THe i want to slap my stepdaughter upside her head rant by Conny

[tdgill]

Quote:
The word "more" isn't the problem. The "I love you more" game has been explained several times in this thread already. I would be happy to hear what you think once you understand what is being discussed.

I do understand what is being discussed. I do understand "the game" I love you more. I do understand that someone else didnt understand apparently.....and when she posted "i love you way more than this one does" that the post was removed. And hubby was mad. Not surprising. Maybe the daughter should have just removed wifey's post. No different than what mom did. Sounds like they are enjoying the drama. Just refuse to fight. Its easy. I hope you understand that the defense and explanation of this I love you more game is pointless, and if you've read any of my other posts regarding this topic, you already know what I think. So, I'm glad you're happy to hear it.

ahhhh just go ahead and slap the brat already.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
Ken is a father and Sara is a daughter, living with us, and she would never do soemthing like that to me. I do get it.

Omgoodness..thats not how I meant it Debi...... and I didnt say you didnt get it hun; I was just saying father-daughter / father-son /mother - daughter / mother-son relationships are different. I didnt know Ken had a daughter, only heard you talk about your son and step sons. Certainly didnt mean it the way you read it.

Written text... go figure

LOL, you hear more about the boys because that cause more issues.

I wasn't really talking to you so much as a general statement. We have our issues with the daughter, but not disrespect or lies.....

 

[HennysMom]

Quote:
Omgoodness..thats not how I meant it Debi...... and I didnt say you didnt get it hun; I was just saying father-daughter / father-son /mother - daughter / mother-son relationships are different. I didnt know Ken had a daughter, only heard you talk about your son and step sons. Certainly didnt mean it the way you read it.

Written text... go figure

LOL, you hear more about the boys because that cause more issues.

I wasn't really talking to you so much as a general statement. We have our issues with the daughter, but not disrespect or lies.....

aint that the truth with the boys vs. girls thing?

Hey.. want to trade daughters? LOL!! Dunno how old yours is...but mines 18 and can get mouthy a bit.... I'll mail some duct tape along with her!

I hear ya....

Edited cuz I cant spell a lick today

 

[Bettacreek]

Coming from someone who was a step-daughter... Ride it out. She's a complete brat now, but once she gets older, she'll come to her senses. When I say "my parents", I mean mom and step-dad, and when I say "my dad", well, I mean my dad. My dad was in my life for the most part, but my step-dad was more of a father to me from about the age of 9 or 10 until now. When I lived with them though, it was a different story. I "HATED" them, and even moved out right after turning 17. Now that I've grown up a bit (hey, I still have plenty of room for improvement, lol) I've come to realise just how good they were. And, yes, he is papa to our kids. Our kids are just blessed with four grandparents (my parents, my dad and the MIL, hubby's dad was never in the picture, but I think it's better that he wasn't, the loser).

 

[tabsmonsters]

This late in the post, my reply might not matter much but here it is anyway!

My parents are divorced and are both on their second spouses since being married to each other. They divorced when I was around 10 ( I am almost 31

). I never disrespected my parent's spouses like that. Yeah, I didn't like the ex-step parent on both sides, but I still showed them respect as adults and let me tell you, they didn't deserve it. My take on it is, Connie, if your DH knows this is going on and says nothing to his daughter then she sees it as okay because he must not respect you either. She is 18, she should act like it. She doesn't have to like you, but she does need to show you respect. It probably doesn't help that you counter her the way you do, she may feel like you are constantly try to one-up her. As another poster said, kill her with kindness. If she can see it doesn't rankle you, she could very well stop.

It isn't easy having step-parents and I am sure it isn't hard being one either. I wish you the best of luck and I hope things get better!

 

[debilorrah]

Henny, are you SURE about that trade??? This girl is 19 drinks a gallon of milk a day and never picks up after herself EVER. I'll send her with a broom.

 

[Katy]

Quote:
We aren't talking about a colicky baby, or missing vacation/datenight/inserteventhere b/c your three year old has a fever of 104 and you have to take them to the ER. We are talking about ADULT children. Adult children that don't need bibs and hand holding to cross the street.

The real world is out there, and it isn't in their best interest to be cosseted. It's a parent's responsibility to prepare their children to be successful on their own. Part of that is not giving in to every whim.

I plan to have and enjoy many more years with my dh. But happily ever after begins on day one, not suddenly after 20 years. 5 years or 50, the same commitment to each other should be honored. I make it a point to tell my dh that I love and appreciate him. We have set a good precedent in our marriage-if we follow the path that we are already on, I have no doubt we will make through anything that life throws at us.

I agree that there are three sides to every story, but we all need a good rant now and again.

I agree there's a difference between a 3 year old and an 18 year old, but this didn't just start now, It started the moment he first introduced them. My kids were far from spoiled and protected growing up and they're all productive adults who have their own families now. But when they were kids...and I'm including when they were 18.....if they needed me they took precedence over my hubby, but I know he felt the same way. Being a parent doesn't end when they become an adult. It's not an 18 year job and then it's over. Before you have kids it's hard to understand that ...no insult intended towards you .....but it's a love that I don't think a person truely understands until you've had a child. I've always told my boys don't ever do anything or cause a situation to make your wife choose you or the kids, because you won't come out the winner over a child.

 

[HennysMom]

Quote:
*blink blink*

Debi ... you sure her name isnt Brittany?!!

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(looks at herself... my name's Deb.. your names Deb...Hmmmm)

 

[redhen]

you know..i think i'd approach this from another angle Conny....kill her with kindness! In response to her nasty post..i would have maybe said " your fathers very lucky to have your love *insert kids name here*, AND he loves you back just as much! " okay..i know that one sucked.

..but you get the idea....just keep being nice to her and telling her that yes, her father does lover her very much...etc.....and see if her attitude does not change a bit....it may...and it may not...BUT..if you keep being nice to her and she keeps being rude..your hubby WILL eventually see it! and respect you all the more for being so nice to his children... see, its a win,win situation if you kill her with kindness!

 

[TexasVet]

No, no, her name is Stephanie (a.k.a. Sam), and she lives in her room, only coming out to complain, backtalk, and gather food.

I used to tell my kids that when they turn 18 they're getting $20 and a suitcase. Now I say $20, a suitcase, and a shovel so they can clean out their rooms when they leave!

Kids, gotta' love 'em.

Kathy, Bellville TX
Mother to three... 33, 18, and 15.