I agree, I won't keep a rooster who doesn't wing dance and who manhandles his ladies instead of inviting them. The rooster I had last year, mutt that he was (he was supposed to be a Wyandotte, but his coloring was way off) was perfect in that respect, great wing dance, very respectful for lack of a lesson personifying word. The BO rooster I had didn't, and as beautiful and HUGE as he was, I never intended to keep him (he also went through a phase were he mercilessly attacked me, but weirdly grew out of it). The Buckeye rooster I have now does both, although his wing dance isn't nearly as pronounced or elaborate. But I can't tell you when he started doing it- I would say if they're not doing it by 1 year old, they probably aren't going to, but that's my partially educated guess. I can't remember if he did it last fall (when he was only 5-7 months old), in the winter they don't breed nearly as much, so I don't tend to witness it much. But he's definitely doing it this spring.
Besides it just being gentler on the hen, I think (again, opinion) that wing dancing and "inviting" hens instead of the whole pursue and accost method is more chicken-like behavior. I want to raise chickens who maintain as many of their natural chicken behaviors as possible- just like I want a good rooster who warns his hens when a hawk flies over and hens that respond appropriately, or hens who want to sit on eggs and raise chicks, or chickens who are adept at grazing and looking for bugs and worms and don't rely so heavily on feed.
I felt the same way about both BO and BR. Not impressed with at least the ones I got- the BO were from a breeder (as was the Lemon Cukoo Orp who just died) and the BR were hatchery. Not my favorite chickens out of all I've kept. So I ate them. Except the Lemon- she was on her way to being on the list to go to the processor then went broody, so I kept her.
On that note, I was just lamenting about not having any broodies yet this spring- now (here's hoping I don't jinx it) my broody who hatched for me last spring is sitting on a nest. It's hard to tell because she doesn't growl at me (she didn't ever last year, either) but she's all flattened down on a nest and she's been there all day. If she's still there tomorrow I'll take her out and see what she does. Here's hoping she's not egg bound or something else instead... that would suck, she's an overall amazing hen.