minded and non judgmental that is why you are more adept to new ideas and information. As for your boss's beliefs and ideas of children's discipline & behavior, he is full of horse dung! As for being selective, that is alright. You should be. Don't settle for a fat shamer. It is also alright to have a relationship with someone who isn't perfect. To others we are not perfect either. Allow yourself time to enjoy what is. Enjoy what you do like because changing someone is impossible. I don't know I feel like I'm spinning in circles trying to say something. Enjoy the attention.

 

[luvblues7]

Ditto, ditto, ditto All of the above.

On a positive note, I feel terrific today. My babies are in Shreveport headed this way. This evening or tomorrow morning. I put all my troubles in God's hands and a weight has been lifted.

And that my friend is how it works. So glad to hear your spirit has been refreshed!

 

[Triple Willow]

When I was growing up females had to wear a dress to church, no possible way around it. I HATED IT! I wore jeans and t-shirts all week long and played in the dirt with my boy neighbors, but come Sunday I had to put on the most embarassing torture suit that I felt literally naked in and yep a pair of matching torture shoes. Hated it! Can't explain how bad I hated it! LOL So when I got to be a teen I quit going. And yep, when some neighbor/deacons came by the house for a visit and asked why we didn't come anymore I told them why- I didn't like wearing dresses! They didn't have anything to say. So yes, I am a firm believer that kids (and grown-ups) should be dressed comfortably to go to church or anywhere else. When I got grown I started wearing pants to church and didn't give a rip what ANYBODY said about it. I still do and will continue to. Nobody should give somebody a reason to hate church! I also think that the church should do their part, without becoming a social club or a playground, to make everybody enjoy church. Going to church to learn about God and worship Him should not be dry and boring.

As far as making kids go to church, yep I think you should. Not because "I'm the boss and you do what I say!" but SIMPLY because you love them with all your heart and you care ABOVE ALL THINGS about where your child will spend eternity. As the bible says, NOBODY will get to heaven unless they are born again, entering a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ - plain and simple. That's just how it is, Christianity in a nutshell. I have family that I have begged to take their kids to church and even offered several times to take them myself. They won't have any part of it. Their kids are growing up with no knowledge of God. It is a sad and scary thing to me.

 

[Triple Willow]

Ditto, ditto, ditto    All of the above.  

On a positive note, I feel terrific today.  My babies are in Shreveport headed this way.  This evening or tomorrow morning.   I put all my troubles in God's hands and  a weight has been lifted. 

I'm really glad to hear that you are having a good day. Also glad that you are letting God do your heavy lifting.

 

[BCMaraniac]

Ditto, ditto, ditto All of the above.

On a positive note, I feel terrific today. My babies are in Shreveport headed this way. This evening or tomorrow morning. I put all my troubles in God's hands and a weight has been lifted.

Hey Linda...glad you feel better today. I know you can't wait for your babies.....mine are in the incubator....day 4. I am so glad you could lay those things at the Lord's feet. The hardest time I have had is when I give Him all but one little corner of my blanket of troubles .....then before I know it, I've pulled it all back into my lap. Then I have to repent and turn it ALL back over to Him. It doesn't work any other way.

 

[LindaB220]

Quick question. I haven't had time to start my Fermented feed (dumb) and I will be putting ACV in the water. I have some NutriDrench for heat problems and to add electrolytes. Can I use a few drops in their water? Don't want to screw up.