Kian, I am sorry to hear that.
This won't make you feel any better, but once, I decided I was going to build a tractor for my meat birds. I admired my handiwork, then when I moved the tractor to fresh grass.... I killed 4 birds that day that were too dumb to move with the tractor. Soon after I bought electric poultry netting. I have dogs and getting them trained, I have lost many.
I had 2 pigs this summer just waste away. I slept with 1 for about 2-3 hours trying to keep it warm... it passed by morning. The other one I shot with a .22..... 4 times....
I had a cat decided to sleep on my Suburban tire......
I wrote a long post in here about how I felt when I betrayed my girls headed to processing....
A friend lost 4 horses a month ago due to bad hay.....
In the end analysis, working with livestock, these things are going to happen.
Never lose the humanity in whatever it is you do.
A hug, a kiss and a prayer is sent to you via Loin message.