This is too much for me.

[Sparrow]

^^That is exactly why I haven't done anything rash, even when I reeeally wanted to. I've thought about it a few times, calling the cops or similar, but I don't think the outcome in this situation would be very good. I don't know for sure, but it seems that way.

I'm going to look into some support groups around here. It really helps to be able to talk to people who understand whats happening.

Oblio13, I'm not sure if you're trying to kick me when I'm down or something with that comment. I assure you that if I was just an angsty "adolescent" frustrated about my decent parent's rules, I would NOT lay it all out there like I did in this thread. I am not that type of person, things have to build up inside for me for a long time before I let anybody know about it. Let alone a huge website like this. Now, I did expect some people to have harsh opinions about my situation, and likely some advice that might bother me...but I did not assume anyone would try to call me an "adolescent" because I'm not moved half way across the country from my family, some of which I'm very close to(Mom, brother, grandma), because I tend to date men who are in their mid-late 20's nowadays, and because I brood poultry initially in my bedroom. I think you misunderstood the "older boys" thing...that was back when I was 14 years old and dated older teenagers. I'm not sure why you think I don't work, I just don't have enough of an income to afford my own place right now. It's not easy to get that great of a job when you're still in college as well, and your family doesn't have a lot of extra money. If you agree with what my father is doing, just tell me. It's your choice. But, I would appreciate it if you don't continue to attack me verbally and throw out insults. I have no desire to create fantastical stories about my home life and post them online for an ego boost. None of this is fun for me.

 

[Buff Hooligans]

Quote:
Then I think the thread should be concluded.

 

[Sparrow]

^^I really appreciate the advice that I've been reading here. I didn't mean to give that impression! I meant that nothing having to do with this situation in my life was fun. Honestly this thread isn't what I would consider "fun" either...but it has given me some very good insight into what I need to do. I needed that, because I've been in the middle of it long enough that sometimes it's hard to tell exactly what I should do.

 

[BeckyLa]

Then I think the thread should be concluded.

Why does it have to be a "fun" thread to help someone? Why close the thread when all she has done is come to talk (which is very therapeutic) and seek understanding and strength? I thought we were here to support each other even if it's not "just" about chickens......​

 

[BeckyLa]

Sparrow, I have no advice only love, understanding, and

 

[balticbabe]

For what it’s worth

You can’t choose your parents and not everyone is fit to be a parent. Unfortunately lots of men disregard their daughters.

Getting a restraining order or calling the cops isn’t going to help. Plus no judge would kick a man out if his house so his grown daughter doesn’t have to hear harsh words.

You’re an adult and so is your mom. She chose to marry this man and have children with him; it’s not your job to run interference between the two. I don’t think it’s fair that she asks to but I understand that you want to help her out. You might be in a better position to help her once you get away from the situation but it isn’t your responsibility to fix her relationship. Actually you can’t, not possible, only she can do it.

And it sounds to me that she’s trying to get you to take sides. Unless your father says something straight to your face consider it hearsay. I have too many friends that hated either their father or mother based on what the other parent said over the years. Once away from the situation they realized what they were told wasn’t quite they truth.

Hope this situation works out for you. It will in the long run. Hang in there.

 

[Buff Hooligans]

Quote:
Why does it have to be a "fun" thread to help someone? Why close the thread when all she has done is come to talk (which is very therapeutic) and seek understanding and strength?

People started to argue and misunderstand each other. That can lead to additional, separate anxiety than the original thought behind Sparrow's first posting. I'm glad it's helping her. If it were me, I'd be cryin' in my pillow.

 

[knippk]

Sparrow...... I was just smacked in the face with my childhood!!!! My father was just like yours. I've always had a luv for animals soooo, of course he hated this idea. But i was very lucky to have grandparents close by with open arms that had a passion for animals and me! I'm 28 now and i've not lived at home for 10 years......and like you half the battle was me defending my mother! But as time went on i stopped......she has her choices and i had mine. I would never let him hurt her but she did force me to live with the man! Like you i never got into trouble and i worked from the day i turned 16 and for years before that cutting grass and doing farm work for neighbors.....i was in the top 10 of my class out of 250 students.....that still wasn't enough. When i was 23 i almost died due to a medical condition.......i was in the hospital for a month.... no visit from my father!!! Nothing changed until HE had a few heart problems that almost done him in...... I don't know what happened to him but he changed...... sorry dosent make it all go away but in a strange way it helps. This past year my dad has went to swap meets with me and helped me fix fences for my goats!!! I also raise pugs and i have 4 females that are my life!!! And this past May for my b-day my father came to my house holding a little male. I almost fell over!!!! He still thinks animals should ALWAYS make you money but he just says what he thinks and after all the years.....laughs??? I'm sorry to go on and on and i know it's hard to see real far ahead........i would have never dreamed that my dad would've changed the way he has.....but if you've ever heard that old saying (KILL THEM WITH KINDNESS) I would say give it a try!!!! I really hope it gets better for you.......and just remember....it's not your fault!!!!

 

[Oblio13]

I have a couple questions:

Who is providing the roof over your head?

Who is putting the food on your table?

I'm shocked at all the advice about trying to have your father arrested. He may indeed be a bum - we haven't heard his side of the story - but even if he is, you're 21. If you can't stand life with the people supporting you, spread your wings and fly.

 

[Sparrow]

^^Actually, my father AND mother built this house from scratch 24 years ago. She put more money into it, because my dad couldn't hold a job and was a biker. Today, my father still doesn't hardly ever put money into this house, he puts it into his other house which he is at more often than this one. Occasionally, he will make a house payment, but frequently he says he will do it and never does. Then, we get bill collectors pressuring all the time, and have to come up with what we can to pay it.

My Mom and I put the food on the table. We both take turns cooking/making food. He doesn't buy us food, he stocks his own house instead. He just comes by a few evenings a week, eats the food if it's there, and leaves angry if it isn't.