This really, really sucks. (Rant on my rapidly failing health)

[sourland]

Tani, this makes me feel so very sad. As I have mentioned before I have a grand daughter who is dealing with Lupus/Rheumotoid arthritis. It's just not fair. It pains me to see her in such discomfort and to hear that you too are dealing with a similar situation. Keep your dreams and keep your faith. That plus the people who care for us can help us cope.

 

[EmtheFishLady]

 

[Tanichca]

gentle hug for you Tani! Are all these things related to your original diagnosis? Can they do something to help your heart pump more efficiently?

Yep, everything stems from the EDS. As for my heart, there is nothing they can do. I take extra amounts of iron, potassium, and protein to try and give it a boost.


Thanks so much for the hugs and prayers everyone. CityGirlInTheCountry, you're right, you're so right!

Thanks again, everyone. I'm going in tomorrow to get my braces fixed and my jaw looked at, and then this week I finally get a prescription for some heavy painkillers. Keep up the prayers.

 

[Mattemma]

Praying life gets better for you.

My chronic illness was very painful headaches daily for about 10-12 years.Changed me physically and how I interacted with the world.Doing better these days.Hope things get better for you too.

 

[Chickerdoodle13]

Citygirlinthecountry is dead on! Illnesses are definitely a pain in the butt to deal with, but your dreams are still in reach! Even if at some point a wheelchair will make life easier, that is not an end all. Now a days, there is very little a person in a wheel chair cannot do! I don't think the psychiatrist option is unreachable at all. But even if med school will be difficult, you can still go to school to be a psychologist and go the therapy route. There really are so many options in that field. I don't think anyone would discount you as a therapist just because you were in a wheelchair. In fact, I think that would make a person even more understanding of many of the situations they may encounter. I've known therapists who dealt with suicide and severe depression themselves, and they were still incredibly effective at their jobs.

I'm sorry you have so much to deal with at this point though. I hope you start feeling better! Having illnesses can certainly make things feel hopeless, but there is usually a light at the end of the tunnel, even if it is difficult to see at times. I know that has gotten me through many rough points in my life when dealing with my (often uncooperative) juvenile diabetes.

 

[Tanichca]

Even though I know that having a wheelchair is no longer the disability it was several years ago, the idea of being dependent on other people to help me dress, use the restrooms, drive, or make food is abhorrent to me. I like being my own person, and being paralyzed would take that all away. Also, it's another dream that after I become a psychiatrist or psychotherapist (if med school doesn't work out,) I'd love to become a foster parent. The general rule is, however, that you can't be a foster parent if you yourself are disabled.

I can see, though, how being disabled could help if I did become a therapist. So you're right, maybe that dream isn't in the tubes just yet.

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

Learning to let others do stuff for us is the hardest thing in the world for us independent types. I totally understand you there! But there comes a point that you have to prioritze. What is the most important goal in your life? Having someone help you dress and go to the bathroom is embarrassing for sure, but sometimes you just have to suck it up and accept the help. If it happens that way, it happens that way. Since your only other option is dead, having help dressing and pottying isn't that bad. Having someone cook for me and drive me around is actually one of my biggest wishes! Think of all the stuff you can get done while someone else has the hassle of driving! Same deal on dinner. Please, please, puhleeeze someone come cook for me. And clean my house.

I understand your disappointment about perhaps not being able to foster. Keep in mind that there are many, many ways to be able to nurture children. If that option goes away you are clever enough to figure out another way to achieve the same end. Who knows? Whatever you come up with might be an even greater influence on even more children.

It does suck, Tanicha. It really, really does. It isn't fair and it completely sucks. But life just is what it is. Everyone has something wrong in their world. We don't get to chose what that rotten thing is. You get what you get. It can always be worse. You have a quick mind and a lively personality and so many people that love you and enjoy you. While it does help every now and then to throw a huge fit about the crappiness of it all, you do have to eventually move past that and look at what you CAN accomplish. Otherwise you will waste a perfectly good life that could be amazing.

 

[chickenneighbor]

I used to license foster homes for the state of Maine. We didn't look to see if a person was disabled, but how they dealt with their challenges. If you have a good network of people around you to help when you need it, that means a lot. It's all about being there for each other, and the hardest part is asking for help. Also, child advocates are badly needed, and no one knows better than someone who has experienced difficult situations. Please don't give up on your hopes and dreams; try to find a way. We're here praying for you.

 

[Glenmar]

I hope you start to feel better.

 

[punk-a-doodle]

You may find comfort in groups geared towards people with your same, or a similar, condition. Some people do, and some people don't, but doesn't hurt to look into if you think it has a possibility of helping. Do keep in mind that most people change their goals and direction many, many times through life! It is ensuring that we have something to enrich our lives that really seems to be important, even if that something changes several times over.