Things you wish you could say

I did not just inadvertently put apple cider in my cup of coffee.
To celebrate my sister's engagement, my dad took us all out to a very expensive dinner. Lobster, steak, crab. There were little pitchers of melted butter on the table.

After dinner, he had a cup of coffee and poured some melted butter into his coffee, thinking he'd picked up a small pitcher of cream.
 

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