The laziest person in the world contest...

[rIrs roost]

How many times a month should someone change the sheets on my bed?   My wife is refusing and these are getting smelly beside being wet and dirty. 

Once yearly if she's able to roll me off the bed.
Ll

 

[duluthralphie]

Have any of you had a catheter install to help with the bed sores from lying in the wet beds all day long? I am thinking a catheter with about 40 feet of tubing so my wife can just put the end in the toilet. I had to see her working to serve me, I work up a sweat and it is uncomfortable, Besides then she has to wipe my forehead...

 

[TBirdsTheWord33]

I'd love to enter this contest, but I know I stand ZERO chance of winning. Between running after two little boys with enough energy to power a major city and tending a garden the size of Montana (that's a whole separate discussion), I just can't seem to find time to sit down. BUT, I'm just one person, and SOMETHING has to give. That "something" is my laundry. Try having your baby's dirty clothes buried in a mountain of laundry so BIG and SCARY that by the time you FINALLY get them washed, he's outgrown them. Hey, maybe I'm qualified to enter this contest after all!

 

[duluthralphie]

I think the garden would disqualify you. While the clothes heap is admirable, you do eventually wash them, again another disqualification. If you had some else wash them or ordered new ones by proxy you might have had a chance.


Just to give you a reference though, if I should accidentally roll out of bed, I would not hit the floor, I would roll onto a pile of clothes as tall as the top of the bed at least. I might have to roll up hill to roll out.


But then the only time I have been known to roll over is while having a nightmare. I try to not move while awake.

 

[TBirdsTheWord33]

Yes, that's the way to do it! Speaking of the infamous Clothes Mountain, it DID, in fact, loom ominously over the foot of my bed for a couple of months. Not close enough to roll out onto (which, by the way, is a great use for dirty clothes), but pretty close nonetheless. I woke up one morning...by force, not choice...and to my great surprise, saw the shape of a woman's profile in Clothes Mountain. I was pretty creeped out at that point and within a few weeks or so, did some LONG-overdue washing. ;-)

 

[duluthralphie]

Yes, that's the way to do it! Speaking of the infamous Clothes Mountain, it DID, in fact, loom ominously over the foot of my bed for a couple of months. Not close enough to roll out onto (which, by the way, is a great use for dirty clothes), but pretty close nonetheless. I woke up one morning...by force, not choice...and to my great surprise, saw the shape of a woman's profile in Clothes Mountain. I was pretty creeped out at that point and within a few weeks or so, did some LONG-overdue washing. ;-)

That is almost creepy enough to make a person get out of bed.

 

[Tumbling K]

I think the garden would disqualify you. While the clothes heap is admirable, you do eventually wash them, again another disqualification. If you had some else wash them or ordered new ones by proxy you might have had a chance.


Just to give you a reference though, if I should accidentally roll out of bed, I would not hit the floor, I would roll onto a pile of clothes as tall as the top of the bed at least. I might have to roll up hill to roll out.


But then the only time I have been known to roll over is while having a nightmare. I try to not move while awake.

I'm guessing you actually change your clothes then? or do you have that small chore done for you?

 

[duluthralphie]

I'm guessing you actually change your clothes then? or do you have that small chore done for you?

What??

I did not get married so I would have to change my own clothes forever!!

 

[Tumbling K]

getting married sounds like so much work.....

 

[TBirdsTheWord33]

That is almost creepy enough to make a person get out of bed.

The word "almost" is key.

I'm guessing you actually change your clothes then?  or do you have that small chore done for you?

I admit I still change my own clothes, but I do so as infrequently as possible to save time and energy.