Deb (and others), it is only you yourself that keeps you in the present situation. You are NOT your parent's or grandparent's keeper by any (acceptable) rule of law or nature, but by society's and your own "morality". When the hand that feeds is continually/repeatedly bitten, it's time to stop feeding by hand. Walk away. They will remain in their home as long as they are able to and then they can move into an assisted living environment. You don't "owe" them anything. You are not their offspring/descendant by your choice. If they helped you in life it was by their choice. If you help them it is by YOUR choice. When it gets to be too much, choose to no longer abide by it.
My mother turned into her mother as she aged. She alienated everyone in the family except my oldest sister (liar, cheat, thief, suck up), who will follow in HER mother's footsteps. I finally had enough and basically told her "it's going to be this way going forward or we won't be going forward". I haven't spoken to her in a good 4-5 years. Because she is just as stubborn as I am, I doubt I will ever see her or speak with her again. Oh well. her loss. It hasn't ruined my life and in fact has improved it. I'll never see my inheritance as my dad died several years ago and my older sister will ensure that she gets it all. Oh well... I'm living without it now and will continue to do so. I disowned that sister 25 years ago and don't regret that decision either.
I'm personally responsible for my own life, existence, happiness, and no one else's. I may choose to contribute to another's but it is NOT my responsibility. My access to this site is limited (site issues for me) and I can't access emojis, so imagine me hiding under a chair after slapping tape across my mouth.
I wish all who are experiencing this type of pain, a pain free future at some point.
I don't want to dredge anything up...since we've moved back to goats again.
I just wanted to say that those are very wise words, Latestarter. You're very correct that one should do only because they want to do and not because they feel obligation to do it because they're a child or a relative or whatever to the person.
I've realized and adjusted accordingly. I'm choosing to continue helping in my case because it helps ease my siblings and uncles family's load because they continue to see her...and not to please my Gran (because I know there's no pleasing her)
I have an huge backbone of support from my husband and son in this as well. I don't usually speak of my Grandmother in this capacity...certainly my husband knows my feelings and my family to a certain extent, but that's it. I do find it comforting, I'm not sure that's the correct word...in being able to chat with others who understand the nature of this and have or are going through this. None of my friends or classmates from school have dealt with this yet as their parents haven't hit this bump in the road.
jtn4228 - I possibly would have had the same type of experience with my mom had she not passed away so long ago. I was never close to her, but perhaps we could have gotten closer if time had permitted.
I hope no one gets anymore snow. I'm looking at you SCG. Even if you're bumpers are high enough.
And I hope we don't here either...because we've been mirroring what you've been getting.
Stop already snow!
I hope everyone's goats behave. Especially on the weekend.
Wisher....
and everyone else.
I best get my butt in gear and get my chores done. Going to the city. I guess.
Hubby's going to a movie with a friend and I'm going to use that time to "try" to find some suitable replacements for the stuff I'm wearing on my bottom half. (Once upon a time they were pants...now rags?) because all my pants are from 1998-99...no, that's not a typo or joke. We took in a young man (16) because his parents kicked him out and I figured at the time I needed appropriate non-hole filled clothes. So I think it's time to get some new pant gear. And maybe a few new t-shirts. Should. Be. Fun. NOT.
I hate clothes shopping!
At least it's just the fam, the sheep, the cattle and chickens who'll see me.
No way I can plow the road in a full V 
