Things Mom used to say...(or your Dad)

[Oldfort_mailman]

I think one of my favorites from my dad was a threat he used on us but thankfully never followed through on. He used to say if we did it again he would beat us " till the smell of manure stretched from the Darnells( neighbor half a mile south of us) to the Dunns( neighbor half a mile north of us). Thats a great deterent by the way. My favorite of my moms was when she would get so mad at us for doing something really stupid. She would never curse or call us stupid or dumb but if what we did was really stupid she would call us a "goose manure" or a "tailface". It was kind of funny as we got older but of course you didnt want to laugh in front if them.
OMG I almost forgot if anything ever smelled really bad mom would say it" smelled like a dead shoe."
I never asked her what a live shoe smelled like because i figured that question would make me a tailface.

 

[yinepu]

Quote:
oooooohhhh this is not just a quote this is a Mothers curse... and it always come true.. ...

Oh no it doesn't!
My mother cursed me with a dozen kids like me.. I enrolled in the spay and neuter program..never had a kid and never will!
THE CURSE WAS BROKEN!!!

 

[Duramaxgirl]

My mom always said. 'If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all' and she said this that always made me laugh as a kid '(fill in the blank) uglier then a board fence'
My dad had a few to....
'That sounds worse then a dieing calf in a windstorm'
'For crying out in the sink' whenever we'd do something dumb he'd say this
Sometimes I miss being a kid!

 

[eggbuster]

Dad was always saying " that's dumber then $&!t smacked with a stick".

 

[Urban Chaos]

Dont make me stop this car - I laughed the first time this came out of my mouth

we were often threatened to be sent to Timbuktu - had no idea (and still dont) where exactly that is but I gather it is out in the middle of nowhere

 

[Souperchicken]

When we would ask my dad what he was doing? His reply was always "Mildewing". I've used that one with my kids several times.

Another one he said a lot was " What's the price of rice in China?" (Not really even sure what that meant).

When ever we drove by a herd of horses he'd say "Look at those horse-asses"

My dad always made up clever little poems and funny rhymes, much to my mom's embarrassment. When he thinks no one is listening he sings songs quietly to himself, but if you pay attention he has changed some of the words to make it hilariously funny.
He comes across as being quiet, shy and VERY proper so its funny hear him sing these songs.

 

[Matthew3590]

Quote:
It is in the middle of africa

 

[yinepu]

Quote:
It is in the middle of africa

oh that reminds me of one

"you better eat all that food.. there's starving people in Africa"
(now.. just how in the heck is me cleaning my plate going to help people in another country?.. never did figure that one out... lol)

 

[Wisher1000]

Mom - "If you never date an ugly man, you'll never marry an ugly man."
"one day I'll be out at Partlow (the state mental hospital) poking frogs through the fence."

 

[NGT ANGL]

Quote:
Not from a fireman's point of view.

Not to mean that I have anything against wearing clean underwear

- when that was said to me as a teen who hadn't been driving that long, I just felt sort of jinxed whenever I would go out more from the "...never know when you will be in a wreck." part...