Things you wish you could say

I swear if you do not stop your annoying bird noises I will reach through this Teams call and strangle you where you sit. You don't know your ass from a hole in the ground and if we do what you're asking us to do we will end up getting breached. How you managed to get your current role is beyond me, you're less competent at your job than a rhesus monkey on crack.
 
I swear if you do not stop your annoying bird noises I will reach through this Teams call and strangle you where you sit. You don't know your ass from a hole in the ground and if we do what you're asking us to do we will end up getting breached. How you managed to get your current role is beyond me, you're less competent at your job than a rhesus monkey on crack.
Addendum. You're also a whiner. Next time I call you out on things you don't like, come talk to me, don't go crying to my boss and his boss about being treated unfairly. I asked one simple question that you didn't have any data to back, and even suggested I could wait for the answer until later in the week.

Get over yourself dude. Seriously.
 
To the dirty grandpa age men who are customers. I'm unsure why you think it's OK to tell raunchy jokes and make provocative comments about me or just in general? I'm not a prude but this is a company.. a professional setting and I'm trying to do my job. I don't appreciate the conversation.. especially when it's in front of the manager.
 

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