Think our oldest is drinking cough syrup...

[chickenbottom]

instead of ipecac powder laxatives cant really taste it and you will know who it is running to the bathroom A LOT. i found ipecac very addicting for eating disorders i had it once and knew it would be easy to have it again that could start something new and its not something that is healthy. your the parent do what you think is best for the situation.

 

[beefy]

this has likely been ruled out as i havent read the entire post but is it possible she had some friends over one night and they were like whos up for a drinking game? thats what i did when i was 11 but that was with canadian mist, not nyquil. it would be kind of funny if your town had an outbreak of redmouthed 11 year old girls one morning.
(this doesnt explain why she asked for it twice in 5 days tho)
if i were gonna slam some over the counters, i think it would ludens cherry cough drops or grape dimatapp or maybe some flintstones chewables.

 

[chicks4kids]

Quote:
She has been told in the past, as it is a common rule, to ask for meds before taking any. So this is not a recent change. It's always been that way.

If she drinks it, we will not only know by her red mouth, but we did scratch the bottle with a needle as to where exactly the liquid line was. Your question on not knowing how much she would drink was exactly the same as my husbands. So he marked the bottle.

 

[PortageGirl]

Quote:
I see your point-but I have to know for sure--and not let her blame it on a friend. I don't want to accuse her and not know for sure because that truly would be worse than this. I do understand how you feel about deceiving her/tricking her....but it is only tricking her IF she is drinking it. If she's not, it's simply a bottle of Nyquil with food dye in it. I would absolutely hate to accuse her if it were NOT true.

There is nothing sneaky with getting SOLID proof BEFORE you accuse someone of something...The OP is doing the right thing by using the food coloring..IMO..
You shouldnt just go around accusing your kids of taking drugs..She needs 100% proof...and this is the safest/quickest way to get it.... AND as she said..if she askes her daughter, she dosent trust that she'll be honest about it...So...how else is the OP supposed to find out of her kid is chugging the cough syrup then? AND the sad truth is sometimes we as parents HAVE to be a bit sneaky to find out exactly what our kids are up to (and i would NEVER feel guilty for it ...)... I dont see it as being sneaky..i see it as being a good, caring, SMART parent..Thats trying to stay one step ahead of her kid...
And, ya know what...maybe she wont ever get the red lips...maybe mom made a mistake.( I sincerly hope so..)..so..NO harm was done by her putting in the red food coloring...its better than falsely accusing her child. AND if her daughter IS taking the syrup....then mom will know for sure and be able to get her the help she needs ASAP. Instead of just guessing...

*** AND THE CROWD CHEERS ***

Guys, the OP took some of what people said, thought things through, and made a measured decision about what to do. Any more criticism (especially without reading it all through) is just piling on.

Based on the comments I quted above, as well as her last post, she and her DH are settled about the whole thing and know what they're joint plan is.

I know people post here for extra thoughts and insights, some advice and of course VENTING when the you know what hits the fan. This is a done deal though!

I think we're all concerned for her daughter, and interested in how things turn out, partly because there's lessons for us all to learn, partly because we're all human and a little curious

, but if the OP chooses not to ever post here again about this, I really think we should all try to understand and respect that.

 

[keystonepaul]

talk to a professional who has some expertise in counciling kids with addictions and use thier expertise to fashion an approach to talking to your daughter- then do so.
You won't go to jail for the ipecac and you won't damage your daughters health but you may damage your relationship with her beyond repair when she may need you the most. Good luck we'll be praying for you. Keystonepaul

 

[PortageGirl]

n/m

 

[Chicken Fruit]

Quote:
You failed to mention the feeling of absolute helplessness the outcasts feel. The ones who want to live their own lives and not have to live up to their peers expectations. The ones that don't want to fit into the crowd. Those people, girls ESPECIALLY, are cornered by the popular girls and ridiculed, some to the point of gum put into hair, spit on, rocks thrown at, laughed at not-so-discreetly laughed at in the hallways.

The worst part is that all the boys in the school follow the popular girls and begin ridiculing the same people. Then all the wanna-be populars do the same thing. Eventually, the person that's being ridiculed no longer wants to go to school, shuts down emotionally and is scared of what people are saying.

It is an awful thing that happens, but those that live through it are stronger and more able to face the world at large. They have already endured some of the most painful examples of hatred that are out there.

This was my point exactly when I brought up the subject. I WAS that girl. I was spit on, had gum put in my hair, was shoved to the ground and literally walked on, had USED toilet paper stuck to me, the kids would draw on me with sharpies whenever I happened to wear something "popular" looking. i was made to sit alone at my own table at lunch while the rest of the room hurled insults and food at me, DAILY. Every single day at school. Why? Because we were missionaries and moved up there from out of state. the teachers did nothing except look the other way, smirk, or send me to the pricipals office. And that was just in 6th and 7th grade. I was a baby for God's sake.

On top of all that was the pressure of learning and succeeding. My fix was anorexia and insomnia. if she's facing even a tiny FRACTION of that you can imagine why she'd feel she needed the cold medicine to sooth her to sleep.

Or it could be she's one of the popular girls who's faced with the pressure of being objectified, expected to be perfect, and trying to maintain her position. Thats incredibly stressful too.

The thing is, I tried numerous times to explain things to my parents, but i never seemed to be able to. Not to their fault. I just couldnt find a way to say anything more than "everything is fine".

In the end, as a grown adult I confronted all those grown kids, save the worst one because he ended up ruining himself, and found that they all remembered me and were plagued with guilt. We ended up being on friendly terms in the end. Just added that because as a parent it would make me feel better to see the end result.

 

[ohiofarmgirl]

admittedly i havent read this entire thread but frankly i'm shocked by how many folks pitched in with putting something, anything, in that bottle and letting her learn from that.

as she is probably doing this with her friend(s) why on EARTH would you risk poisoning someone else's child!!!!!!???????

you may know your own child's medical situation (allergies, drug interactions etc) but someone else's? what do you think you'd do if her friend's parents did this to YOUR child without you knowing it??

based on the ridiculous and destructive behavior of my niece who did all the stupid things teens do, here is my advice:

* if you really dont have a better plan than doing this please call your school's counselor or your DARE office. they will know what to do
* if you want your child to know you are aware of their behavior - either sit them down or put the empty bottle in their room
* pick up the phone or march over there and tell the other parents what you know and what you suspect
* go thru the rest of the list of teen behavior - drinking, drugs, cutting and determine what she is or is not doing. do not fool yourself - where there is smoke there is fire.
* dont fall into the trap of denial by saying not MY child. yes your child.

you parents need to stick together and provide a united front. we found out what my niece was doing and called the other parents. they all reacted with the same indignant, not MY child...but when they finally cooled off and went and searched rooms, asked questions, and went thru email/phones etc they found it was all true. all of the parents sat their children down and talked to them. all stopped the ridiculous behavior and half of them ended up the much needed therapy.

except my niece who found new and even stupider ways to deceive her parents...who merrily went along with the lied rather than admit they were overlooking and enabling her behavior. she is now 18, has been arrested at least 2 times, wrecked 3 cars. finally she got new friends and now wants to stop her stupid behavior and wants to do right - but she is paying a heavy heavy price.

if you think this is a passing phase - its not and will only get worse. its best to face it head on and with open eyes then play games or pretend its not happening. i pray you wont have to go thru what our family has with this child.

good luck.

 

[TipsyDog]

Chicks4 - This might sound out there, but please check your 4 years olds for red mouth too. ALOT of little kids drink this stuff "because it tastes good". You never know!

 

[mikenandrea]

I have had to deal with this problem in the past with my 14 now 17 YO son. We knew it was him, no doubt about it. We immediately let him know that we knew and nipped it in the butt. I dont know what I would have done, if it was something that I had to actually prove. I get what others are saying about decieving her. But I also GET what YOU are saying about NEEDING to know. Of course I take your POV in the matter. My kids know that if I suspect something, they have no right or privacy. I am going to get to the bottom of it..