The hubby wants to join the airforce.. -_-

[MrChicken207]

They are trying to get rid of the "what you want to hear" recruiters, but it's a slow process. I guess they should look for some more "volunteers" from the recruiting ranks. they like to have recruiters who are more like job coaches, instead of politicians. that way it makes the entire military look a bit better.

 

[BC_Farms]

I hope I don't offend anyone, but joining the military is harder the older you are. Even 24 is a little old. I say that because he probably isn't in as good of shape as the 18 year old recruits...which he can get in, but it'll be tougher. Also the older you get the more attached to things you get. So right now he's attached to you and the kids and the current lifestyle you lead. I'm not saying that it isn't feasible, but I'm not sure if it's going to give him what he's looking for. I think that for some reason he may be feeling out of control and wants that in his life. Maybe he wants new skills that you can only really get in the military. With the military you have to prepared for a lot of different things. You can move around a lot, work all over the world etc. Make sure that no matter what the recruiter is telling him that he knows this...because while the recruiter might not be lying...at the end of the day the recruiter isn't in charge of your life in the military.

Maybe he's bored with his current job too.

As for being supportive...I don't think he's being very supportive of you and your family with this idea.


Good luck.

 

[Three Cedars Silkies]

Such hard decisions. One thing to know is the the Air Force now has outsourced their recruiting. This is helpful because there is no conflict of interest with a recruiter misinforming recruits just to make their quota.

Another issue is that each branch of the service is easily meeting their quota each year and are only taking the best qualified candidates. I'm certain your DH would qualify with no problem but because recruiting is up he may not easily get the job of his choice.

I believe that you can choose to live off base in the Air Force...perhaps not in the Army...each branch has their own regulations.

Yes, you can "flunk" the military so to speak. If he cannot conform and meet all fitness requirements, take direction and be an integral part of a team, then he may be discharged.

Perhaps he could try it and you can stay home for a while and see how it goes. He will live on base in a barracks if he you are not with him. My daughter is in the Army but did her job training (AIT) at an Air Force base in Texas....they call it the "Chair Force"....

It can be a wonderful opportunity but as mentioned by previous posters, if you are going to eventually be together, it will have to be a mutual decision. It's not like having a job and coming home. Basically you are owned to some extent. Benefits are good, job is secure and retirement is great...but you both have to be willing for it to work.

Good luck!!

 

[AngieChick]

As others have mentioned, military life involves the entire family, not just the one in the service. I am an Air Force brat, my father was in for my entire childhood. There were many positives about growing up as a military child, but it would be dishonest to say that it was all roses. For much of my adult life I felt that every few years I had to move, I would just start itching for a change, always looking for that "right" place. Only now am I enjoying the consistency of living in one place for years. We have lived in this area for 6 years and have no intent to ever leave. Making friends here and feeling a comfort that can only happen when you live in one place for awhile is a luxury. It feels strange, and it's taken until I'm 37 to really see what I missed. My husband has lifelong friends, ones that he's known since he was born. I always approached friendship as temporary. We would make friends in school, but we always knew that with short notice one of us was eventually going to have to move. In a way it made me outgoing out of necessity, but allowing myself to emotionally invest in friends is still hard. When I was 12, we moved from CA to MI. While it was a wonderful experience for me, and gave me my love of nature, that move in particular was extremely painful for my mother. We had lived in CA just long enough that she became comfortable making good friends, and had a job that she loved. It was the first time in her adult life that she had allowed herself to become close to people. When we moved to MI it took her quite awhile to find employment as there were so many other military wives looking for jobs in that small town, which added financial stress into the picture. She told me many years later that the trauma of that move put her into a deep depression and she was suicidal for a bit. My mother came through it, but only in the past few years (30 years later) has she made some really close friends again. It scarred her and made her emotionally distant to new people. The reason that she has reached that milestone is because they are now retired and settled into where they know they are going to stay. My mother lived through a horrendous childhood to become an emotionally stable adult, she is a very strong person, but it was still very rough on her.

Your husband needs to know not to look to the military to "give him direction" or to fix him. In order to have a positive experience in the military all of you have to already be on the ball and level headed. The divorce rate for military employees is really high, it's a rough way of life for many. There are those who it suits perfectly, but your family seems to be one that could suffer from it. You seem to be a person that thrives on consistency and your husband seems to lack follow through and direction.

Knowing your own family's limitations doesn't make you less of a patriot, it just makes you human.

Good luck reasoning with him about it, hopefully he will get distracted from it soon.

 

[PineappleMama]

My SIL and her hubby thought when he was in the forces that they'd have a base house too... nope. Nothing. They had to live in a rat hole for a LONG time, a very expensive rat hole. They lived on Ramen Noodles until he was done with that particular stint because after paying for housing, etc it was all they could afford. Things got a lot better after that stint, but it was rough. Now, that's not to say that they wouldn't provide room for a single person, he could have had a spot in the barracks, but not for the spouse. They wanted to live together so this was their only option.

I hope he's not just assuming that you'll have a place to live if he signs himself up... it depends entirely on which base, how many folks already there, etc. And starting pay is not much, ala SIL/BIL's experience.

That's a dose of reality... what is he going to do if he signs up and they tell him to report, but you can't come. Is he going to be okay with that? Abandoning you, your home, etc. Or is he going to expect you to dump everything and move outside the base on a pittance. That's definitely something you'll need to talk about. Me myself... I wouldn't stand for it... marriage is a partnership and a partner doesn't make decisions that only benefit them while punishing the other. If mine wanted to stay partnered with me then this particular 'dream' would have to take a backseat... for our marriage's sake and our kids. But that's me.

I do not envy your situation at all. Kinda reminds me of how Homer is always coming up with another crazy thing to drive Marge nuts.... "You know I always wanted to.... "

Best of Luck

 

[twentynine]

He's going to enlist, basic training (Lacland AFB TX, MOS training where ever), I garauntee you ain't living with him while he is doing basic, then he is going to be at best an E-2.

Does he understand what he is getting into?

Way less than $600 a week for a long long time.

On base housing, not during basic or MOS training, lots of bases do not have enough enlisted housing and housing allowance is not enough to cover expense.

The guy needs a big dose of reality.

"Life is hard, it gets harder if you are stupid."
John Wayne

 

[Alabama ee]

The military helps a lot of folks become focused. It will be hard on you both, but it might be worth it. He might even become a more disciplined student in college.

 

[PineappleMama]

I missed the bit about your kiddos.

Band is available in many places, though not always that young... it's not a NEED, but a want...

But for your other one... there is NO guarantee at all that a similar class would be available, or that it'd be a snap to get her into it... wasn't the first time where you are now, doubt it'd be easy elsewhere. No class, falls further behind.

That reason alone would be enough to make me put my foot down. It is your job to provide for and protect your kids. You know that, but maybe he doesn't. Bad enough he's callously disregarding your feelings about your home, telling you to quit a job that not only provides income, but that you love, and that wouldn't be allowed if on base. But to put your children's welfare lower on the totem pole than his own ambitions is just WRONG in my opinion.

I hate to say this... but is there any chance, any at all, that maybe he WANTS you to leave him? He'd come out smelling like roses (see posts about supporting 200% for example) and you'd be the bad guy... when in reality you're protecting you and your children from a rash decision that could hurt. Is there any chance that he's feeling constrained by the wife and two kids at the ripe old age of 26? Wants to sow his oats, spread his wings, see the world... without the guilt of abandoning you? I really hope not, honestly, but if he was feeling that way, well many would consider his desire to serve as honorable... even if it meant abandoning you guys. He gets what he wants and isn't judged for it... actually comes out as a hero. A lot of folks have trouble being young and with all that responsibility (just look at my Sis).

You really need to get to the bottom of his motivations... is he wanting to be free... is he being deluded by some influence... is he thinking he can one up his dad by NOT being dishonorably discharged (father and son issues do cause a lot of problems sometimes)... is he upset that your business is doing well and would prefer you to be unemployed and stuck at home (it has happened) and this would guarantee that (only reason I mention that one is he knows about your business and that you'd have to give it ALL up to tag along after him and has already Decreed that you will, wee bit controlling there)

You have to find out WHY this suddenly hit him and why he's so insistent on this rash decision... until you know the Why you're never going to be able to get through to him.

 

[Boyd]

my earlier opinion was removed so I just want to say SHM to please look at this with a touch of skepticism. If I were in your shoes I'd be worried.

 

[Katy]

Quote:
So was mine..... and I second what Boyd says.