THe i want to slap my stepdaughter upside her head rant by Conny

[HennysMom]

Quote:
Well now I "know" Two married couples - you and KS

In my real life - I know none...

I've been married for 20 years and while DH and I do text each other on our cells, and he may email me from work... neither of us have a Myspace or Facebook account. Oh no, I take that back.. I have a facebook that i opened 2 years ago so I could view a friends photos...and ... as Jared can atest to.. I dont even remember the stupid password and I have 2 friends... ROFLMAO!! HIM and the friend that sent me pics! HA HA HA!! So... there ya go. Dont even remember the login info! *snickering*

Guess I'm just old school that way, I dont know - pushing 40 and hubby is 45 so...

 

[tdgill]

Quote:
well then she should apologize to the DSD, and say she's sorry that she posted it that way - she didn't mean to say she loves him more than his daughter does. clearly a misunderstanding. and apologizing is not hard. its not admitting any kind of wrongdoing. you're just sorry that she took it that way...

 

[genabeana]

I know it's beyond hard to ignore her, it's real easy for me to advise that, but I'd be sooooo ticked!

If you're able to totally ignore her and her "clan" - put them out of your mind as much as possible and always treat them with neutrality - they will get bored of you and leave you alone. The 18 year old will never remember the nice things you've done, only the bad. If you just put her in a "nothing" state in your mind, you can treat her calmly. When she's grown, she'll someday realize that you've never treated her poorly. In the meantime, she's "nothing" to you and you can concentrate on your kids only! Apathy is way more disturbing to people than anger. Make is so she's so far out of your mind you don't have time to get mad - you really couldn't care less!

 

[conny63malies]

Quote:
Well now I "know" Two married couples - you and KS

In my real life - I know none...

I've been married for 20 years and while DH and I do text each other on our cells, and he may email me from work... neither of us have a Myspace or Facebook account. Oh no, I take that back.. I have a facebook that i opened 2 years ago so I could view a friends photos...and ... as Jared can atest to.. I dont even remember the stupid password and I have 2 friends... ROFLMAO!! HIM and the friend that sent me pics! HA HA HA!! So... there ya go. Dont even remember the login info! *snickering*

Guess I'm just old school that way, I dont know - pushing 40 and hubby is 45 so...

he calls me on his way back from work to talk. Heck we talk more on the phone than in person.As soon as he hits the souch at work he will fall asleep. Parents need a myspace, how else can you check on your kids.
You know the whole problem has one good thing :
I will never have to worry about babysitting grandkids the way they love me. Hey i almost got my humor back.

 

[SarahBeth9394]

Quote:
The word "more" isn't the problem. The "I love you more" game has been explained several times in this thread already. I would be happy to hear what you think once you understand what is being discussed.

 

[ksacres]

Quote:
And unless you put your partner above your kids, your marriage is likely to spend lots of time on rocky ground. A marriage is a partnership. The wants and needs of ADULT children should not enter into it at all. They are old enough to be their own keepers.

Correct me if I'm wrong here, but the only way to get "stepkids under your belt" is to get divorced and remarried. I don't plan on that scenario, I plan to keep my marriage healthy any way I can and to see it through. But that's the idealist in me. 20 years from now may be a long, rough road that will leave me at the mercy of adult step children. But I certainly hope not.

I might be young, but that doesn't mean I don't understand how things work. I myself have a stepmother. No, I don't call her "mom" (I call her MamaLu), but I was mostly grown when they got married and I adore her. She's the best thing that ever happened to my father. And I would never have dreamed of disrespecting her.

What "kids want/feel" should only be considered up to a point. I don't think allowing racist talk and belittlement should be within the allowed limits. Fighting over an extra glass of soda at dinner-probably better just to let it go. Calling your stepmother a Nazi-not so much. Those "kids" are old enough to understand that they are hurting Coni. They are also old enough that some "tough love" from their father would do them a world of good.

Coni-have you really talked about it with your DH? Does he know how much it really hurts you when they do this? Seems to me that the problem is *almost* as much with him as it is with your stepchildren. Daddy is letting them walk all over you. Until HE gets involved, it's unlikely they will change of their own free will.

 

[cwc362]

Connie- Here is my one liner for my advice to you- NEVER Let em see you sweat.
Stick to this simple rule and everything else will fall in place.

And good luck

 

[HennysMom]

Quote:
I agree with that one although I dont have the account, I just have the login and password to our DD's

Glad things are looking up for ya hun.. dont sweat it too much, she IS 18 after all - and eventually she'll grow up, may take a few years, but she'll get it eventually. Just be the adult, take the high road and do the "ok whatever" thing. No sense getting your blood pressure up, right?

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
well then she should apologize to the DSD, and say she's sorry that she posted it that way - she didn't mean to say she loves him more than his daughter does. clearly a misunderstanding. and apologizing is not hard. its not admitting any kind of wrongdoing. you're just sorry that she took it that way...



I have to disagree. I say I love you more to Ken all the time and my step kids never get all bent outta shape over it. I love you more is a thing that has been going on for ages. Conny's "D" SD needs an attitude adjustment.

 

[HennysMom]

Quote:
Isnt that a deoderant commercial?